A Research Paper created by Rashmi Shetty
(Life Coaching, INDIA)
This case study takes many a turn to lead Kalpana to find that happiness in life she was constantly in search of. She realized the destination is not outside but within her. Her coaching journey was accidental but what she learnt in it was, “we need to first be limited in order to become limitless.”
Background to the Coaching Journey
Kalpana had the upbringing of a typical middle class family. The only child to her parents, she was well looked after. Afflicted with polio at the age of 4, this bright kid suddenly could not walk properly. To prove she is no way less than the students round her, she worked very hard on her skill sets. She constantly was the topper in her class. Shy & reticent, she constantly was the one who would be the agony aunt to her friends & classmates.
Thus girls would be very confident to confide in her as they never saw her as a threat. School was thus a breeze for her till the 11th grade. Good in studies after the 10th she took the science stream. In the 11th she had decided to pursue engineering & worked very hard in her 11th & 12th as well. 12th was when life took a sharp turn. The most popular boy in school Naveen started becoming very friendly with her. He would never miss a chance to speak to her. She knew she was never a beauty queen. Somehow she enjoyed the attention Naveen was giving her & her friends were teasing her .She was slowly becoming bold to face anyone & was happy to spend time in front of the mirror. She gave a lot of herself to keep this special friendship. Her grades were falling, but it was the best part of her life. One day Naveen asked her if she would come with him was to a beach resort & she agreed. On the morning of the trip, she was excited. She reached the spot they had decided to meet early. Excited that the two of them would have the whole day together. What happened then on was something she would never forget. A few minutes later a whole lot of her classmates reached there & took her by surprise. Soon she knew this was not what she thought it would be. Naveen walked in with a group of friends & all of them laughing aloud. He looked at her & apologized saying he & his friends had a bet that he would convince the most shy girl of the class to come with him for a whole day alone. They thought Kalpana would be tough to get. Heart broken & insulted, Kalpana went back to her studies with a vengeance. She decided she would never trust a guy again.
She topped her school in the finals & got into a good engineering college. College was the best four years & she was part of a group who had a lot of fun & she definitely was sure she never would have a best friend in her life. She somehow was critical of anyone who would be friendly & thought they were doing a favor to her & did not encourage it. Slowly but surely she was becoming bitter about relationships & this was not allowing her to be herself. She wanted no one to take advantage of her handicap & treat her normally. She never realized how this was making her bitter. When she joined the MNC she was selected into, she was someone who was completely muddled emotionally, confused whom to trust & whom not to.
I met Kalpana .Her details spoke of an achiever but her body language gave away a lot more about the diffidence she was carrying. Her language skills were very good & as we got down discussing her take aways, she was very clear she wanted to be able to trust people.
She shared about how she always suspected anyone trying to be nice as suspicious & therefore could not build a deep relationship with anyone. She could not trust guys & found it tough to be friendly with them. In her workplace she found a lot of them & this was her biggest challenge. She felt she was always taken as someone who was given a lot of favors because of her disability & she hated herself for this.
Outcomes Set by Kalpana
- Ability to connect with people as they are.
- Complete self-acceptance
- Change her perspectives towards men