The Coaching process and the competencies /tools used
The time frame set was 4 months with 10 sessions that we could work on.
The most powerful tools I used were: trust vs. doubt, responding vs. reacting, responsibility vs. blame, reframing perspectives. The skills that were used were: power listening, powerful questioning, Visualizing & creating trust. Questioning her underlying beliefs & Acknowledgement was also used frequently & his helped her be kind on herself.
Ability to connect with people as they are
It was important for Kalpana to accept people as they are. As she shared her moments in school & college & her own physical shortcomings, she started to feel lighter. She decided by first accepting herself with her limitations completely. This was a slow process to begin with. It turned out to be one of the most significant. She started realizing that when she could connect to the core of herself everything else was a lot easier.
She decided her action would be to share even her smallest fears & thus eliminate it. Complete acceptance of her colleagues was also where she was comfortable. She started by identifying someone she could trust completely who would help her in the process.
Slowly she saw changes as she decided to respond rather than react & the shift in perspective for her was when she saw most of the challenges she saw were self created because of her past. She was happy that everyone around her was worthy of her time & she was in a beautiful space.
Kalpana found this a dire need. As the conversations grew & covered different aspects of her life, she realized that there was an aspect she never spoke about ie., her physical disability. She recalled with pride some of the moments she overcame this disability just to prove to herself she is as good or even better than an able bodied person. In a calmer space & time it became easy for her to completely accept her shortcomings. Her biggest fear always remained failure because of this.