A Case Study By Gijs Roger Van Wezel, Life Coach, MALAYSIA
Leading Teams as a Manager (“Will I Be the Clown of the Company?”, if I Do Not Profile Myself)
I opened naming the confidentiality of our meetings, which meant a great deal to the client.
My client’s initial aim was to: “lead teams as a manager”. As we had multiple sessions there was enough time to gain trust, create safety, and explore the perceived reality and subsequent mindset. In May he is expecting to become a first-time father to a son. In my free time, I love to watch and play football. During the World Cup, his hero is Modric.
Finding-It:
Our session started with the proud opening statement of having a double graduation (mathematics and informatics) with distinction from the university, being the award winner for the creator of the best algorithm at an international bank.
Question: “You have great qualifications at university and from within the bank, what challenges are you experiencing?
Answer: My communication skills are quite ok, but I wonder “How do I come across”?
Question: Why?
Answer: Because I feel often frustrated by colleagues with a lower IQ. Also, my current cross-functional manager (not my line manager) is disrespecting me.
Question: How is he disrespecting you?
Answer: Henk takes all the speaking time during meetings which frustrates me and my colleagues as we have to do the creation of the algorithm. He literary says I am the most senior and most experienced, so I decided. He (Henk) does not give me time to share my viewpoint and he is not even that knowledgeable in creating algorithms. The other team members are also frustrated with him.
Question: How does this situation impact your journey to “lead your team as a manager”?
Answer: the other team members (Louis – slow and social, Mohammed introvert, Felix smart & Dimitros) are unhappy with this way of working so I have raised the issue with my line manager (Thomas), who recommended I take up the matter directly with Henk.
Question: The advice is to speak directly with Henk. Your topic is “leading the team as a manager”? What comes up for you hearing this?
Answer: If my colleagues are asking me to take this topic to the manager, then I act as a manager and take responsibility. This will help me to profile myself as the manager.
Question: What weighs more on you the issue of Henk disrespecting the opinions of others or your ambition to act as a manager?
Answer: thinking….. Yes, I guess it is my ego that is troubling me.
Question: What is it you would like to explore in your journey towards “leading your team as a manager”, with this self-awareness?
Answer: How I can prevent my ego from making me too sensitive towards authority and different opinions? Actually saying all this sounds like I am an arrogant person, but I am not arrogant.
Note: at this point, the power tool: Significance versus Lightness comes to mind. I decide to keep this in the back of my mind and not bring “ICA” language into the session.
Feel-IT
Question: You said you now felt disrespected by Henk and at times frustrated by the intelligence of some colleagues. What does disrespect and frustration make you feel?
Answer: It makes me restless, and insecure.
Question: What is it that makes you so restless? The idea that I have trouble accepting and dealing with authority, different opinions, and people who do not understand me frustrates me as I know it is a requirement for my ambition.
Acknowledgment: What a great awareness that is; the frustration of dealing with different opinions could be an obstacle towards your leadership ambition. What does this bring up for you?
Answer: It is a mirror for me and makes me more aware, but I do not know how to change this attitude.
Powerful Question: May I share an idea that comes to mind with you? If mindset sets determine our behavior, how would you describe to mindset you have when being confronted with authority or people who question your opinion?
Answer: Huh ….. silence. I guess I want to win, be right. Maybe I am insecure deep down.
Question: It is not unusual for people like to be “right”. How would you describe your feelings when in a conversation with someone who wants to be “right”?
Answer: Definitely it will make me uncomfortable. Henk creates a fear culture, and that is why I am motivated to change.
Frame-It
Question: How would you describe your perspective when feeling a fear culture?
Answer: My opinions are not being heard.
Acknowledgment: I hear that this is unpleasant for you. I am curious, what else could drive Henk’s dominant behavior?
Answer: The deadline for the first version is Wednesday and Henk is very pragmatic. Whereas we prefer to think things through before making things.
Question: In your overall goal of being a team leader, what perspective would serve you better?
Answer: Focus on every individual’s qualities and less only on my own qualities. Henk has given me an “aha” experience that he and I are both not giving others space/time to express themselves.
Acknowledgment: What a powerful reflection you mentioned; an aha. How will that help you to reach the deadline?
Answer: I do not know yet if it will serve me, but I could give it a try. Not waste energy to fight or flight but to be open and wait for what will emerge. Speak/contribute not to profile myself, but to support a team result.