A Coaching Model Created by Freya Nishimura
(Transformational Coach, UNITED STATES)
Pause. Rewind. Fast Forward. I grip this handy little object as I watch “Downtown Abbey.”
Isn’t DVR the best thing? There is no rushing home to catch my favorite show. There is no wasting time on commercials I’ve seen over and over. I’m a slave to this wonderful thing called the REMOTE CONTROL.
But isn’t this how life seems to play out? We write our own script, we star in it, we direct it, we produce it.
We invite other stars, actors and actresses who play big or small roles. We watch ourselves perform in this show of LIFE, and sometimes we want to see it replayed for the fun of it, other times, we just want to delete it and never remember it even happened.
Your LIFE is in your hands. You are the creator of your own destiny.
When an opportunity presents itself, what do you do? Stand By? Turn Off? Restart?
There sometimes comes a time in life where we decide to take a new path (hopefully a path for the better). Restarting your life, especially if you’ve had some really tough times, can seem almost impossible. But it IS possible!
Accept yourself for who you are. This step is very hard, but you have to try. Say
I’m beautiful and I love me for me in every way.
in front of the mirror ten times a day. It may seem silly, but it helps! Once you accept yourself, you can accept others. Think of things you love about yourself and say it aloud e.g.
I am a great dancer or I am an awesome cook.
Find a new hobby. Finding a new hobby will keep you distracted from doing bad things. Try new things like drawing, dancing, playing sports or swimming. Look online for ideas, in the news, or ask a friend for a hobby they suggest.
Be kind. Take kindness into action. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Be helpful and step into the person’s shoes if in a tough situation. Try to understand how they feel first to help them. Say “Hi” to someone new every day and wave to them.
Reclaim a greater sense of personal power, and create a life YOU are truly meant to live.
The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. Eleanor Roosevelt
We are the featured stars in our own TV shows, our own movie plots. If my life was a movie, I would entitle it… “Mulan”, a story…
I stepped right off the screenplay and I walked right into the movie. It is liberating, to draw from our own life experiences, but first we have to experience it. We could have stories after stories, shelves and shelves of books with all kinds of fascinating titles and compelling storylines. Our lives are unfinished narratives of different scenarios, of various protagonists, of interesting characters, and richly defined backstories, vitals, personal nuances. We can edit our lives and make it less complicated, less structured, less cluttered, less stuff, more happiness. We can control what happens to us and how we respond to what happens to us.
We all have the same amount of time to use in a day. Why do some people get a lot done while others do very little? You have complete control of how much time you spend productively and how much you waste. Plan your days and prioritize your time to get the most out of the time you have. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life. Learn to accept total responsibility for yourself. If you do not manage yourself, then you are letting others have control of your life. These self-management tips will help “you” manage “you.”
Look at every new opportunity as an exciting and new-life experience. Plan the future, but live in the present.
Live in the Now. The current instant is the only time in which you have control-not the past, not the future, just now, in this instant. Use your subconscious mind by telling it to do what you do want. Instead of telling yourself,
I can’t do that very well, say, I can do this very well.
Develop a faster operating tempo or pace. Do things with a sense of urgency. Get over thinking you must do everything yourself. Take time to be quiet and reflective for a few minutes each day. Agree with yourself in advance that you will have a good attitude toward the upcoming task. Plan the future, but live in the present.
Instead of thinking about what you didn’t get done, recognize all you did get accomplished and reward yourself for having done the most important things.
Occasionally, sit quietly and do a self-assessment of your skills and strengths.
Establish personal incentives and rewards to help maintain your own high enthusiasm and performance level.
I was at Barnes and Noble the other day and I saw a cup with the following quote inscribed
Your life is your message to the world, make sure it is inspiring.
Everything that’s coming into your life (Outcome), YOU are attracting into your life. And it’s attracted to you by virtue of the images (Outlook) you’re holding in your mind. It is what YOU are thinking. Whatever is going on in your mind, YOU are attracting to YOU.
And YOU have CONTROL of every thought that crosses your mind and the power to respond or react.
Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.~Buddha
The person you need to trust first is yourself. No one can be as consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be. Being kind to yourself increases self-confidence and lessens your need for approval. Loving and caring for yourself not only increases self-trust, it also deepens your connection with others.
Self-trust means that you can take care of your needs and safety, Wall said. It means you trust yourself to survive situations, and practice kindness, not perfection. It means you refuse to give up on yourself, she said.
How do you know if you don’t trust yourself?
Lack of faith in oneself shows up in the way we make ourselves do things. It’s the difference between being your own worst enemy, versus your own best friend. If you spend a lot of time regretting things you’ve done or decisions you’ve made, you don’t trust yourself.
If you beat yourself up, if you think you’re not doing good enough, or if you constantly feel like you’ve got underutilized potential then you don’t trust yourself.
It really comes down to is this: You’re afraid that if you were to feel totally happy about your life, your motivation to actually do things might vanish.
People who don’t trust themselves are terrified of allowing themselves to feel good. They’re afraid that if they do feel good, their motivational drive will disappear – they don’t trust that they’ll still want to create, give or grow.
People who don’t trust themselves create self-perpetuating cycles of stress and anxiety to ensure they never get to that place where they’re happy or satisfied. This ensures they never run out of whips to crack over their own back.
TRUST that you have to make time for yourself.
TRUST that you can design a life where your happiness is your foundation.
TRUST that it’s time to put yourself first and make happiness your top priority.
Who else is going to do it for you?
This says it all.
You Have The Power To Say,
This is not the way my story will end. Author Unknown