Power Tool: Resignation vs. Motivation

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Hélène Genillard
(Life Coach, SWITZERLAND)

 (by Rita Barry on Fitblogger.ca)

 Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later. By Og Mandino (American Author)

Depending on what is happening into our lives we could either be motivated to keep enjoying this state of being or resign ourselves to endure it.

Self-Application

Resignation:

Definition of resignation (inspired by businessdictionary.com):

Internal and external factors that annihilate desire and energy in people to be continually interested and committed to a job, role or subject, or to make an effort to attain a goal.

Among many aspects within our lives that could put us in a resignation mode are:

Culture:

We were brought up to respect the (country, religion or family) authority, not challenge it. We believe that others know better what is right for us.

• I shouldn’t be questioning what other people believe is good for me.

Past:

Some people have a difficult personal history to live with.

• I will never succeed because my father was such a lazy person all his life. He put our family in many difficult situations. I am sure to have the same genes.

Tiredness:

 We are not healthy, as we don’t sleep enough, eat well or exercise regularly for example.

• I am not mentally/physically strong enough.

Unrealistic goal:

As our goal is unachievable we can only be resigned not to achieve it.

• I would like to become the next US president but I know nothing about politics J

Undefined goal:

How could we be motivated if we are not clear what our goal is.

• I am hesitating between many options and cannot find the energy to move forward.

Low self-confidence:

We believe we are not good enough to change how things are.

• I don’t deserve my goal.
• I am not worthy for my goal.

Finding excuses:

We find external excuses to stay in our resignation mode.

• It is not my fault if…
• I have no time to give to my goal.
• Maybe this goal is not that important for me.

There are many other possible aspects and inner thoughts.

Motivation:

Definition of motivation (from businessdictionary.com):

Internal and external factors that stimulate desire and energy in people to be continually interested and committed to a job, role or subject, or to make an effort to attain a goal,

Among many aspects within our lives that could put us in a motivation mode are:

Culture:

Depending on where we grew up we could have been regularly encouraged to pursue our goals since our childhood. For example the American culture is very positive as it looks to our strengths more than our weaknesses.

• You can do it and if you don’t succeed at least you tried and learnt lessons on the path.

Past:

By realizing that we have a deeper issue to resolve we will work on gaining back our motivation. However, if the reason of our resignation comes from a difficult past, a psychologist would be the right person to talk to and not a coach.

• I will get the support needed with a psychologist to move forward.

A strong mental and physical health:

Sports, meditation, being well surrounded by family and friends might bring us the support we need.

• I feel supported by the people who matter to me.
• I have a lot of strengths.
• I know better what works for me.

A realistic goal:

We know what we are able to achieve.

• I want to change jobs within the field of my training.

A defined goal:

We know what our goal is.

• I really want to complete my training by the end of the year.

Good self-confidence:

We believe we can change how things are but we are also aware that, even if we cannot achieve all that we want, at least we tried.

• It is better to try than to have regrets.
• I deserve my goal.
• I am strong enough to try it even if it doesn’t work.

Taking responsibility towards our actions or non-actions.

• It might not be the right time for me to move forward but I can still work on more positive thinking in general…

There are many other possible aspects and inner thoughts.

Coaching Application:

Through coaching the coachee will get his confidence back. The coach will support the coachee in defining a clear and realistic goal and to keep following it. Coaching will be there to keep in sight the positive aspects of the goal or/and the path to reach it. Of course the coach and coachee will make sure there is no negative aspects for the coachee or his surrounding to pursue his goal.  It will maintain the hope and energy to reach it through visualization and a healthy life among other tools.

Case study:

It is the story of Sofia who is working in a corporate company. She would like to switch jobs and learnt from a famous head-hunter that for it to happen she needs an additional training, which is a diploma in journalism. She found a good online distance school and started her diploma. At the beginning she is very motivated to learn again and move towards a possible change. However little by little she finds it difficult to motivate herself at night and during weekends to keep working for her diploma. She starts finding excuses such as: “I am too tired” “ I will never succeed, as it is much more work than I thought it would” Is it really useful to change jobs?”

There are many other possible excuses. She realizes the need to start working with a coach.

• The coach asks how important it is for her to change jobs. Sofia confirms it is very important as she is bored in her job and has no future with it.
• He asks her how comfortable she is with studies. She replies that she was always a good student with good grades.
• How is she experiencing studying alone? There she realizes she enjoys being part of a group. Therefore it is difficult to self-motivate herself. She decides then to ask the online school for contact details of students who might be in the same situation. So they could exchange emails and motivate themselves.
• They discuss how regular she is in her studies. She lacks regularity. The coach explains that putting time slot in her agenda for her diploma every week could help. Otherwise, she gets caught in her daily life and will even forget about studying or find excuses.
• They also work on a visualization exercise of how she would feel when receiving her diploma. Of course she would feel so happy! To help her keep in mind the feeling she prints a small version of the diploma she would receive from the school website. Having it on her desk would also help maintaining her motivation.
• Sofia needs also a closer follow-up of her classes’ progress. Therefore every week she commits to her coach a certain amount of studies.

Supported by her coach Sofia finally gets her journalism diploma within the year. She is able to change jobs and is really proud of her perseverance in giving herself a chance to move towards a more enjoyable future!

Building Motivation:

Look for the positive aspects within you and within the situation:

• Train your brain. Reprogram it positively by using for example: journaling, stone reminders of joy, visual board…
• Set up the real goal.
• Set up a realistic goal.
• Ask for help around you, you are not alone!
• Keep promises to yourself! Even a small one!
• Get back to a healthier life (through: exercise, better food, meditation…) to have a better mental. A healthy mind in a healthy bodyJ
• Visualize success.
• Take responsibility towards your actions and non-actions.

Reflection Questions:

1. Can I trust my motivation?
2. Can I trust my feeling?
3. What would a motivated person do right now?
4. What are the signs of my resignation?
5. What would I do if I were never resigned?
6. What I do to learn from my resignation?
7. Is my choice the right one for me?
8. What is the most important for me right now?
9. How would I feel when I reach my goal?

Conclusion:

There will be days in our life when we will not be motivated to pursue our goals. Through coaching we will be able to define if:

• Our goal is the one we think it is,
• Our goal is realistic,
• It is the right time for us to move towards our goal.
• The goal is not harmful for others or us.

When we will get a clearer vision to where we are heading at, coaching will support us in getting back our motivation. We will get the motivation to visualize our goal with its possible positive aspects for us. If for any reasons we didn’t reach our goal at least we were aware of what we learnt during the path. Isn’t it better to regret something we have done than something we haven’t?

I have no regrets, because I’ve done everything I could to the best of my ability. Robert Redford (Actor)

(by http://weheartit.com)