A Coaching Power Tool Created by Frosina Mitrovska
(Personal Development Coach, NETHERLANDS)
The topic of this assignment is directly inspired by a personal experience that has not only influenced my way of being as a coach but also me as a person. I will further explore and explain the power of the words and the power of speaking out our wishes and dreams in comparison to staying quiet and keeping things inside ourselves.
The power of the spoken word is also a topic that is widely researched by scientists. Some of those findings will also be used to further concretize the benefits of the power tool.
Keeping in
(Intr; also preposition) to stay indoors To restrain (an emotion); repress
Verbalizing
Express (ideas or feelings) in words, especially by speaking out loud.
They are unable to verbalize their real feelings
Keeping in
Keeping things in, staying quiet, not sharing our wishes and dreams with the world, is a very common behaviour. I would like to clearly recognize that this is not necessarily always a negative pattern. Often keeping wishes and dreams in for a certain period of time is almost a necessary step for many people in the process of creating and preparing themselves to make their dreams come true. However, if prolonged or never ended this behaviour can damage the potential of taking actions towards realizing persons wishes and dreams.
As a coach, I see this behaviour as an important source of information for the client and for the coach as well. Keeping the dreams and wishes quiet and not speaking out, can be a symptom of a few blocking reasons. Fear of disapproval, lack of understanding from the close environment, and/or lack of confidence in oneself. It is the role of the coach to help the client explore the emotions and beliefs behind this behaviour and reframe the same in order to move with the next steps in the coaching process and the development.
Verbalizing
As research shows, verbalizing of our thoughts has a tremendous impact on our well being. Expressing the wishes and dreams out loud activates the brain into action mode towards actions that help to achieve the same.
Researchers have discovered that when we use positive words like peace, love, and loving-kindness, we modify our brain functions by generally increasing cognitive reasoning and strengthening areas around our frontal lobes. Therefore, utilizing positive words more frequently than negative words can actually activate the motivation centres of the brain, prompting them into action.
Coaching application
Coaching questions to be used in order to move the client from the “keeping in” to the “verbalizing” behaviour.
- How would you feel to say your wish/dream aloud?
- What do you feel this is telling you?
- How would you feel to share it with the closest people in your life? Who would you choose to tell it to?
- What do you feel this is telling you?
When the client experiences blockages to verbalize/share the wish:
- Where do you feel this blockage comes from?
- What would you like to do about it?
- How would you feel if this blockage didn't exist?
When the client feels ready to verbalize/share the wish:
- How would you like to do that?
- How did it feel saying your wish aloud?
- How can you use the energy from this step in your future plans?
- How often and how long do you feel you need to share this?
- How did it feel to share it with your closes friends and family?
- What is it that you can learn from it?
- What do you feel that you can/need to do next?
