A Coaching Model Created by Tina Smith
(Life Coach, UNITED KINGDOM)
The purpose of my model is to assist my clients ‘Revitalise’ their lives.
To revitalise means to: ‘Imbue something with new life and vitality’- Oxford Dictionary
Often we can get ‘stuck’ in the humdrum of life, working on what is in front of us and being ‘busy’, but really not getting anywhere – certainly not anywhere we consciously aim for. We tend to be reactive rather than proactive.
Many of my clients come to me because they are searching. But often they don’t know what for. All they know is that they are discontent with one, or many aspects of their lives and don’t know what to do about it. Or even if they can do anything about it. The ‘searching’ is the first step – an acknowledgment that they have a desire for something different.
Using the Revitalise Coaching Model allows my clients to apply a process to their ‘busy’. Busy is great if it is achieving progress in the desired direction, but if you don’t consciously decide on the direction, your efforts can be wasted.
The broader context – Life Long Learning Spiral
My model is not just a circle, but an upwardly moving spiral, as each cycle is complete the process begins again and again building mindfulness, awareness and understanding of self always building on the previous work done.
I have come to see this process as an evolution of self, which moves us from a perplexed state of confusion about what we really want, to an enlightened state. I have gleaned this by analysing the process I have undergone myself through coaching and the process I have seen my clients undertake when participating in regular coaching.
It is it is important to realise that we are all somewhere on my life long learning concept spiral, we move up and down it depending on many things, but I see coaching as a supported spin around this spiral by consciously moving through the five pillars of my model (reflect, reconnect, refocus, recommit and do it!).
There is a micro and macro version of my model.
In micro the model is a decision making process – something we subconsciously go through many times in our day.
In macro the model is a life-planning tool that can help lend perspective to our hopes and dreams and ground them in action planning
The components of my model
Self
Self is the core to my model; this is the most important part, as self-discovery is central to the coaching journey. It is all about you!
I would like to use myself as an example here to explain more deeply about ‘self” My concept of ‘self’ and the change that occurred to me during coaching is best described in the diagram below. I noticed a large shift in my perception of self, and have observed similar shifts within my clients.
Exploration of ‘self’
In reflecting on my journey I identified 6 aspects of my ‘self’
- Gratitude & Love
- Determination & persistence
- Creativity & integrity
- Inner peace and contentment
- Knowledge of my potential
- Belief in self
I had experienced a haze of turmoil, uncertainty, reluctance, indecisiveness and fear around some aspects of my ‘self’ before I found coaching. I felt exhausted from striving, never thinking I knew enough, never thinking I was enough. Through undertaking coaching I discovered a new knowledge of my ‘self’. Coaching can change the way you look at the world. Self-awareness is the foundation of coaching.
The 5 pillars
The pillars surrounding ‘self’ are there to support the client on an inward journey to revitalise and recapture what it is most desired by the ‘self’ and to establish strategies that will allow growth of self to continue, with periodic support after coaching.
- Reflect
We spend so much time looking forward and are busy ‘doing’. Here it is time to ponder who you are, what you have done in your life so far and to acknowledge how much you have already achieved. This first pillar is designed with exercises to make you think hard about who you are and what you are proud of about yourself. It is important to take the time to celebrate what we have already achieved. Some of the questions pondered in this stage are;
- What am I good at?
- What am I proud of?
- What am I passionate about?
- What do I love?
- What is working and what isn’t?
- How can I best celebrate?
- Reconnect
Here it is time to look at what makes you who you are – what makes you unique?
What are the things you find important and what have you found helps you to remember this when you are upset, overwhelmed or exhausted? What grounds you and helps you push through when times are tough? This second pillar is designed with exercises to connect deeply with who you are. Some of the questions pondered in this stage are;
- What do I value?
- What is important to me?
- What do I need?
- What is necessary for me to be the best version of myself that I can be?
- Refocus
Once we have established where you are in your life and what you value, it is here we refocus to delve into what you really want to get out of your life. It is time to dream. Even if you think the dream is too big – dare to dream it now and you might be surprised what you are able to achieve, one step at a time. Think big – what do you want and what is stopping you going for it. This third pillar is designed with exercises to help you create a vision of the future you want and to help identify barriers and strategies to overcome them. Some of the questions pondered in this stage are;
- What is it I want?
- What do I see in my future?
- What is holding me back?
- What are my barriers to moving forward?
- Recommit
Having worked on your vision of what you really want (don’t worry if it isn’t crystal clear yet – this will evolve as you continue to focus on it and move to action) it is now time to start planning how you will get what you want. Knowing where you are now and where you want to get to allows you to now break the tasks down into smaller chunks that won’t seem so daunting. This fourth pillar is designed for action planning and (SMART) goal setting. Some of the questions pondered in this stage are;
- What is my plan?
- Have I written it down?
- Have I set a timeframe?
- What am I scared of?
- Who can I ask for feedback?
- Who can I ask for help?
- Know it doesn’t need to be perfect
- Do it!
With a good plan established it is time to take the action you have committed to. This may be difficult to begin with, but it will become easier. If you can’t take the action you want to, break it down to even smaller chunks until you can move forward. The process of change is all about movement, taking small sometimes almost imperceptible steps, in the direction that you wish to go and accepting that sometimes there will be steps backward.
It is important to recognise that sometimes we will slip back into old patterns of behaviour. You may experience fear, doubt and anxiety about the future and feel as if you have failed. That is a coach is there for, to hold your vision of the future and to show you that these backward steps are all part of the process.
Without embracing vulnerability and taking that brave first step into the unknown– change cannot happen – for anyone.
Reflect
And now the process begins again. We reflect on what worked and what didn’t and we acknowledge a new state of awareness about who we are and what we want. As before, pillar one is about thinking hard about who you are and how much you have already achieved. It is important to take the time to celebrate success. Some of the questions pondered in this stage are;
- Evaluate - what worked and what didn’t?
- What have I learnt?
- Accept acknowledgment from yourself and others.
- What needs to happen to keep change sustainable?
- Remember why you chose this path.
- How can I best celebrate my success?
The development of the model
The Revitalise Coaching Model was originally designed for the primary care givers of young children in mind. However I have found that it is adaptable to many other situations. It can work equally well with anyone who has lost sight of their dreams and goals and feels they are not getting what they want out of life. I have worked with many Mums who have become so overwhelmed in their role as a parent and the expectations of others that they feel they have lost their own identity.
The Revitalise Coaching Model honours the wisdom of the client and gives them the time and space to define what they want in the next phase of their life and the tools to plan the next steps to realise that vision.
The model was designed for and tested within a group coaching environment. The model and exercises used are equally helpful for individual coaching and can be adapted according to an individual clients needs.
This is a living document that will grow and change over time. As always I am sincerely grateful for any feedback offered to improve my model.