Coaching Model: Say Your Wish

A Coaching Model Created by Frosina Mitrovska
(Personal Development Coach, NETHERLANDS)

People’s wishes and desires are like the blossom on the fruit trees in spring. They are premonitions of the fruit they will produce. People have exactly those capacities they need to fulfil their wishes. Like fruit trees have the ability to produce fruit, people are able to fulfil their wishes. In nature, there is a determined path that leads from blossom to fruit and from seed to harvest. There also is a path from a wish to reality (Marinus Knoppe)

My coaching model, “Say your wish”, is a motivational and goal-oriented model that enables people to explore, see, verbalize, internalize and realize their dreams. Wishes (dreams or desires) can be defined as any small or big change a person wishes to change, achieve or is striving towards. From wishing for different daily habits to dreaming for a different life and new challenges.

The power element in my coaching model is the Verbalization. This one will be further explained in my Power tool paper: “Keeping in” vs Verbalizing.

My personal journey of development inspires this model, the ongoing search for who I am, what my dreams are. In a very challenging period of my life, following multiple therapy and coaching sessions, I was challenged by a friend of mine to verbalize what exactly was that I wanted to achieve in that moment of my life. She guided me through the Spiral of Creation (process defined by Marinus Knoope, 1989), in which the expressing of the wish is one of the 12 crucial steps in the process of creation.

I can still clearly remember the moment when she asked me to verbalize my wish. That took me by surprise. The common focus during all coaching and therapy sessions was always on finding out the “What” and the “Why“. However, even in moments when I truly knew what I wished for/dreamed of/desired, I was most of the time blocked on that one step. The moment of verbalizing my wish and sharing it with the world, aloud. Out of fear of judgment, or even superstitiously based fears that if I say my wish aloud, I will destroy it. As tricky and confronting that moment was, I also will never forget how it made me feel once I decided to let those words come out of me.

I shared my dream with the world; I let it all out of me. I felt free, empowered and motivated. I realized many of my wishes and desires were stopped there by my fears. Therefore, from the moment I decided to pursue my coaching education, I also decided that verbalizing will be (one of) the power elements in my coaching model and practice. Supporting my clients in the process of learning the power they hold and speaking out their truth.

Wishing

Every one of us holds a wish. From the tiniest wish to the most grandiose ones – we wake up to realize our wishes every day. Everyone can relate to the following: “I wish I would wake up earlier every day; I wish I could start sporting (again); I wish I had better work-life balance; I wish I could be happier; I wish I could find more time for myself; I wish I had a different job etc”. I wish, I wish, I wish. Behind every life question, or challenge, lies a wish.

In my practice as a coach and with my model, I want to be the support line that enables people to realize their power in exploring and making their wishes come true.

The following questions will be critical instruments in this phase of exploring the wish and the reasons for the client to pursue coaching:

What is it that you wish?
What is the purpose of this exploration?
What will mean to you having this wish becoming a reality?

Exploring the now

This stage is about supporting the client to explore and understand the reality and the circumstances he/she is living/working/functioning in. It is about: exploring the place where they are; the reason behind for their wish; what they feel they wish to change, the effort that has (or not) been done before in order to change. Through this exploration, people often easily see why they wish for what they wish, and in some cases, their view on the wish might get reframed. Frequently things seem more significant and more complicated than they are, so the client must-see for him/herself what is the exact reality that he/she is dealing with and how can that help in the process of making the wish come true.

Saying the Wish

All steps of my model (and all other coaching models available) hold a power that helps the client to get a step closer to what they wish. In my model, I like to call this step, The Power step. Because of the power that words can have when verbalized. First, hearing for themselves (the client) how their wish sounds when said aloud. Second, sharing it with the world. “World” is defined as small, or as big as they feel it should. This is left up to the client to decide. Who, how and when is she/he going to share their wish with.

The main question to ask:

How does it make you feel when you hear yourself saying your wish aloud?
How does it feel to share it with others?

The feelings that arise from this can either accelerate the client in the process of making plans and actions towards making the wish reality. In some cases, it is fair to accept that; this might also bring emotions that will ask for taking a step back and revisiting the starting wish. If a client doesn’t feel positive, motivated and elevated by the action of sharing the wish, he/she can decide to look into the reasons behind it.

Committing and planning to act (to achieve the wish)

After the client has spoken out, what the wish for change is, what he/she wants to achieve, work for, strive for – the commitment has also been made. It is up to the client, with the support of the coach, to start planning the steps towards making the wish a new reality. Acting upon the commitment (while continuously sharing the wish with the world) The client takes the actions as set by her/himself to achieve the desired wish/dream/change. The success of the action depends on the level of dedication and belief the client will invest. The coach is there to demonstrate support and faith in the capabilities of the client and be the sounding board during the process – if and when requested by the client). The ultimate responsibility and accountability lie in the hands of the client.