A Coaching Power Tool created by Neena Verma
(Leadership Coaching, Team Coaching, Transformational Coaching, INDIA)
The essence of Time is Flow, not Fix. The growing man is Man Alive, and his “philosophy” must grow, must flow with him.
There are times when we feel fully and acceptantly in sync with the experience happening to us. These are times when we are in the here & now of what is happening, we feel immersed in the moment, mindful & fully present to what is emerging, without pre-conceptions or agenda to ‘fix’ it.
In such instances, the mind is making no/little interference and our potential begins to flow in abundance. Such a state is not pursued, it ensues … when we loosen up and let ourselves be. We feel and become fully alive & conscious in an unconscious way. What ensues is a sense of effortlessness and we see ourselves witnessing our flourish with a quiet harmony inside. When we are in this state, time feels timeless.
And there are times when we are fully in command of the experience/situation we are in, and yet we feel so out of control. The moment & the unfolding experience pass us by, even as we remain occupied with influencing there & then outcome. The mind is on an over-drive, interfering a lot, and we tend to feel doubtful ofours/others’ potential/efforts/worthiness.
On such occasions, we notice what is happening with a filtered mind, riddled with preconceptions, doubts, fears, reservations, and we tend to get into an over-drive to fix. We become conscious & cautious of ourselves, others &/or situation. We fret, fume, get flustered. Paradoxically we don’t recognize it in our own selves, but see it in others & project our own dark side onto them. When we are in this state, time feels timed.
Flow versus Fixate
Freud delved deep on the process of fixation. According to him, it is like water would flow with natural ease from higher to lower pressure. But when it is obstructed by boulders or there are crevices & depressions on the way, either the water accumulates silt (wading through boulders) or collects in hidden/stagnant puddles, eventually losing its flow & pure quality. Water in this analogy represents psychological energy.
The times when our life-energy get obstructed, leaked or diverted (by boulders & crevices of doubts, fears, negativ judgments … whether by ourselves or others) ; our psyche tends to get stuck (occupied/obsessed) with a particular event/person/aspect of life. We tend to feel knotted inside and worry about ‘what will be’. We become interested in predicting & trying to manage the outcome, even as we remain blind to the process unfolding in front of us.
In contrast the times when our life-energy is flowing naturally with ease (on natural course of unconsciously aware, congruent & acceptant Self), we feel calm & healthy inside. We feel a sense of wonder about ‘whatever will be’ and get into a state of natural flourish.
C. JoyBell explains this contrast so eloquently …
There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! … And you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it!
The natural human instincts when caught in a tough situations are … fight with anger, entitlement ; take flight out of sadness, aversion ; or freeze numb with fear. These are reactive instincts. They happen, not because we want them to happen, but because these are programmed as our default behaviours. Yes, default behaviours ! These reactive instincts & default behaviours drive us to an impulse to fixate.
And then there is a creative human instinct, which happens by choice, not by default. It is .. flow with the stimulus, live fully in the brief invisible pause between stimulus & response and allow the response to unfold mindfully.