CS – What is in your mind today?
C– Yesterday I was coaching and I had a conversation with one of the coachees of the group coaching session and it made something inside me.
CS- What did it make?
C- I am not good enough, I am not a good coach. I asked my self why it happened with me and my own answer was because I am not a good coach. If I am a good enough coach, why is the coachee reacting that way?
CS- What do you think happened there?
C- Maybe the coachee is sensitive about judgement. I am wondering what my role was in the situation. Maybe the people see me like that.
C- They read your reaction. Maybe I act in a way and they read it in a different way.
CS- What can you learn from this situation?
C– Take care about what you are saying, especially when you are coaching people.
There are obstacles
“I am not good enough”
CS How is all this making you feel?
C I am not good enough coach
I need to work on myself
CS- What do you need to work on yourself?
C Release judgement
Listen more than talk
Notice the people and understand the people. I did not do anything, I tried to be very friendly with the coachee
CS How can you make this experience serve you?
C I have to be careful
CS How does “Coach” being careful looks like?
C How I talk to people when I am coaching. It recalled me of something
CS What did it recall you of?
I have some attitude that people are not accepting. My way to people is wrong, everywhere I go I get a problem
CS What do you think is happening?
C I do not know
I have to be honest with myself, one of the reasons I left my job was that I had an attitude with them, but I am not conscious that I have an attitude
CS Describe your attitude
C Yesterday I am conscious
CS What do you think happened there?
C I think the coachee is not understanding me, maybe the coachee needs… maybe the coachee has doubts on its own self and thinks everything is pointing to itself. This is something provoked. The coachee was already angry when the coachee arrived to the group coaching session
CS What would you do differently?
C Keep smiling and talking in the training, ask the coachee how he/she was and continue talking the training
It is bad experience
CS What was bad about it?
C How the coachee thinks about me
How coachee treated me and reacted in front of the group
CS What is your biggest worry?
C How disrespectful the coachee was
I felt no respect
My high need is respect
CS What are you realising here?
C If I could see it from the outside, I would be empathetic with myself (with the coach). Maybe the coach is wrong on the way the coach talked. Maybe I provoked the coachee.
What I am afraid of is that my attitude is one of the reasons
I am worried about the perception of the people who were at the group coaching session and also that the owner of the coaching institute will know what happened there.
This is also my fear, after what the coachee said to me.
I ask myself deep inside, I ask myself, do I feel I was judging the coachee?
One on one releasing judgement.
CS What are you gaining from this conversation?
C I maybe hold some judgement for the coachee
unconsciously I am judging the coachee and consciously I do not want to judge the coachee. (Silence)
CS How can you achieve that?
C Stop judging myself.
I am not good enough
I can not release the judgement for people untill I release the judgement for myself.
CS How can you achieve that?
C Maybe self talk
CS What about the self talk?
C When I am telling myself “I am not a good coach” stop it
CS What else can you do?
C Start to put a good talk
CS What good message do you want to give to yourself?
C I am good
I am a good coach
I have to continue my coaching journey
I got my certificates
I have the training
I have the motivation
I am working on my requirements
I have a lot of energy
The situation broke my energy
I have decided to write a paper on it
CS How do you want to approach it on your paper?
It is part of me everywhere
CS What do you want to do with that self-doubt?
C No more self-doubt
I do not want for people to affect me, I want to protect myself
CS How do you want to close this session?
C Maybe judgement for person
Maybe the coachee got the message with no words
Maybe to reflect what I think without feeling
If I want to be a good coach, I need to release judgement
I think it is a growth area opportunity
CS What are you thankful for this session?
C Understand myself more
I now see my role
Before, I could not see my role
I had a question making myself
CS How do you see your role?
C Deep inside I judge the coachee and they can feel it even if I am not talking
If the coachee would not feel it the coachee would not get like that.
I am not the reason the coachee is angry, the coachee came angry.
But I am judging the coachee deep inside, I judge the coachee.
CS How are you feeling now?
When you understand yourself
You connect with yourself
I am aware of myself
I am aware of myself for next experience
Source of Coaching Supervision framework:
International Coaching Federation (ICF) website