A Coaching Power Tool Created by Rizk Mawass
(Life Coach, LEBANON)
You can only have two things in life, reasons and results. Reasons don’t count. Robert Anthony
Reasons are the excuses of failure. There are always reasons why we didn’t achieve. However, we only need one reason in order to create results.
Reasons can be constructive or destructive; our own perception will determine their impact.
When you have a clear reason why you want to succeed in a specific area, it’s very enough to drive your way and reach the desired destination. However, when you are not convinced deeply why you want to achieve such development in the specific area, then it will be very easy to slip away and start focusing on the reasons why it didn’t work to justify yourself and give control to the situation instead of being fully responsible.
If you really want to make a change then you have to forget all reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will.
Instead of giving reasons why you can’t, look at reasons why you can. You have to shift your focus from being negative and unproductive, to being positive and start making improvement.
Playing the blame game, is like giving the key of your life to the wind of the circumstances, people, or the weak part of you. Blaming is like watching the sunset and complaining that it’s too early for the day to end, instead of investing the day before it ends. So don’t convince yourself of all the reasons why it didn’t work. Taking responsibility for your own actions can be freeing and energizing because you don’t waste time making excuses. You need to be responsible instead of blaming.
For example if you want to lose weight and then you blame the weather for not running, or blaming the people around for not being supportive or blaming your mother for cooking fat food. So it’s time to check your own reasons until you find the one that is enough to make your diet successful.
Talking about results Roz Fruchtman mastered the concept when he said:
When you start doing things for the right reasons, the result you seek will begin to happen naturally.
When your reason is weak then it’s very easy to lose sight of your aim.
One good reason why it might work is enough to fight all other reasons why it may not work. Blame will limit your growth because you are looking backward and discussing why it went wrong instead of learning and using the lesson to make it happen in the future by taking actions in the present.
Giving reasons and excuses are symptoms that you were trying. It means that you are not committed to go for it and your own reasons were not enough to drive you for achievement.
It’s also a matter of trust for yourself and your values. You don’t trust that you can achieve results, you don’t believe enough in yourself so you give power to reasons and excuses to hide behind.
You have to trust yourself and keep your promises while fighting all reasons to make results. For example, if you want to save money and you always find excuses why you need to spend more, it means that you are not convinced to save money. Every time you put off doing what you say or make excuses for not doing it, you are destroying your self-trust.
Trust in yourself will bring you results. Doubt will flood you with reasons.
People are jammed in their circumstances, because they believe that many reasons are preventing them from being who they want to be or from achieving what they wish to achieve. The perspective is a victim mode where they feel minor in the situation. They are giving the external circumstances power over their lives. In contrast successful people just care about results, because there are always reasons why it can’t be done but you have to be the only reason why it can be done.
Here is a wonderful story told by Jim Rhon who is one of the best inspirational speakers about how we can turn the reasons into opportunities if we really have a desire to bring results.
Two men wake up one morning and there’s a rain storm on. The one looks out and says ‘Wow, what a storm! With weather like this they can’t expect you to go out and make sales.’ He stays home. Same morning, the other guy looks out – same rain, same storm – and says ‘Wow, what a storm! With weather like this, what a great day to go out and make sales! Most everybody will be home – especially the salesmen!’
This story emphasizes that you can’t control the circumstances. However, you can control your perception and how to invest the situation instead of complaining and counting the reasons. So as Jimmy Dean said:
I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
Results have the power to create the change you desire, results are the new outcomes of the transformation you are seeking, results are the new behaviour of the new life you are creating, and results are the power you will enjoy due to the efforts you are investing. And as Andy Roddick said:
At one point in your life you either have the things you want or the reasons why you don’t.
Because results will separate the talkers from the doers.
And Peter Drucker was very clear when he said:
there are two types of people: those who produce results and those who give you reasons why they didn’t.
So you have to lose all your excuses in order to find results. There is always a story behind failure but there is also a result behind success. You have all necessary resources to achieve your desire, you have your wisdom, you have your abilities, your skills, your experiences, your learning, your desire and finally your reason why you want such result so as Amit Kalantri said once:
Resources are hired to give results not reasons.
It’s greatly understandable that sometimes unpleasant things happen surprisingly so let’s learn from Brain Tracy who described this concept in his famous phrase:
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.
Allowing circumstances to drive your destiny is your action of laziness where you are watching your life driven away by the reasons that you are memorizing to count them later in order to justify yourself and hide from being responsible of your destiny. If time used on counting excuses is used to find solutions then you are half way to different results.
All great successful people know this very well and Les Brown who had extremely painful circumstances was able to reach results instead of counting his reasons where he noted:
Just because Fate doesn’t deal you the right cards, it doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you have to play the cards you get to their maximum potential.
In other words, you can respond instead of reacting in tough situations because your reason to stand up is bigger than your reasons to fall down.
Find the reasons, lose the excuses and gain the results.
When you are not aligned with your deepest values, then it’s very easy to lose your balance by the baskets of excuses that will be your justification of failure.
Reasons are all around; you decide to use them to protect your Ego. The best way to empower yourself is to stay in the driving seat of your life, even if circumstances were not supportive, never give them the power of your destiny, it’s always up to you to decide where to drive your life and reasons are your challenges, your obstacles in the road way where only those who deserve what’s beyond will reach it.
You will never reach your destination If you want to stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.
Winston Churchill knows very well that commitment to create results can never allow for reasons to stop you.
A wonderful real example about how results can be reached when commitment is the drive and how reasons can be opportunities for people to rise.
A 10-year-old boy decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.
The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move. “Sensei,”(Teacher in Japanese) the boy finally said,
Shouldn’t I be learning more moves?
The “sensei” replied:
This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know.
Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.
Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.
This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the sensei intervened. “No,” the sensei insisted, “Let him continue.” Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament.
He was the champion. On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.
“Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”
“You won for two reasons,” the sensei answered.
“First, you’ve almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo.
And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm.”
It’s your choice either you Sit and Cry
Or you decide to Rise so High.
At the end, it’s up to you to choose to be victim or victor, you decide.
My own Approach as a coach will focus on the reason of the client, WHY he wants to make the change, in order to check if this reason is enough to bring results. As well, to support him how to face the other reasons on the way of his Success. So we will check together what’s blocking him from creating results.
- How can you benefit from your reasons and turn them into opportunities?
- I heard you mentioning the reasons why you couldn’t do it, so what are your reasons why you could do it?
- What are your driving reasons to achieve the mentioned result?
- How could you overcome your reasons to achieve your results?
- Why your reasons are stronger than your results?
- How your reasons are preventing you from achieving your results?
- What would you like to do to defeat your reasons?