Take the habit of setting an intention when you start any activities in your day – it can be just to enjoy the present moment, to learn something, to get some clarity, to act with mindfulness…
By practicing “living with intention”, you will free yourself of trying to fulfil your expectations. You will fully live you present!
Reflection
- Can you recall situations where your attachment to the results was responsible of stress, anxiety and fear of failure? How did you feel? How did you react?
- Recall any moments where you set expectations and did not meet them. How did you feel? How did you react?
- Think about expectations you have about yourself and about others. Think about expectations you might have about life itself, or about how some particular aspect of life is supposed to work. How these expectations serve you?
- How do you know when you are tied to your expectations?
- Can you think of any moments when you were more focusing on the intention of doing rather than on the expected outcome? How did you feel in this situation?
- What benefits do you see in being detached from results and outcomes? How would you feel if you were not attached to specific outcomes? How could you let go of your expectations?
- What benefits do you see in living with intention?
- What are you intending for NOW? What is your intention in reading this document?
- How do you bring your intentions to actions?
- Identify 5 actions you can take to support you to live with intention.
Coaching application
How to manage the client’s and our own expectations as a coach regarding the coaching relationship?
At the beginning of the coaching process, when we establish the coaching relationship with our client, sharing mutual expectations helps establish continuity and trust, agreements and framework for the work that is mutually undertaken.
We need to be aware to commit only to client’s expectations we can manage, expectations that depend only on us, neither on the client nor on external circumstances ie. honesty, respect, safe and non judgmental environment, confidentiality… It will prevent any misunderstanding or disappointment and frustration to our client during the coaching alliance.
It is also important for us as coaches to be clear on our own expectations and evaluate if these expectations are supporting the partnership we are creating with our client or if it would be more beneficial to let them go and engage in this relationship with intentions.
How can we help our clients to shift from a disempowering state of expectations to living with intentions?
Coaching is about helping clients to move forward by supporting them to overcome obstacles, living in the moment, bringing more positive thoughts and beliefs, and hence positive energy into their lives by reframing and shifting their perspective.
How can we help client to get free of disempowering expectations and enjoy the present moment in living with intentions?
A 4-steps process is proposed:
- Create self-awareness: help the client to be aware of his expectations
- Change perspective: help the client to understand intentions vs expectations and choose to let go of his expectations
- Support the client’s self-discovery to identify his core values, desires, dreams and life purpose to set meaningful intentions.
- Take actions: support the client to set meaningful intentions and practice daily intentions
Life is a journey, not a destination! The process of reaching, therefore, becomes more important than the event of arriving
Jagdish Parikh – Managing your self: management by detached involvement
Reflections
- Why is it important to manage clients’ expectations while establishing the coaching contract?
- How can you manage client expectations concerning the coaching relationship? How do you manage your own expectations?
- How do you know that a client is tied by his expectations?
- How can you help him to be aware of disempowering expectations?
- How to support a client to move from living by expectation to living with intention? What coaching tools could you use?
References and Inspirations
Visual Thesaurus – www.visualthesaurus.com
Oxford dictionary
Managing your self: management by detached involvement – Jagdish Parikh