How do you know when you are disempowered by our expectations?
Create awareness; be attentive to some situations like when you are:
- struggling in a situation, not feeling satisfied because it’s not turning out “as expected,”
- telling ourselves that “it is not enough”, “I am not going to make it”
- experiencing negative emotions such as fear, stress, anxiety, disappointment
- using the language of expectations such as “I have to do that”, “I need to”, “it should be this way”, “she is supposed to”
Ask yourself if you are attached to a specific outcome in these situations. Then identify your expectations and examine them: Are these expectations serving you? Are they supporting you in achieving your ultimate goal?
How to let go of your expectations? How to detach yourself from the outcome?
Once you are aware of your expectations and you have acknowledged them, you have a choice: keep these disempowering expectations or let them go. If you choose to let go your expectations, you choose the power of the present.
- Let go of your ideas of how things/people should be. A “ceremony” might be helpful in order to physically act out the letting go of expectations. Write all of your expectations down on a slip of paper and then burn them, let the ashes blow away. Even visualizing this could already help to let them go.
- Practice mindfulness to be fully in the moment and detach yourself from any expected future
- Accept uncertainty and lack of control as an inherent part of your experience. In your willingness to accept things as they occur, solutions can spontaneously appear.
- Remain open to all possibilities and enjoy every moment in the journey of your life – be in the present moment
- Change your language: each time you catch yourself using the language of expectations, change it to the language of intention. Anytime, you are attached to the outcome, release it and live with intention. So using statement as “I want to”, I decide to”, “I choose to” vs “I have to”, “It should be”… will allow you to live with intention and regain our power.
How to live with intentions?
Filling with intentions the space left by your expectations will shift your attention from results to efforts, from target to process and from destination to journey.
You will release your energy from the “fear of losing” to “the joy of doing”!
Having clarity about your values, your desires, and your life purpose can support you to set meaningful intentions. You might wish to start by this self-discovery step.
But, It is not just about setting intentions and then forget about them; it is all about living them every day. It is about practicing; affirming daily your intentions and reaffirming them when you catch yourself attached a specific result.
Take a few minutes first thing in the morning when you wake up, to set an intention and to visualize and sense yourself practicing.