A Coaching Power Tool Created by Jennifer Shinkai
(Executive Coach, JAPAN)
How often do you hear comments like this from your client?
“If I delegate it, then it won’t be as good as if I do it myself.
But I feel so overwhelmed and busy all the time.”
“If I don’t do it myself, it will take longer. It’s easier for me just to do it myself than teach my team member to do it. I don’t have time to bring them up to speed”
Our client is facing the contradiction between a desire to control and a desire to be free
Definitions
To Control: to direct behaviour, to dominate, to cause to do what you want
To Free: to release something from an undesirable or restrictive form,
Freedom: the state of not being imprisoned
Coaching Application
Questions to Ask Regarding Control vs. Freedom:
- How do you feel physically about the responsibilities you have right now?
- How would it feel to be totally free?
- What is the worst that could happen if you gave up control in this situation?
- How likely is it that this would happen?
- If it did happen what would it take you to get yourself back to your current state? (eg time, money, energy)
These questions focus on allowing the client to explore if the level of control they are currently exerting or aiming for is necessary
Questions Regarding Clients Goals and Values:
- How is this need for control supporting you in your goals?
- What could you do if you were free of this task/ situation? How would it give you more time to move to your goal?
