A Coaching Power Tool Created by Ivana Krcivoj
(Life Coach, CROATIA)
Coaches can use different tools during the coaching process. In the context we are exploring here, power tool is designed in a way to powerfully shift the client’s perspective.
Perspective is the way we see the world. It is the way we think and perceives what is happening to us.
Some perspectives serve us and some don’t. The main point is to discover what is not serving us and shift it into the empowering perspective. Being able to shift the perspectives is truly a power tool.
Deep self-reflection and powerful questioning play a key role in this process.
While creating my power tool, I came to the realization that:
If we want to live consciously, it is essential to reach a certain level of clarity. And from that clarity, next steps will arise.
Exploring further, I was wondering what can be truly supportive of anyone who feels stuck or lost in some moments. We all have those kinds of moments while making big or small decisions.
And from the coaching point of view – clients sometimes simply want clarity as an outcome of the coaching session. Clarity is powerful.
Clarity is like a wind in our back – it gives us the impulse to move forward.
In this power tool, you will be invited to deepen your understanding of what is clarity and what is chaos. The techniques mentioned in this power tool are only my suggestion. Discover what works for you the best. That being said, the most important part of this power tool is reflection – give yourself some time to connect with the meaning of Clarity vs. Chaos.
This power tool is meant to be an inspiration and a guide
for anyone who wants to step from chaos to clarity.
What is Clarity?
Definition by Cambridge Dictionary:
- the quality of being certain or definite
- the ability to think clearly and not be confused
Clarity is like a safe space in which thoughts are clear, the heart is open and mind knows the way. We all have that clear “space” inside of us. Just sometimes the surface gets messy. A bit chaotic.
We are like the ocean. The surface of the ocean is our mind and ocean’s depth is our essence – the Soul.
Even when there are waves on the surface, deep inside the ocean is still calm.
Our thoughts are the waves. And inside of us, there is stillness. Always.
Our only task is to realize we have this ability and use it.
Clarity enables clear vision and brings brightness. When we have clarity, we feel confident. When we feel confident, we can take further steps to design the life we truly enjoy.
Clarity can harmonize life in various ways. It brings you to balance, strengthens self-acceptance and self-love. Gives you confidence.
On the colourful journey of personal growth, we seek clarity about who we are, what we do, what is our vision, what are our goals.
And achieving our goals makes us feel successful.
Therefore, the conclusion is simple:
What is Chaos?
Definition by Cambridge Dictionary:
Chaos is a state of complete disorder and confusion.
Many times we find ourselves in unclear situations and then somehow our ability to think clearly easily disappeared. We find ourselves in a state of confusion. The Chaos.
At this point we need to remind what is a perspective –> it is the way we see the world.
In other word, if we will enter in the state of chaos it will only depend on how we see the situation. Perspective is created by our thoughts. And this is already a powerful realization because we know that we can control our thoughts.
We are the owners and the caretakers of our safe zones. The chaos will touch us only as much as we allow it to touch us. Once we are aware of that, we have made the first step on the road which leads to clarity. Easier said than done.
However, if a person wants to be happy, relaxed and live a purposeful life, then understanding and overcoming the chaotic state of mind is essential.
Examples of situations which can create chaotic thoughts:
- From simple grocery shopping to jeans shopping (especially for ladies J)
- Traffic jam
- Exam
- Important meeting at work
- Sensitive conversation with a partner or a family member or a friend
- Job change
- A new project or an old project reaching the deadline
- Preparation for travelling
- Studying
- ….Feel free to continue the list
Continuing the list by yourself may help you to deepen the awareness of various situations that bring chaos into your life.
Sometimes we plan even up to the smallest details. And then it happens differently. Ups. It goes somehow like this.
Self-application
After reflecting on what is clarity and what is chaos, we could see that chaos comes from our thoughts. When we get overwhelmed actually we are overthinking. Unorganized thoughts are creating chaos.
To gain clarity it is recommended to use techniques which are creating a calmer state of mind.
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Knowing Your Value
Often we forget who we are, how valuable we are. Mostly we focus on what is missing, rather than on what we have and what we accomplished.
Discover your values, your strengths and learn how to acknowledge them. It is empowering and life-changing!
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Meditation
Meditation is focusing your full attention on one thing. There are many techniques of meditation. You can choose the one which resonates with you the most. Even simply sitting in silence and breathing consciously is enough to calm the mind. The goal is to silence your thoughts and not pay attention to them. Then your inner-self, your essence, can „speak“.
Whichever meditation technique you choose, give yourself time.
Be patient and gentle with yourself while starting with this divine practice.
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Gratitude
Being grateful is a powerful tool by itself. It is one of the most beautiful experiences we can have. I would recommend the well-known technique of gratitude journaling. Or simply having grateful thoughts. It will make miracles for your life and for the lives of people around you.
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Forgiveness
Forgiveness is another miraculous process when we are consciously letting go of what is not serving us. We become grateful for the experience and learning. Forgiving is a deep and powerful process which creates an amazing feeling of lightness.
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Spending time in nature
In modern times, most of us have lost the connection with nature. We are running between buildings and forgetting the sounds of nature…Forgetting the sound of stillness…From time to time give yourself the gift of spending time in nature, without a mobile phone. Allow yourself to connect with nature.
Reflection on self-application
Below is the set of questions to smoothen the transition from chaos to clarity.
- What is clarity for you?
- How does it look like when you have clarity?
- What is chaos for you?
- How does it look like when you are in a chaotic situation?
- What would it look like for you if you would choose clarity over chaos?
- What is your favourite mindfulness technique? How do you practice it?
- What tip would you give to your friend who is having chaotic moments?
- What are the behaviours you demonstrate when you are in the state of chaos?
- How can having clarity increase your self-confidence?
- What do you value about yourself?
- Discover your strengths – for example, by using this test: https://high5test.com/
Coaching application
One of the most valuable gifts that coaches can give to their clients is the safe space of emotional stillness. In that space, the client can truly expand and transform.
Coaches support their clients to create clarity. We can also say that coaching is visionary because it is supporting the client to move forward toward their vision. To see that vision, clarity is essential.
As coaches, we need to be aware of our own level of clarity. When being in the place of stillness, a coach can offer to the client a safe space of trust. To be able to hold that space for a client throughout the session, the coach needs to be mindful, calm and genuinely present.
Coaching questions
Powerful questioning is one of the core coaching competencies. Through powerful questioning, the client can shift their perspectives and transform the mindset.
There is no recipe for those great questions. Powerful questions arise from deep, powerful listening.
Below are only some examples of coaching questions. Sometimes those questions are actually very simple, yet truly thought-provoking.
And coaching is all about that – to challenge our clients and support them in their transformational journey.
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What is clarity for you? What is chaos for you?
We all have our own perception of clarity/chaos; it is important to understand the client's perspective on this. By asking that kind of simple questions we are avoiding confusion and offering non-judgmental space to our clients.
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How can have clarity support you in this situation?
It is important to connect the impact of the situation with the client. Who the client is in that situation? How does the situation impact the client?
- How does
having clarity make you feel?
Coaching is about a holistic approach. We are connecting emotional, mental, spiritual and physical aspects of human nature. That is the reason why through coaching we also explore how the client feels in certain situations. These types of questions may not work smoothly with all clients (if a person is more mind-oriented, maybe it will not be connected easily with emotions). However, with some clients, it will make a great impact because they are well connected with their emotional nature. Use your coaching intuition J
Reflection on coaching application
- How does having clarity support you to progress in your coaching practice?
- What structures are you going to put in place to make sure that you have clear intentions before the coaching session?
- How can you support your client when you notice that they are experiencing chaos?
- What are some techniques that you can develop to remain “mindful” in challenging situations?
Conclusion
In life, we will always have episodes of chaos and clarity. We dance between those two states. As we grow, we learn how to gain clarity easier or, in other word, how to step out of the chaos faster.
Gaining clarity is about mastering our own mind – because chaos is happening only in our mind.
And eventually, it is all about practice.
When practising mindfulness, we are improving this magnificent ability called clarity.
By creating clarity we are ensuring that our life is joyful and prosperous.
