A Coaching Power Tool Created by Angie Perez
(Life Coach, COLOMBIA)
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18)
What is Ego?
The ego is the mind’s identity of our construction, a false identity (Tolle, 2012). It has become a state that society is currently identifying with. This is everything that arises from our thoughts that have been elaborating on the beliefs and customs of our culture in the past years. We have been repeating these patterns that have been teaching us to imitate a society that is blind and desperate to gain control of everything that belongs to the exterior. It means a society that needs labels to describe themselves and have the need to be part of something, to recognize themself as something that already exists and force it to fit on it(Tolle, 2012)
You create these labels, as a way to find a meaning for your life, identifying with it and feel that you belong to something, making you feel that you are part of a group, that honestly, it doesn’t describe you. When you start guiding your life in that path, you feel that’s the way you are and how you can describe yourself: “I am” “I have to” “I do”(Brown, 2017). Then, you think that you have to find reasons to explain to others why you are putting these labels, so you start fighting for that, making people believe that this is yours and it is what best defines you. But the ego, unfortunately, is not always satisfied and happy about what you are doing, so it begins to search for more and more. The recognition with the “I am” and the “I do”, are thoughts that we build from the outside, the external, and that makes the mind become a label or identification in others. Helping you to have a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment(Tolle, 2012). You identify yourself with your thoughts and with your mind, the ones that you have been creating thru the time, as if, letting your past create a character and the person you are now. The person you complain about, the one you don’t like, and the one you consider all the time that should improve or get better. These repetitive thoughts are separating you from your essence and who you are inside, at that point that you don’t have an idea what is happening around you (FIP, 1976). “The identification of the ego with things gives rise to attachment and economic structures where the only way to progress is always to have more” (Tolle, 2012) The ego tries to separate you from who you are, because it drives you the whole time to your thoughts that are generally aimed at the comparison with others, making you feel that you are different and superior to all those around you, and in this way, it tarnishes the acknowledgment that they are equal to you (Tolle, 2012). Don’t be afraid of the ego, you didn’t create it. It depends on your mind, just as you created him by believing in him. You can just, as well vanish him by taking responsibility for his creation, and likewise, the feelings of anger and resentment will go away. Well, these arise because you hold others responsible for your actions (Paramahansa, 1955). Some situations normally produce discomfort. The first thing that comes to you is a thought or a storm of thoughts, so you start to ruminating negatively: “I do not give more”, “what am I doing here”, “I’m not enough”, “I’m not good”. Then, you behave in a way that has become a global habit, you blame others, you complain, you attack, or justify yourselves; for everything you do. Making out of this a daily reaction for our survival, walking and guiding your life on autopilot. After all this, you start feeling some discomfort or pain in your body, and at that moment you start saying: I have a headache, I feel pressure on my chest, my back hurts, or I can’t sleep. So, you start looking for solutions outside, you try to find the best doctor who heals you and makes you the miracle of healing your body from pain, the body that only heals when you assume the responsibility for your life, and accepting absolutely everything around you, without doing any judgments(Tolle, 2012). Normally, when you visit doctors or healers, you are looking for peace and tranquility, but that’s your choice to find it and feel it, accepting all stressful situations from how they are, be responsible for it, and then, you should bring the behavior that will be consistent with that peace that adds to it, “sorry I’m wrong”, “well I’m going to solve it”, “what can I do, to be better?”. Bringing a consequence full of love, and it is the acceptance of others. (FIP, 1976).
Give and it will be given to you. They will receive a very tight and full measure Lucas 6, 38
The root of wealth is not on the outside, it is part of our interior(Tolle, 2012). For a week, try to give everything you expect to receive: compassion, love, understanding, or service. Ask yourself: what could I give in this situation?. Get away from the idea that giving is something material, giving is been grateful, giving is smiling back, seek, and identify with everything that has life. To have contact with everything that has life will give the power to feel your soul, for example, the sun gives you light, receive it and give that light to others, water quench thirst, give water to others, earth supports you and balances you, balance others, air gives you peace, give that peace to others. Become a giver. When you begin to give, you will begin to receive, and you will receive abundantly.
- What can I give today?
- When you wake up, ask yourself this question. Give and it is a way of giving thanks, of receiving the life that you have full of abundance.
How can I decrease my ego? When a person attacks you, criticizes you, or assaults you, do not do more than thank him, leave him a smile or remain silent, do nothing, just feel your interior. Of course, this does not say that you have to allow yourself to be a victim of abuse, sometimes it is important to react, but do not speak much, do not judge, respond short and forceful, and thus you will see how you continue to be connected with yourself(FIP, 1976).
How to stop being a victim? When we recognize that reality that is in forgiveness, our identity as a victim is dissolved, and it allows us to give way to the power of presence, now or in the present moment, bringing light and hope to our lives. What is ego? Ego is nothing, but it manifests itself in such a way that it seems to be something. In a world of forms, there is no denying the ego because only it seems real. Look at the opposite and you will find the only answer that makes sense.
You, Yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha
What is Love?
We are present when we feel that everything we do is guided by our interior, by an intrinsic motivation that brings us happiness, peace, and energy; not for a profit or an external purpose such as money or recognition. It is there when we leave the ego and follow our Heart, guiding our life with love Love is all that has life, it is that which connects you with the Heart, which leads you to give with compassion. By giving love, you receive love, and this immediately connects you to feel peace and tranquility. Every single day of your life work from love, giving it, serving others, so you will get that peace and tranquility that you have always been looking for, make it yours, and build it. Spend some time on that, don’t think about the way to get there, there are no rules or a perfect way to do it(FIP, 1976). As I said, Love is that state that brings you peace and tranquility, and the way to reach it is by reconciling yourself with the present moment, letting go and accepting your past, being present perceiving what is around you, discovering it without judging anything. Letting yourself go on a journey of beautiful sensations that your senses perceive, allowing you to live a unique and incomparable experience that can be lived in the Now(FIP, 1976).
- What kind of human being do you want to be?
- What are you going to do now?
- Whatisloveforyou? Now?
Self-application and Coaching application
I could see peace instead of this. (A Course of Miracles, Lesson 34)
The idea for today begins to describe the conditions that prevail in the other way of seeing. Peace of mind is an internal matter. It must begin with your thoughts and then extend outward. It is from your peace of mind that a peaceful perception of the world arises.
Three longer practice periods are required for today’s exercises. One in the morning and one in the evening are advised, with an additional one to be undertaken at any time in between that seems most conducive to readiness. All applications should be done with your eyes closed. It is your inner world to which the applications of today’s idea should be made.
Some five minutes of mind searching are required for each of the longer practice periods. Search your mind for fear thoughts, anxiety-provoking situations, “offending” personalities or events, or anything else about which you are harboring unloving thoughts. Note them all casually, repeating the idea for today slowly as you watch them arise in your mind, and let each one go, to be replaced by the next.
If you begin to experience difficulty in thinking of specific subjects, continue to repeat the idea to yourself in an unhurried manner, without applying it to anything in particular. Be sure, however, not to make any specific exclusions.
The shorter applications are to be frequent and made whenever you feel your peace of mind is threatened in any way. The purpose is to protect yourself from temptation throughout the day. If a specific form of temptation arises in your awareness, the exercise should take this form:
I could see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it.
If the inroads on your peace of mind take the form of more generalized adverse emotions, such as depression, anxiety, or worry, use the idea in its original form. If you find you need more than one application of today’s idea to help you change your mind in any specific context, try to take several minutes and devote them to repeating the idea until you feel some sense of relief. It will help you if you tell yourself specifically:
I can replace my feelings of depression, anxiety, or worry [or my thoughts about this situation, personality, or event] with peace.
- What are you holding? What makes you feel so angry? What are you afraid of? What causes your anxiety?
- What are you waiting to let you be free? What are you waiting to stop identifying yourself as a victim?
- What are you going to give today?
- What are your passions? What do you love?
- I want you to read the following question and take at least 1 minute in silence to answer it. Who are you?
Brown, B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness. New York: Random House.
Foundation For Inner Peace. (1976). A Course of Miracles. USA: ACIM
Tolle, E. (2012). A New Earth: Create a Better Life. Colombia: Grijalbo.
Tolle, E. (2012). The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Colombia: Grijalbo
Paramahansa, Y. (1955). Autobiography of a Yogi. Colombia: Solar.
Jerusalem Bible. (2009). New edition. 1 John 4:18
Gorkonel, D. (2015). 100+ Best Buddha Quotes Full of Ancient Wisdom. https://awesoroo.com/100-best-buddha-quotes-full-of-ancient-wisdom.