Creating Action
3. What do they want to create (action) Now that the client is aware of his/her core values and the areas of their lives that are showing evidence of these core values (or not showing evidence), the client can now start to map out where they would like to steer their lives.
This is where action is now possible.
At this step, many of the reasons for inaction (see above) may potentially surface (fear, uncertainty, limiting personal habits, and/or gremlins/saboteurs). The client is aware of where they are in life, what is important to them, but now that they are capable and aware of actions that may start directing their lives in a direction that they would like, they can often be frozen.
Moving the client forward
Many of the reactions to change and action that the client has experienced in the past were due to having their core values either out of alignment or being unaware of them; their reactions have become an association or habitual reaction. However, now that the work has been done to bring awareness to their core values along with the older outdated core values having been consciously let go, the client can purposely act with intention. The role of the coach is to help them see that many of their hesitations are no longer needed and now an outdated. Despite best initial efforts, these reactions and habits take time to not only understand but to change, and therefore, in some cases, the actions that the client would like to implement will evoke reactions of hesitation. Therefore as a coach, the role to the client is as follows:
- Holding up the clients vision. More so in the beginning, reminding the client of what it is that they are trying to do is important to start the process as well as keep it going. In the beginning, the client will be out of their comfort zone and in the “thick of thin things” (Covey, 1989). Allowing the client to see the larger picture and not get caught up in the smaller details provides valuable perspectives forward as well as honours how far they have already come.
- Validate their hesitations. Allowing the client to understand the accurate magnitude and size of their change or action is important. It is easy to overestimate or underestimate a challenge, and through dialogue, the coach needs to let the client fully express their excitements and hesitations so that they see an accurate picture of what it is that they are trying to do.
- Provide perspective. As the client moves into action (or at least contemplates it), when obstacles arise, they can often seem impassable. However, if the client can explore other perspectives, then the course of action forward becomes easier, and/or in another direction but most importantly consciously in alignment with their core values.
- Focus on the process, rather than the end goal. Rushing the process to get to the end goal can not only produce undue stress, but can also create unrealistic expectations. The work of getting to a goal is the most important and the final end point is simply a culmination of all the hard work along the way. Allowing the client to value their process and set “realistic goals in a realistic amount of time” (Connolly, 2012) will help them not only deepen their understanding of the process but also enjoy it.
- Progress is not linear. There will be days of setbacks and frustration however there is valuable learning to be done in these experiences. By working with the coach, the client will be able to glean learning from what he/she initially perceives as wasted or misused efforts.
- Creating motivation. Depending on the situation, the coach needs to help the client become very clear about their motivation. This motivation helps them keep the end goal in mind but also gives them the strength and reasons to put forth a daily effort (Heath and Heath, 2010).
- Creating critical behaviors. In moments of weakness, will power will only take a client so far and over time, desires to repeat the behaviors that the client is trying to change will easily win over simple will power. Therefore, helping the client identify areas or environments where they will be more susceptible to falling back on old habits is essential. For example, if the client is trying to reduce drinking but often does after dinner during the week on the couch, then creating critical statements that do not allow for any interpretation will take the pressure off will power and enable the client to be successful. An example would be “no alcohol in the house from Monday to Thursday”. This type of statement is much more effective than “I will try and cut down” or “I will only have 2 drinks after dinner”. The intentions are good but in those moments of weakness, it would be too easy for the client to keep drinking past their desired amount (Heath and Heath, 2010)
- Shaping their environment. Despite the best of intentions coming from within the client, if their environment is not sufficiently supportive, then their efforts to implement change or action can be met with enough resistance to stop any progress. Therefore with the client, the coach needs to identify people, environments and situations that may present an overwhelming degree of difficulty (especially in the beginning). Obviously, the situations cannot be ignored forever, but in the beginning they can be controlled and as the client becomes more adept and confident in their process, then those situations can slowly be reintroduced back into the clients life. (Heath and Heath, 2010)
Continued Support
Once the client has taken the initial steps forward into action, challenges will continue to arise, fears will resurface and new difficulties will present themselves. Keeping the client in a space of being open and honest with their situation will require:
- Reviewing their core values
- Holding their vision up
- Letting them analyze, move through and accurately address the emotions they feel as they move deeper into their action and change.
Bibliography
Carson, Rick. (2003) Taming your Gremlin. HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, USA.
Connolly, Jim. (2012). A personal conversation with Jim Connolly from Jim’s Marketing Blog
Covey, Steven. (1989). The habits of highly effective people: Restoring the character ethic. RosettaBooks LLC, New York.
Fields, Jonathan. (2011) Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance. Penguin Books Ltd, USA. Heath, Chip and Dan Heath. (2010). Switch: How to change things when change is hard. Random House, Canada.