A Coaching Power Tool Created by Sarah Batiste
(Health and Wellness Coach, USA)
There is a place we all try to get to. We focus on the future and plan for it, making sure everything we do is in alignment so that when we get ‘there,’ we are in the place we want to be. Here is our present. Each moment of our day is our ‘here’ space and what we do in our ‘here’ determines how we will get ‘there.’ The difficulty lies when our ‘there’ becomes more important than ‘here.’ We are unhappy with our ‘here,’ our ‘there’ looks better than our ‘here,’ or for whatever other reason, our vision of happiness is ‘there.’
Do we live every day always wanting to be something different or to do something different? Are we missing out on today by ignoring it entirely?
Take Amanda, for example. Amanda is in university and has her eyes set on spending some time in a foreign country. It’s all she can think about. She spends hours planning where she will go, what she will do, where she might stay, the experiences she might have, the people she will meet, etc. Amanda begins to complain about her current situation. The schoolwork is too hard, it takes too much of her time, her roommates are annoying, the problems at her job are getting worse, and her friends seem to have forgotten about her. I’m sick of my life, she thinks, I just want to get there already!
This is a common scenario where our ‘here’ ceases to have any importance and all we want is to get ‘there.’ We may find that we never get ‘there,’ it’s always somewhere else or doing something else. So much time focused on the future or another place can possibly prevent any enjoyment, learning, or growth that can happen ‘here.’ Amanda hears about a Life Coach and is interested in getting help about how to get ‘there.’ After listening to her for a while, the Life Coach begins to ask more questions about the ‘here’ where Amanda currently lives. How can you make the most of where you are now? How can you prepare for your future, today? How will your experience in University help you in your future? In what ways will improving our present time help in our future time? Amanda begins to ponder these questions and after a few sessions she talks about the importance of living in the present moment. She pays more attention to her roommates and suddenly her home situation improves, she spends more time studying while thinking about how her learning will apply to her future, her focus on work changes and instead of working just for the money for her travels, she seeks fulfillment and satisfaction. Every day she still looks forward to her future, but something has shifted inside of her. She has begun to live in her ‘here,’ and funny enough, when she finally reaches her ‘there,’ it feels like ‘here’ again. And she is happy about that because she has learned the satisfaction of being fully present in the moment and to soak up each bit of life that she can and really be ‘here.’ All the while try to encourage gratitude and thankfulness for the things in life that make them who they are and that make their ‘here’ important.
This is a common occurrence for a lot of us, but what do we do about it? What can we do about it? The first step is to acknowledge that you are escaping your ‘here.’ The next is deciding to reframe. How can you look at the things in your present to make them desirable for you? What needs to be in place to make that happen? Be careful in planning to be in your ‘here’ so much that the planning is actually taking you ‘there.’ Make today important.
How do you get your client from ‘there’ to here’? How can we aid this shift? Start by talking about the ‘here’ and ‘there’ and ask if this resonates with them. In which do they feel they are living? What are the benefits to living in each of them and what are the drawbacks? In which do they want to live? And if they choose the ‘here’ then start asking them what that looks like for them. How can you make the most of these moments? The things that are problems – how can experiencing them enhance your future? In looking towards the ‘there’ what things can you do today that will make it even better? As your client answers these questions, be listening to things that might be holding them back from their present. There may be something deeper that has pushed them out of their present moment.
- In what ways does your ‘there’ hinder your ‘here’?
- Which of the two do you resonate with more?
- Do we need to leave ‘there’ entirely to be at a comfortable ‘here’?
- How does this Power Tool help when looking at your own life?