A Coaching Power Tool created by Jalaja Hariprasad
(Career Coaching, INDIA)
Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events (Robert F. Kennedy).
What is BEND?
- To bring (something) into a state of tension
- To cause to assume a curved or angular shape
- To force to assume a different direction or shape, according to one's own purpose:
- To deviate from a straight line or position
What is STRAIGHT?
- Extending continuously in the same direction without a curve
- Having no bends or curves
- Following a direct or correct method of approach
Now let us look at this bent noose. It is not easy to remove it until you really get to the root of the knot and slowly remove it layer by layer. Once you touch upon the root, then it comes out easily.
Think of a person who has bent his back due to arthritic condition. To get him lifted up or straightened, he goes through a lot of medication and physiotherapies. This would sometimes take long, maybe few months, but he will go after it whatsoever to get his body straightened up and move forward.
Imagine a drive to reach a destination where the pathway is full of bends and curves, with bad roads. The driver who would want to reach the destination would not give up even if there are several bends as it is important for him to reach the place. There is no ‘should we go’ question here and he will find a way to go, no matter what, driving into those bends and curves to touch the spot.
When we are in a state of bend or curve, it is not a comfortable feeling and we will go any limits to get that straightened up. Our mind sometimes is grappling with all kinds of thoughts, sometimes, positive and sometimes negative which is like a noose. This situation cannot be held on for long and we go after resolving it as soon as possible so that we are back on track.
- How long can you hold on to having a situation which is cluttered for long?
- How many times do we experience this
- What are the modes that you choose to get this evaded?
Here, we discuss about the Client’s state of mind when he walks into the Coaching session, which is Bent or curve and walks out Straight after the session.
The client when approaching a coach comes with a baggage of his problems, issues he is unable to think through. The objective of coaching is to unravel that knot and help him straighten his thinking process. The coach uses various tools and techniques to help this process. Different modes of inquiry, using powerful questions, reframing the perspective, role plays, visualization are all powerful process used in the discussions to unravel the knot in the client’s head. The coach explores some root causes of the knot, including exploring the values and beliefs of the client.
This gives the client a different level of thinking/insight, creates an awareness in him and checks what lays below the surface, his core beliefs that is driving his action.
Clients by expressing his thoughts aloud and getting it articulated, seek help in countering their unhelpful negative effects/behaviour into a positive one. Contribution in making them aware of their behaviour or situation is the first step done by the Coach..
Now once the solution is owned, the client has the ability and responsibility to change or modify it for his own benefit. His thoughts process changes for the better, and the Bent mentality in which he came into the session will get Straightened up.
- Would the same process work if being Bent is the natural state of mind of a person?
- What if the person is instinctively a complex thinker?
- Would attempting to straighten create relief or stress?
- Can being too straight be the cause of the Bend?
Simon strongly believes that being on time is respect for the individual and hence when his friends are even 5 minutes late for a coffee session, he makes a fuss, throws a tantrum thus totally destroying a friendly atmosphere. Today Simon is not very welcome in his friends’s circle and feels rejected & lonely.