A Coaching Model Created by Jessica Kistler
(Life after Loss Coach, UNITED STATES)
Discovery of Effect of Grief
Establish level of grief individual is in. How is the loss affecting there day-to-day life? Where there any complications with the relationship prior to the loss? Wheel of Life or simply the Self Discovery Questionnaire levels of satisfaction in different areas of life.
Desire for Future Outlook
Especially in regards to their grief. The author’s desire is to move clients out of sadness and to the point that they can share and remember their loved one with a calm somberness and maybe happiness and laughter depending on the spirit of the memory. And that the time of year that is challenging is no longer painful and they are able to enjoy the holidays or days that they are reminded and thereby affected/sadden by the loss. Most importantly what do they see for their future in regards to how they experience their loss.
Unearthing those memories and fully getting out and unresolved feelings towards the loved one that existed PRIOR to death.
Positive Approach to Memories
Once an unresolved memories and feelings toward the individual are cleared then the memories are also cleared of sadness. Activities- empty chair (telling unresolved feelings to an empty chair, writing a letter to this individual about any pain that was caused during life. During challenging times of the year coming up with ways that the client can cope effectively honor and remember their loved one with out being dragged down by sadness.
Clear out self guilt VITAL in suicide cases. Move individuals to the self realization that the choice of suicide belong entirely to the individual NOT to them the victim of suicide. This process can also be beneficial to loss that were sudden, tragic, or involved children or infants. To release and individuals responsibility over the death and aid in moving towards a place of peace.
Gifts Given/ Stories Shared
Blessing that the loved one bestowed on to them. In parent child cases anything or personal attributes/talents the parent may have given them. If so desired stories are written down, photos are organized, possibly something is created, art. They feel comfortable sharing stories and the sweetness or humor in the story is felt more than the loss of the individual. They feel comfortable sharing these stories when they come to mind, without getting ‘choke-up.’
Creation of something to honor the individual. Fostering the idea of creating something positive out of a negative situation. What is created is an expression of what the individual is drawn to honor their loss.