COACH: Sunita Chhibar, PCC
CLIENT: Sudhir Dhar
In this video Merci Miglino, MCC, “stops the clock” to share her observations on the coaching as it maps against the ICF competencies.These highlights are extremely valuable to anyone wanting to improve their coaching or apply for an ICF credential. If you are interested in becoming a coach, take the next step by filling out our Coach Development Plan.
Watch the full video below and read the transcript.
Observe the ICF Core Competencies in Action
Get a full list of the ICF Coaching Competencies Download Here
Video Timestamp – 5.53
A. Setting the Foundation
1. Meeting Ethical Guidelines and Professional Standards
B. Co-creating the Relationship
4. Coaching Presence
Video Timestamp – 11:24
A. Setting the Foundation
2. Establishing the Coaching Agreement
Video Timestamp – 12:00
C. Communicating Effectively
7. Direct Communication
Video Timestamp – 16:05
D. Facilitating Learning and Results
8. Creating Awareness
Video Timestamp – 20:14
D. Facilitating Learning and Results
10. Planning and Goal Setting
In this transcript Merci identifies elements of the coaching session that map across the ICF competencies. These highlights are extremely valuable to anyone wanting to improve their coaching or apply for an ICF credential.
Click here to get a copy of the annotated transcript
Sunita: Hi Sadhir, how are you doing?
Sudhir: Hi Sunita, I am fine thank you and how are you?
Sunita: I am fine and thank you very much for giving me this wonderful opportunity to be your coach today. I am very happy to welcome you to this twenty-minute coaching session. As a coach, I offer you a safe, non-judgmental and confidential space. Sadhir, it is really important to me to adhere to the ethical guidelines and professional standards as laid out by the ICA Code of Ethics and since this is a coaching session I would like to clarify that I will not be offering any suggestion, any consultation, therapy or any solution to you. Does that sound ok?
Sudhir: That is fine with me, that is okay with me.
Sunita: We have already spoken about this but I would just like to reiterate that you have already given me permission to get this recorded. Is this ok?
Sudhir: That’s okay with me.
Sunita: Alright, so any questions?
Sudhir: No, I think I am clear about it.
Sunita: So, what would you like to focus on in this twenty-minute coaching session?
Sudhir: I wanted to focus because I am struggling with my time management, there are just too many things to do and I am just doubting my personal potential and my competency to perform.
Sunita: So I heard some very strong words you used Sadhir, I heard ‘doubting your personal potential’ and I am really curious to know what is time management for you?
Sudhir: I think there are just so many things on my plate and I am doing injustice to all of them because at the end of the day I feel ‘okay, I have spent up to fourteen hours a day but I am still not satisfied about what I am getting out of it’.
Sunita: So fourteen hours a day, your plate is full and you are still not satisfied. I am really curious to know what would satisfaction with regards to your time management look like? to be most useful. What would we achieve today that would be most useful?
Sudhir: I wish I could leave at a time where I could spend some time with my family and have some other social events to attend and still be the best at work and perform better.
Sunita: Alright. So, I am hearing that a work/life balance is important to you.
Sunita: So I am really interested also to know what is the ideal work/life balance scenario for you?
Sudhir: Balance for me would be spending say four or five hours with my family every evening, going out and meeting some of my relatives or friends, maybe dining with them or inviting them to my house. That would make me somewhat comfortable, off from work.
Sunita: So spending time with family and socialising. Sadhir, what is important about this for you.
Sudhir: I see this has started to impact on two things – one is my health and one is my relationships at home because I unable to give the time to my family first.
Sunita: I am definitely hearing your concern about the relationships at home and that you are not very happy about and I am curious to know what would be your desired outcome from our time together?
Sudhir: The two things I expect from this twenty-minute session is some structure that I can come up with for some time that I can close my day at maybe 6.00-6.30 at the latest and to spend some time with my family and take care of my important things at work also.
Merci: Stop the clock! Okay, we have put the session on pause for a moment. There are a couple of things I noticed. First, I wanted to acknowledge our coach for demonstrating an understanding of the coaching ethics and professional standards. That involved confidentiality, if the session is recorded and getting permission, asking permission. She also described what to expect in a coaching session and you may not have to do this every time but it is really good to see how it can just flow and be a very natural part of the session. The second competency I noticed which I think is great because it is sometimes hard to envisage what this competency looks like – is coaching presence – to be fully conscious and creating a spontaneous relationship with the client and being open, flexible and confident. The coach is acting in response to the whole person of Sadhir and not just time management and what is your schedule. I heard words like ‘doubt’ and ‘what would it look like’. The other thing is curiosity. She even uses the word a couple of times and it is exhibiting curiosity with an intent to know more, not to find answers, just to really understand what the client is challenged with and who he is inside that challenge. You partnered with the client Sunita: by encouraging y’know ‘so what would it look like’ and I think envisaging helps a lot of people. They want something but they are not sure what it looks like. So, excellent demonstration of those competencies and I will let you guys get back to your coaching.
Sunita: Alright Sadhir, would you articulate, in a very simple sentence what would be your takeaway from today’s coaching. We still have a couple of minutes here and I am really curious to know that.
Sudhir: Even some basic structure to work on, some basic steps. Maybe some thoughts on how to start taking little baby steps to get peace every day.
Sunita: Baby steps to get peace every day. That sounds interesting and that is so sweet. How would you know by the end of our session that we have got that what you are looking for?
Sudhir: Something to work on (which is achievable?) and going back and seeing how well this can be done.
Sunita: I am just wondering if we could bring in some scaling here to really understand and be able to measure. Would that be possible? Would that be okay with you?
Sudhir: That’s okay.
Sunita: So on a scale of 1-10 with regards to those structures – I am saying this because I notice that you have really put in a lot of thought to it – and there is an awareness that I can see and sense. On a scale of 1-10 with regards to the structures and the baby steps that you are looking for, if 1 is nothing at all - and 10 is yes, I have got all the structures that I am looking for - where are you at this point in time?
Sudhir: I am maybe at 5.
Sunita: So you are at 5. Where would you like to be by the end of this session?
Sudhir: I would definitely like to be somewhere between 8 or 9.
Sunita: 8 or 9 alright. So, would you like to tell me more about this 8 or 9. What would that look like for you?
Sudhir: I would say that getting absolute clarity on what is workable and what can be done immediately to come out of this loop. It is doable but the loop...
Sunita: May I make an observation Sadhir?
Sunita: So I think you are talking about structures and baby steps to gain that peace every day and now I am hearing you talking about something else, that you want more clarity. You said something about clarity. Would you like to tell me a little bit more about this?
Merci: Okay, Stop the Clock! I have to first and foremost notice that the coaching agreement has been established. There was the focus, what is important to this client about what they would like and also what would that look like and where are you? Not just what it would look like but what it would look like by the end of this time together. So that is establishing the coaching agreement. The other thing I want to address is the competency of direct communication. The coach here shares observations, she asks permission but she definitely shared an observation, not just to get clarity but almost because it is a curious like ‘what if this’, so sort of supporting the client in looking at the same situation in different ways and I suspect that is where she will go from here. So, both of those competencies are very important. The other one is the coach uses the client’s language, she picks up on key words like ‘doubt’ and I think the other one was ‘important’. Picking up the words and actually using the client’s own language, which makes them relate and it sounds like a rapport is being built here. So, go ahead.
Sunita: So, when you talked about absolute clarity I got a bit more curious to understand what would that absolute clarity might look like?
Sudhir: Absolute clarity on what are the decisions I need to take to come out of this. It is something that has been going around for a couple of months now and I want to know what are the things I need to do and what are the things I shouldn’t do. Maybe something that can be done without my presence itself.
Sunita: Anything else that is coming up for you here?
Sudhir: Maybe some of my beliefs, maybe something getting in my way of saying that okay, maybe this will not work without me, and maybe that is my belief and that maybe I need to trust other people around me.
Sunita: What else?
Sudhir: Those things are maybe pushing me to do every piece of the work but it may not be possible for me to do everything myself. I am just wondering... I get every piece of work, which I need to stop.
Sunita: I really want to just request a moment to commend you for your awareness and I am definitely hearing that many insights and it is amazing that you are coming up with all these thoughts. I am just wondering if in all of this is there something that needs to be resolved here with this awareness?
Sudhir: I definitely have that awareness but when it comes to the next step I am lost in the day to day doing of it. I don’t know how to stop it.
Merci: Alright. We have created awareness here, thanks to the coach’s observations and patience just letting the client unpack what is going on for them and getting clearer and clearer and then the acknowledgement that the client is having some awareness and moving toward what can he do with this awareness. So, I just wanted to speak to that. You guys can get started.
Sunita: So, I am really glad that there is a lot of awareness happening here and I am just curious to know how are you going to use this awareness?
Sudhir: I would say what comes to my mind after this fifteen minute session with you is how I can filter my calendar every day? What I need to stop is that my calendar is open for everybody so I need to just select what is on my calendar and just organise it and stop the calendar at 6.30.
Sunita: Right, wonderful so there are just a couple of minutes now before the call is over for us and I am hearing again through your awareness that yes, the solution is right there. So, is there a learning here?
Sudhir: Yes there is definitely a learning here. What I am getting to realise now is that it is a self-created problem in some ways that I can take control of my calendar instead of giving my calendar to my secretary. That may be the first step I can achieve.
Sunita: Wonderful. So, we are very close to the top of our session and we have got one action step I am just wondering – you were at 5 with regards to that scale that we used – where are we now?
Sudhir: It is 8 plus. I am sure I know what is happening around me, what is taking that 14 hours every day.
Sunita: That is wonderful and I congratulate you for being able to get to a good step and the learning I heard was ‘it is me’ and ‘I have the power’ and I am just wondering how would you like to use this learning in the larger picture of your life?
Sudhir: The learning is it’s me.
Sunita: Alright, that’s wonderful so is there anything you want from me? You want to start taking control of your life yourself. Is there anything that I can support you with to bring that peace of accountability for you?
Sudhir: Maybe I will write back to you every day with what time I am closing my day. If it’s okay with you?
Sunita: Yes. Absolutely okay with me and I know that this is indeed a wonderful step and I wish you all the best and we will talk more in our next coaching session if that’s okay with you?
Sudhir: Thanks Sunita, it was wonderful.
Sunita: Thanks. I had a great time. Is it okay to close the session?
Merci: Yes, thank you very much. Okay, so Sunita, towards the end there, what did you notice competency wise?
Sunita: So actually given the time and since it is more of a training video – I would have gone a little deeper into the step he has decided for himself and I would like to know what are his support structures. What could come in the way and the client has decided to do something about his time management and I am kind of really still curious to know whether he will be doing that or not. So, running his goal through the SMART acronym and talking a little bit about his obstacles and about his support structures. So sometimes if he goes solo you know it can be very difficult but when we know we have certain people or technology as a structure. And even thinking about what can get in the way. So, we did not explore all of this and definitely in a longer session I think this is very important. With regard to competencies I think that the 9th, 10th and 11th competencies which talks about accountability and action steps and then closing, after taking permission from your client, I think that becomes very important. Then asking about the progress and where you are I think I did notice.
Merci: Yeah definitely there is a 9, 10 and 11 of ICA competencies like planning and goal-setting, managing, accountability and designing actions and we saw all three of these. The action was quite simply and beautifully put by the client ‘I control my calendar; my calendar doesn’t control me’ and also support like ‘what can I do’ ‘what supports would you need’. He did indeed say it would be great to touch base with you to keep himself accountable and partnering with the client to close the session. That is very important because this is their session and it reminds us that this is their agenda. We are not leading it. It sounds very simple but it sets a tone, I think that was really important so thank you for demonstrating that.
Thank you to our coach and our client.
About Sunita Chhibar
Sunita Chhibar is an ICF credentialed Professional Certified Coach. She is an Executive and Life Coach, with over 20 years of experience with Human Resources Management, Marketing, and Coaching.
Sunita has been coaching Global Leaders, Senior Management Executives, and Sales Managers, Supervisors, the Technical staff, Fresh Graduate Recruits, for meeting organizational goals. Sheunderstands the coaching demands of the present era of growing complexity, inter-dependence, and ever-increasing pace of change. Being a versatile coach her focus as an executive and life coach is to empower people to forge ahead confidently and happily in their work and life.