Our emotions are the driving powers of our lives. When we are aroused emotionally, unless we do something great and good, we are in danger of letting our emotions become perverted.
William James used to tell the story of a Russian who sat weeping at the tragic fate of the hero in the opera while her coachman froze to death outside – Earl Riley
Emotional awareness about coachee’s and of self is of paramount importance in coaching.
As coaches, we facilitate our clients to discover themselves, re-validate their beliefs, and tune their Actions matching their values aligned to their purpose. The more we understand the verbal and nonverbal clues of the clients; deeper can be our understanding and exploration for providing a broad perspective to the clients to choose from and to design their actions to reach where they want to reach.
There were 3 incidents where I witnessed the emotional burst outs and on introspection I realized that
In resolving Life issues of people it’s highly important person to person understanding about others verbal and non verbal cues so that one can provide a comprehensive response to their situation. Awareness about their own self and about the behaviour of clients is much more important for the Coach since he is going to support the client in finding their own solutions for reaching their goals.
As a sales Professional, when performance was not as expected there were lot of stress and procrastinations. Despite engaging a personal coach (For building competencies to meet job requirements and taking a career shift) the client was not moving forward due to his underlying beliefs & unwillingness to execute the action plans arrived. I understood that emotional balance of a client is a must for reaping the coaching benefits and as a coach it’s vital to know A) From Where the client is coming? B) What is the level of client’s awareness?
one of my client shown great interests in taking coaching supports. He was going through tough times in his career and Job. During the coaching sessions he was focusing on his procrastination and wanted to stick on to his own action plan in overcoming procrastination. Not even once he did implement his own action plan and subsequently discontinued coaching due his guilty feeling of non execution. All that I could do is, I could create awareness and how not addressing the problem can further complicate the issues for him. Knowing a bit more what is going on at home, finance, health etc certainly supported me to address the issue due to my own self awareness and active listening during coaching sessions.
My client was undergoing severe health discomfort. After few coaching session the client opened up out of trust and intimacy created; she shared about her mental stress and trauma experienced. However the will towards completing the goal was strong and the goal was linked to a Major Purpose clearly drafted by the client.
Despite the odds the client used to complete all the assignment and was making a big leap in achieving the goal successfully.
All the 3 cases I have witnessed myself as a coach and on analysis I found that behaviour expresses underlying emotions and knowing it for one’s one self and capturing it as a coach in a coaching engagement is critical.
The above understanding of mine leads me to research on the following hypothesis: Hypothesis:’
No real coaching can happen unless the coach ascertains the present emotional being of self and the client’
The research paper mainly focuses on the following aspects in coaching.
- EQ : its importance during coaching
- Emotional Awareness : its importance for the coaches
- Various EQ assessment tools available ; what exactly they measure
- Findings of survey carried out among coaches – their suggestions in improving coaching awareness
- Summary and Suggestion
EQ and Its Importance
Emotions are the signals in life and one need to know how to derive meaning out of their emotions.
Emotions to be understood in a right perspective & neither to be obeyed nor to be ignored Our trust & fear on things, the way we perceive, triggers and generates sequence of actions and we set the stage for dancing of emotions which ultimately takes the role of villain than being a director (one who directs with a strong purpose and meaning which will add value to accomplishment of our goals)
Game of 6.2 seconds & its relevance:
In normal course the analysis and action to be taken takes place through cortex (rational thinking) part of our brain. When there is a stress, fear etc. the “amygdale’s triggered and pressed into action for survival (ensuring the safety) from the danger as perceived. The normal time taken is 6.2 seconds for the thalamus to give feedback to amygdale. Hence its of paramount important to mention here that allowing 6.2 seconds before initiating our actions or response to the event is extremely critical and need to be learned with awareness.
Elements of emotional intelligence
An element of Emotional Intelligence consists of:
Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions
2. Managing emotions
Managing one’s internal states, impulses, and resources.
Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals.
All the three above aspects facilitates the coach proportionately towards facilitating their clients during the coaching process.
Awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns.
5. Social skills
Adeptness to induce desirable responses in others.
Emotional Awareness: its importance for the coaches
Emotional awareness is about knowing one’s own self and of others is the key to unlock the true potential of the person. Our emotions & feelings affect the way we behave (i.e.) what we say and do All human relationships are based on our behaviour towards each other “Behaviour portraits” “The visible part of an iceberg it’s just the visible part of what’s going on inside the head “ Understanding the emotions, feelings, actions (behaviour) will help us to understand our own self and others as well