C. Strategy for Helping Clients Deal with Fear
In his book, Embracing Fear, Thom Rutledge came up with the acronym for fear:
- Face it
- Explore it
- Accept it
- Respond to it[7]
Coaches can help clients through their fear by guiding them through these phases to help get them to the other side of their fear.
- FACE IT: The first step to help push through fear is to face the fear. As the quote from Mark Twain said, that the only way that you can kill the fear is to face it. That’s the only way to fear’s sure death.
- EXPLORE IT: The second step to help clients face their fear is to have them explore it. Really start asking questions and digging deep into the cause of the fear and what it is that is really holding them back. Only when you find out where the fear is coming from, can coaches help the client move on to the next phase.
- ACCEPT IT: Instead of repressing or ignoring the voices of panic and dread, we learn that it is only through accepting the fear that we and our clients can free ourselves from it.
- RESPOND TO IT: How will the client respond to fear? Either by pushing through it, going around it or just sitting with it and doing nothing. Only by facing it and pushing through it can the coach get the client to the other side of it to move forward and put it to rest.
5. Conclusion
By always thinking about fear, it actually starts creating actions based on that way of thinking. If, as coaches, we can help our clients reframe their thoughts about fear, it will help them create new actions based on their reframed thoughts, putting them in a better or even positive light. An example of this would be to have a client who has a partner but is always fearful that the partner will leave. So, the client becomes controlling, wanting to know their partner’s every move and whereabouts. Doing this doesn’t actually ease the fear and bring the partner closer, it actually does the exact opposite . . . the fear pushes them away — the exact thing that the client is trying to avoid. If people live their lives with open hearts and great expectations, their actions will reflect that and things that they want will start manifesting themselves instead of repelling them when it is based on fear. It is like spending time with negative people. When people do, they end up being or feeling negative themselves. But, if they surround themselves with positive people, they become hopeful and joyful and open to all things good. Instead of living in fear, help your client face their fear and become the positive person, manifesting positive things, and being a person that other people want to be around!