Pretend You Have It
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
The Bible, KJV
Growing up, playing pretend was a serious game for us kids. However, as kids, we knew that if grownups played pretend, they were not serious. Therefore, one of the more challenging concepts to grasp as adults is how to play pretend and really mean it. Seriously. In other words, to expect what we are pretending about — is coming true. Not will come true, but IS coming true. At the birth of the client’s desire and her feelings behind it, her wish began manifesting and will continue if, and only if – she maintains those positive feelings about the desire, as well as take action to prepare for its arrival and pretend that it’s on the way!
For example, if a client wants a mate, but currently lives alone, she may clean out an extra closet in preparation of “his” arrival. She knows he is “on the way” so the client might go shopping for the perfect date-night outfit for when her mate arrives. Pretend You Have it is a principle of feeling and action. Action creates emotion as well. As the coach, you must keep the client aware of her positive and negative emotions, maintain the positive feelings, pretend that it’s on the way, and then ask her to take small actions in preparation for her desire’s arrival.
There is also an opposite side to this principle:
Law of attraction could just as dramatically produce undesirable outcomes, such as disease, poverty and hardship – all because your thoughts and emotions were allowed to run amok…without focus or direction or conscious intention
(Miller, page 75)
Hence why the coach must make the client aware of her emotions when manifesting. Although negative emotions or the saboteur will creep in, the client should understand that feeling those negative emotions is perfectly fine. What’s more important though is to ensure the client does not wallow in those negative feelings, but instead allows the feelings to pass. Like leaves traveling down a peaceful river. The leaves will pass. Then — it’s a peaceful river again, and the client reemerges in the positive emotions of what is manifesting.
A big component to feeling good and staying positive involves gratitude: Having it, feeling it, taking action to acknowledge what you’re grateful for. But it’s challenging for the client who finds herself sad or resentful about something. A very easy way to save yourself from depressing or negative feelings is making a daily gratitude list, an easy tool to introduce when clients may feel stuck in an emotional rut.
Gratitude is a feeling. So the ultimate aim in practicing gratitude is to deliberately feel it as much as you can, because it’s the force of your feeling that accelerates the magic in your life
(Byrne, The Magic, page 18).
Step Out of Your Own Way
In the pursuit of manifesting our desires using LOA, we forget the basic idea that the Universe contains everything we want and everything we don’t want. It’s like a limitless inventory of every possible scenario, good or bad, that could ever exist. While we identify what we want, try to stay positive, stay grateful – inevitably, life happens. And if we’re not careful of our emotions and our underlying beliefs and especially our ego, we risk losing momentum or all action towards manifesting abundance.
Our ego contains underlying beliefs, judgments, assumptions and opinions about how life should go, how life should unfold for you. In the ego’s world, there is only you. The Universe and others in it are separate from you. In ego, it’s you against the world – instead of you being connected to everyone and everything, including the Universe. When we begin manifesting, the ego will inevitably want to step in and question everything. The ego will begin to separate you from your High Power and your faith that what you want is on the way.
As she is manifesting her desires, remind the client to believe that her desires are on the way, and that she must notice any reactions she may have, which stem from the ego: why is this happening; this is not what I wanted; everyone but me gets what they want; why am I waiting so long? All those statements are ego-drive and will change the focus of your manifestation. This is where you run the risk of getting in your own way! In the Universe’s limitless inventory, when your ego kicks in, you shift from an allowing perspective (you allow the Universe to deliver your desire freely and
￼release control of the circumstances) to a closed perspective (where you are questioning the Universe or doubting your wish will manifest and also becoming ego-driven).
So how can you help the client Step Out of Her Own way? It involves faith. Something you cannot draw from your five senses.
Let go and let it come to you…stepping out of your own way is a state of consciousness, a way of being
(Miller, page 110).
Having faith in a Source or a Higher Power greater than you (and your ego) is the first step toward finding and maintaining faith. Help the client practice releasing control of * how * her desires will manifest and unfold. The “how” will be taken care of by the Universe. The client’s faith will sustain her, along with staying positive, joyful and focused on her actions and intentions. In other words, when the client releases ego- driven control, she will begin enjoying the journey and all the wonder that comes from trusting in the Universe — trusting that your needs and prayers have been heard.
Welcome It Into Your Life
If we follow the first three LOA principles, desires will manifest themselves, although the way in which desires came to us may have changed or perhaps something greater manifested than we envisioned. This final principle is more than just celebrating our manifestation. Rather, it’s about the client acknowledging the Universe and herself for the final outcome. As well as showing and feeling gratitude, you as a coach can help clients turn LOA into a lifestyle.
It is about welcoming into your life a new way of living, a new way of seeing life, and the Universe
(Miller, page 217).
Cultivating an LOA way of life gets easier with practice. And again, the four principles sound simple to follow, but coaches know better! LOA transforms lives if its principles are fully understood, practiced and followed. As a transformational Life Coach, I’ve witnessed, profound shifts in perspectives as a result of guiding clients through this process .
Byrne, Rhonda. The Magic. New York, NY: Atria Books, 2010
Byrne, Rhonda. The Power. New York, NY: Atria Books, 2010
Miller, Sonja, M. The Attraction Distraction. Dallas, Oregon: Alma Publishing, 2008