Research Paper By Roxana Borcsa
(Life Coach, ROMANIA)
We all make decisions. Some decisions are hard, some are easy, and some make us wonder what if we chose the other path. I do not believe in another path. If we make a decision it is for a reason to learn from even if it’s not for the best or the worst. We are who we are because we chose to do what we chose to do. The result is our happiness. The choice you make can be the right one for the moment or the wrong one, and more important than the choice itself can be the power of realizing what the choice is bringing into your life and learn from that and as I said if it turns out to be a wrong choice just make it right, have the power of choosing again and doing it better this time.
Life is a matter of choice. We are making choices every day at every single step. Right from the time, we wake up; to the time we go to sleep at night. Some of these are so routine we do not even stop to think about them. For instance, the choice of what we eat and what we wear, the route we take to our office, etc.
Decision-making may not always be tough, but the circumstances or the people associated with those choices make it hard because of the emotions involved around those choices. Sometimes it can be life-changing, and the choice we make can leave us with more meaningful learning experiences.
People who decide and choose under difficult circumstances often progress in life, while those who cannot get stuck. This is also the reason some people are ultra-successful while others are not.
Are these ultra-successful people doing anything differently that makes it easy for them to decide and choose? They have a different way of looking at choosing. They are more process-oriented and do not allow their emotions to cast a shadow on their choice.
Sometimes even the small choices we make day-to-day can have a significant impact on our lives like choosing what we eat and how active we are during the day can have in time different consequences.
Life is full of choices if we choose to take notice of them. In every situation and at every juncture opportunities abound. These choices give us a sense that we are in the driver seat, able to determine our path forward. These paths aren’t always predictable. Some are marked while others seem unlikely; small and dusty footpaths – the road less traveled.
Who will you be after making a choice?
No matter the circumstance, your response remains your own. When all else seems to fail, we can still choose our attitudes. We can choose our actions. We can choose to face what lies before us, working through our fears, and moving forward.
What choices will you make?
The choice is difficult because it represents sacrifice. Choosing something means giving up on something else — something we might want tomorrow, or next week — and that won’t be available to us if we don’t grab it today.
What is Choice?
Let’s start with the basics. Merriam-Webster defines choice as the following:
The opportunity or power to choose between two or more possibilities; the opportunity or power to make a decision.
Choice theory is the study of how decisions get made. The term was coined in a book of the same name by William Glasser, who argued that all choices are made to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.
Choosing How We See Our Times
“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” What makes it that one person sees the times they live in as great? They see opportunity and adventure around every corner as well as being filled with the hope of an even better tomorrow. Then you find someone, could be someone in the same workplace or even the same family, and they see the times as an absolute disaster. They are filled with fear and a sense that things could fall apart at any minute. Nothing they see or do offers them hope or joy and they are certain that tomorrow will be no better.
It all comes down to one key element that both people have full control over, and that is the attitude. American author and businessman, W. Clement Stone said, “There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” The difference between a positive or negative attitude when it comes to how we view our world is one of the biggest differences we have in life.
You see, the power of choice, like all things of value in this life, requires courage, determination, and hard work. Even though we all have the power of choice, we must, first of all, choose to use it. If we do not exercise our ability to make decisions for ourselves or chose what is best for us, it is the same as not having a choice at all.
Good decisions are always made quickly and changed slowly, while poor decisions are made slowly and changed quickly. Trust what you know. Make decisions quickly but wisely. Will you sometimes make a bad decision or a mistake? Yes, I am sure you will. I hope you do. Why? Because it is through making mistakes that we learn. It is by taking risks that we discover not just what works but what does not work as well, and that is very important information to have. As the brilliant, Albert Einstein said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake never tried anything new.”
Choosing How We Move Forward: make a choice and act upon it…learn, grow, and improve and choose again based on your learning.
A ship in harbor is safe – but that is not what ships are built for. –John A. Shedd
“We had everything before us; we had nothing before us, we were all going directly to heaven; we were all going direct the other way.” It all comes down to two very important realities that, once you put them into play they will change your whole life. You choose. Like it or not, you always choose. You choose if you will take control of your life or you choose to give that control away. You choose if you will achieve your dreams or you choose to give them up. In the end, you always choose. Choice in my opinion is an ongoing process of acting and learning and acting again and learning some more…
Personal development is not the ability to make choices. You already do that all the time. It is the ability to take responsibility for those choices. No excuses as to why you did not achieve what you wanted to do. Success-minded people know that all choices carry consequences, good or bad. Successful people accept and own the consequences; unsuccessful people make excuses for them. Remember the words of Benjamin Franklin who said, “He who is good at making excuses is good at very little else.”
Number two is this: Nothing Happens Without Action! If you want to succeed at anything in life, whether that is to cook a tasty dinner or change the world, you must take action and take it now. If you do not take action on your dreams, they are nothing but wishes and wishes are like smoke, they just blow away.
Using my personal experience of life, being raised in a system that was bringing to the surface only the negative side and the not enough issues, I have struggled my entire life to balance the person from inside my self who was sure that is special and more than enough to what others were saying about me and what society was considered to be enough. It took me 20 years to realize that the true me was inside and not the image that others wanted me to have. Why so much time spent on frustration and trying to fit in somebody else’s values? Because I believed that was it. Whenever something was happening around me I was to blame because I was not good enough to be better or do something better. I was never good enough to start my career and ending with my relationships. The bright side of this( because there always is a bright side) was that I was eager to learn more to see where the struggle is and what can I do to improve and I did change and improve. The point is that that you need to change faster than 20 years and using coaching can get you there faster wherever you want to be.
For me first was not even realizing that I have options or freedom of choice I had been going on a path and there is nothing else no other paths, sad but true. Once you see that there are many paths that you can take here is the awareness and comes to the power of choice. So I have chosen a different path and after not so long I started to doubt myself, am I good enough am I doing it right? Luckily this other career is in coaching and having the support of many formidable peers I learned how I can deal with not enough issues, and how can I see a choice every day and that empowered me and gave me the freedom and the courage of continuing.
To make a conclusion from these research paper based on my experience and also being part of a wonderful journey with my peers, I can say with all my trust that when you discover that there is something in your life that you want to improve however small it is from a simple thing as having a plan for next week, up to changing a job or a relationship in your life you have to choose, you have options and when you choose according to your values you feel good enough in the decision you made and in the process that comes ahead.
- Clients are encouraged to identify “what can I change?” to answer the next question “what can I do?” to bring about this change
- How do you feel you could best motivate yourself?
- What are the best ways for you to support yourself at this point?
- If you had no restrictions at all, who would you be?
- Here are some questions that may help:
- Which opportunity are you going to pursue?
- What specific actions will you take to achieve your goal? What is your time frame?
- What are the steps you’re going to take? What’s the very first thing you will do?
- What are the next three steps? What else?
- Have you considered the potential barriers?
- Tell me how you plan to overcome these obstacles…
- Who will you ask to help you along the way? What else will you need?
- How committed do you feel to this particular opportunity, out of 10?
- What are some ways you can get to 10?
- How are you going to know that you’ve succeeded?
Freedom of choice, power, and the responsibility of decision-makers, January 2007
Authors: Manfred J. Holler, University of Hamburg
Power tool: Not enough vs good enough by Roxana Borcsa