CULTURAL IMPACT AND LEARNING
This case study clearly demonstrates that in coaching sessions, culture and tradition of a client can play a big part in their thinking, in the way they process information, and how they perceive life, as this can impact ones dreams and goals they wish to achieve. If there is no support in the family for one to achieve their goals, this can hinder a client in their confidence. There are so many areas that can be discussed through family coaching, and how each member of the family can support each other in their achieving their goals.
The family in this case study had many cultural impacts on them as a family and individually:
- Priya had felt so much pressure within her over the years and this is apparent in many Indian families today where woman are taking on responsibility and roles due to society and cultural norms and really do begin to forget themselves and who they are.
- Jay was subjected to living a life which was to be determined by others. Though he wouldn't do this, but the pressure of being the 'boy' in the family and lead a 'respectful' profession in business rather than music can be overbearing.
- Serena felt the pressure of being married at a 'suitable' age as traditionally women would get married early and become a housewife. This can impact many women in an Indian family, as marriage is such a big topic and from a young age, girls are nurtured and bought into the belief of being married by a certain age.
- Though Raj didn't open up fully to the coaching, it could clearly be seen that he was playing the role of the provider of the family and didn't really have time for much else. Without realising, he was putting the same pressures on his son Jay.
- Music was a big family value and passion yet due to society expectations and punjabi family traditions, music has been seen a 'non-respectful' profession and no one has ever followed the pursuit of music as a career except Jay.
- Bau-ji didn't really understand the coaching concept but he did understand that the time spent together with the family was precious to him and he was enjoying getting to know everyone on a different level. He saw it as a space of love with his family. He didn't realise he was in a coaching space, yet the key realisation that came from him was that music is in the blood - he thoroughly enjoys it but never saw it as something to pursue as a profession as in his generation his key duty was to support the family in UK and in India. Hence the roles and responsibilities held in different generations were really fascinating for me to explore. And it is true to a certain extent that today we live in a world where there are more opportunities available to us, but in a different generation it would have been completely different and there may not have been many opportunities open.
Therefore, when exploring coaching to an Indian client or any other cultural background, it’s important to note the family background pressures and values that the client brings with them. The upbringing of one really does hold a lot of value in the way one approaches in how they achieve their goals. Additionally it’s important as coaches that we understand our client’s culture and their background, especially if it is an area of unfamiliar ground to us. We can do this by:
- Asking the client questions on their upbringing, and cultural norms that they are bought up in.
- Asking the client on their perspective of their culture and how they deal with any pressures.
- Out of curiosity, trying to learn more about different cultures by reading and talking to people about it. This will really help coaches in understanding many different cultures and will help us to broaden the type of clients we attract.
What I’ve learnt in Family Coaching:
- To consider all members of the coaching experience.
- Understand that it may get emotional and really deep within the family and to be aware on how to manage that process.
- Value each person as an individual and as the role they play in the family.
- Not every member will benefit from the coaching as an individual, but it will help the family as a whole and that is a key part of family coaching.
- Each individual can learn from each other immensely.
- Roles play a key part in family coaching, and it's important that even though we have different roles, the key factor is that everyone else is able to understand each other on a human level first.
- Try different techniques and approaches - do not be scared to try group exercises as they can be very helpful.
- It's vital to be respectful to one's culture and not be judgmental in any form.
This family coaching experience has been extremely valuable to me, especially as I am from the same culture, and really has helped me to appreciate it. It really has allowed me to consider and explore different avenues of coaching in different cultures and even family coaching as a possible niche.
I truly thank Priya for giving me this opportunity and for Bau-ji, Raj, Jay and Serena in allowing me to coach them as a family.