Research Paper By Neena Verma
(Leadership Coaching, Team Coaching, Transformational Coaching, INDIA)
We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.
J. K. Rowling
Introduction to Case Study
This case study is about a woman who on professional front is an accomplished trainer, consultant and published author. Yet deep inside she felt she was a scared little girl. Her inner reality was manifesting in her personal life and affecting her intensely. Her teenage daughter, her “significant confidante”, often pointed to RD (name changed for confidentiality) her irritable and critical persona. Despite being professionally sorted, she was of late receiving similar feedback from her associates as well. She decided to seek coaching help and in the process a magnificent butterfly emerged.
RD is in her early fifties. She is the middle child in a family of 3 children … she and her two brothers, one elder and one younger to her. Her elder brother was perceived by parents and teachers as an “average child”. Her younger brother was an autistically challenged child. Her father was a strict disciplinarian. An engineer from country’s top technology institute, he worked at a senior position in a public sector company. He was an ambitious man & demanding father. He projected all his dreams & expectations on RD since she was his only apparent hope. Over a period of time, this led to RD perceiving her talent to be an instrument for achievement (to please her father) rather than as something that defined her or gave her a reason to feel healthy self-esteem.
She grew up to be a brilliant person, excelling in her engineering and later management course. She met her husband in professional space of her life. He was fascinated with her intelligence and she took liking to his simplicity and easy demeanor. It took them some time to solemnize their marriage because RD’s father and her husband’s mother (RD’s mother-in-law) were not approving their alliance. Eventually they did, but both continued to relate to RD with “negative energy”. Her father felt betrayed and shocked with RD taking her own decision, stepping away from the mould of a complaint child. Her mother-in-law was dismayed over her
dashing and much sought after son having been stolen away by a manly looking clumsy woman.
Over the years, even though RD’s professional success remained unparalleled, her personal life felt “dry and dull” to herself. She craved for acceptance from herself despite her husband continuing to affirm her for her amazing intelligence and her children looking upto her as her as an inspiring role-model.
I had known RD since before our coaching work began. She had attended my “The Shadow Gifts” workshop sometime back, whereby her demanding, critical and disapproving persona was evident. Many insights had emerged for her through the group feedback and self-work.
She contacted me three months later for some coaching help. She felt that the workshop had given her glimpse into her inner being, which she felt the need to work with.