Anita explored various options and the action she chose to take here was look at every feedback from a different perspective, understand that each person has the freedom to have their own perception, check whether the feedback made sense and take responsibility for the same. She also decided, instead of reacting, she would respond in a positive manner when receiving feedback, accept and thank the person and take a serious look at the feedback received.
The impact was amazing. Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, Anita’s self confidence bloomed and by the time the training was complete, Anita’s self confidence was clearly visible through her presentations, her body language and her smile.
3. How do I get my personality back?
Anita shared that in school she was a bubbly, fun-filled very positive person. Over the years on account of the depression and low self-esteem, she had become a person who rarely smiled, kept to herself all the time and looked mousy as well.
Through the visualisation process, Anita was able to see the kind of personality that she wanted to become. She also realised that ‘she’ was responsible for this change in her personality. Through powerful listening and acknowledgement, I was able to make Anita aware of how people are attracted to positive personalities and how both her earlier goals too were linked to her 3rd goal.
Few actions she decided to take immediately were:
- Smile more often
- Take the effort to greet people and ask after them
- Make conversation and thereby understand what is important to her and to others
- Look forward to exploring new interests - like going with friends to watch movies or have dinner
- Engage in fun-filled activities.
By the end of our 3-month period, the transformation was visible to Anita, myself and her colleagues also started commenting on the same which in turn boosted Anita’s self confidence.
A Summary of the Approach based on ICF competencies, Model & Tools Used
The sessions with Anita were spread over a period of 3 months.
All the sessions were Face to Face and had a duration of minimum 1 hour.
On the basis of the trust built, Anita was able to open up and share all that was bothering her and hampering her forward movement.
The focus of every session, therefore, by her, became to take an action which would move her forward towards the goals that she wanted to achieve.
The Coaching Model used during the process
I used the GROW Model during this process as detailed below –
Outlining the Goals
The Goals were outlined very clearly and Anita was happy to commit to them. Every conversation helped her map her progress and goal achievement.
By powerful questioning and delving into the challenges faced by Anita, she was able to clearly see the reality and where she was getting stuck. This helped her to be clear about the actions she needed to take to move forward.
Anita was able to identify various options to go from her reality to achievement of her goals. By using various coaching tools and following the ICF competencies, Anita was able to select the suitable option that would help her achieve her goals.
Anita’s amazing commitment to the goals and her positive approach to taking the action decided mutually, helped her to move forward and achieve the goals. Today too, her commitment to herself has allowed her to carve a way forward in the corporate world.
The Coaching Approach
A. Setting the Foundation & Establishing the Agreement
- The process was started by having a Chemistry meeting rapport was built between the Coach and the Client. The prior interactions ensured mutual trust and genuineness in the relationship.
- In this meeting, the purpose was clearly defined and the goals outlined. An agreement was drawn up between the Coach and the Client.
- At every session, it was clearly outlined that all conversations would remain confidential.
- The outcome that the client wanted to achieve was also established at the beginning of every session.
B. Communicating Effectively
- During the process the Coach was able to help the client explore herself through active, patient and empathetic listening.
- This powerful listening enable the client to share the challenges faced, the beliefs and delve deeper into her psyche to look at whats working and whats not.
- By using powerful questioning and paraphrasing where required, the Coach was able to help the client look at options, reframe perspectives and release judgement. The Coach was always detached and would challenge the client to explore different avenues.
C. Faciltating Learning and Results
- In the entire coaching process, the Coach was able to create awareness within the client about her reality and the actions she needs to take to bring about a positive change in her life.
- Through the process of visualization, the client was able to see the kind of personality that she would love to be and thereby get committed to moving in that direction.
- The Coach also used role playing during sessions in order to create awareness of how others viewed her and what was their perspective. This gave the client deep insights into the actions she needed to take to reach her goals.
- The Coach, over the period of 3 months, kept in regular touch with the client to monitor implementation of action initiatives and ensure accountability to achievement of goals.
Insights for client
Through the entire process, Anita was able to realise, very powerfully, that all through these years, she had allowed other people’s perspectives to control her life, her thoughts and her actions.
By releasing that, looking within at her innate strengths, she was able to change her perspective about herself and gain her confidence back.
Insights for coach
I believe that all of life is a “perspective”. What I see, may or may not be what the other person sees. These sessions reinforced that belief. By using the coaching process and the various powerful tools outlined by ICA, I was able to co-create a wonderful inner discovery for Anita. Even today, it gives a warm feeling.
I spoke to Anita few weeks back. She is now rated as one of the best employees of the Organisation within her group. She is working on one of the sought after projects and has thrown off her glasses by going through a laser eye surgery !!
Lastly, the very relevant statement, “After the first few sessions, all of coaching is life coaching” comes to mind and brings a smile to my face !! When I first met Anita, I was very curious to understand what made such a top scorer have such low confidence. The goals we set were all within my domain as a “Behavioural Consultant”. Yet as we delved deeper, I realised that there is much more to the iceberg than just the tip!!
And so today, am able to acknowledge myself for having worked with Anita and supporting her through this life-transformation process.