Balance is the true trait of resilient people. According to Dr. Wicks, one should check their individual balance in several areas:
- Stimulation and quiet
- Reflection and action
- Work and leisure
- Self-care and care of others
- Self-improvement and patience
- Future aspirations and present positive realities
- Involvement and detachment
There are many wonderful tools available to assist a client with these balance issues such as the “Wheel of Life.” (www.mindtools.com)
Positive, accurate self-talk is a trademark of emotional resilience. What we say to ourselves matters greatly.
I can do this, versus I failed last time so I probably will again,
would make a world of difference for someone trying something new. A coach who asks a client directly,
What are you saying to yourself in this situation?
may help the client realize what their self-talk is doing to their success. Some cognitive errors that contribute to poor self-talk include all or nothing thinking, overgeneralization, mental filters (like dwelling on the one negative thing in a positive situation), disqualifying the positive, mistaking our feelings for reality, should statements (“I should do this…I shouldn’t do that”), and personalization (taking responsibility where one has none). (Bounce, 2010)
The final emotional resilience builder I will mention is meditation.
This also fits the spiritual resilience category: these resilience pillars are inter-related and over-lapping. All major religions point out the value of time away from activity. Henri Nouwen, a Catholic spiritual writer, notes in his book The Way of the Heart that silence and solitude are the furnace in which transformation takes place. (Bounce, 2010) There are many benefits to meditation including a sharpened sense of clarity, enhanced attitudes, increased humility, protecting our inner fire, and a fortifying of our inner strength. (Bounce, 2010)
Several powerful tools are available to help a client assess his or her resilience. In addition to the tools mentioned previously, Dr. Wicks presents a very thorough self-assessment in his book Bounce. There are 60 thought-provoking questions that would give a coach and client a plethora of conversational topics including,
Given the realistic demands of work and family, what would it take to balance these two areas in your life a bit more?
Another perspective on assessing our resilience comes from Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg in his book Building Resilience in Children and Teens. He asserts that there are seven crucial C’s in the assessment of resilience: competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. (2011)
Similar to the four pillars previously mentioned, they are inter-related.
Powerful coaching produces a happier, healthier client. If coaches desire an awareness of overall wellness for the client he or she can look to resilience. Every human goes experiences challenges and transitions. A resilient person can use such challenges to become happier, healthier, and stronger.
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Ginsburg, Kenneth R. MD. (2011). Building Resilience in Children and Teens. American Academy of Pediatrics.
Gungor, Mark. (2011). Discovering Your Heart with the Flag Page.
Laugh Your Way America! LLC.
Gungor, Mark. (2002). Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage. Atria
Wheel of Life. (November 11, 2011). www.mindtools.com. Retrieved on April 7, 2012.
National Guard Spiritual Care and Resilience Fitness Guide. (2011).
Wicks, Robert J, PsyD. (2010). Bounce: Living the Resilient Life.
Oxford University Press.
www.realwarriors.net. (July 14, 2011). Physical Fitness Training Year
Round Boosts Resilience.” Retrieved on April 7, 2012.