The sixth session that we met, he came into the session different. He seemed worried, tired, concerned. We started with our visualization exercise and when I asked him who he saw himself with, he said the name of another man. He opened his eyes and stared at me, waiting for an answer –I didn’t know it was the first time he said out loud to anyone except her best friend and his sister, something about his sexuality- I asked who he was, the man, and David said he was just someone he had met, and whom he really liked. He never looked at me while talking, so I called him on this, and he said he felt embarrassed, like he was scared I might make a judgment, have a negative thought of disapproval. I asked him if he had told his family about his sexuality, and he said no with his head. I asked how that made him feel, and he just started crying. I tried comforting him, trying to support and understand his pain, his fear, his perspective; he calmed down and without looking at me, he asked me to help him come out.
The seventh and eighth session we worked on self-awareness, recognizing and acknowledging all of his true self. We worked a lot with visualization, having him make an effort to look inside and develop an image of himself, one that was more accurate, that would help him accept and embrace his sexuality.
Goals and expectations of the client
He wanted to find the strength to come out.
This are the words he chose to represent him once he had reach his goal
- To have love in his life
- To be and feel complete
- To be confident and self-aware
- To be grateful
- To always move forward
- To be constantly positive and energetic
- To be able to acknowledge himself
- To be able to love entirely himself
- To be strong and courageous
During the four sessions we did that month we worked on making come true his vision, creating actions that would empower him, re-framing negative perspectives, creating a new structure, one that he could rely on every day when his defense mechanisms would activate, and make him feel resistance or find a justification or all kinds of reasons not to keep making this little changes to embrace his true self. We worked a lot on his focus, we had to create a structure that would support his goal whether he was feeling determined, or whether he was emotionally exhausted, one that would empower David in his goal.
I started to leave some homework to David, and realized that in session it seemed like everything was going in the right direction, but that he wasn’t making any actions. So on the tenth session I decided to do a structure exercise, I asked:
- What can you bring into your routine to support you?
- What do you have now in your life to support this?
- How can these positive things you have around you, serve you?
- What do you need to let go to allow your goal to come true?
- What do you need to change so that your everyday shows the new pattern that you have chosen to follow?