Research Paper By Julia Gazizova
(Life Coach, UNITED STATES)
Hearing the term “single mother” stirs up a lot of emotion in me. Growing up in a split household influenced my own choices and led me to investigate this topic further.
According to www.Statista.com In 2019, about 15.76 million children were living with a single mother in the United States, and about 3.23 million children living with a single father.
According to www.pewresearch.org, the US had the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households.
Single-parent households can be difficult for the parent and the child and I wanted to show how a coaching approach can turn this perfect storm into a beautiful rainbow.
Fill Up Your Toolbox
- Self-love; you are enough and deserve to be loved and your child needs your love and 100% certainty that you always be there. Take your time to adjust to new changes in your life and be kind to yourself.
- Ask for help; realize that the world is kind and many people will be happy to help. Connect with your friends and family, this is not the time to hide.
- Responsibility; take pride in your own choices and move through your financial and social inventory. Reach out to your employer (notify, possibly ask for a raise, many companies have single parent resources)
- Mindfulness; recognize these are not easy times that will come with different emotions. Find time to recognize them, create strategies how to move through negative once and cherish and nurture positive ones
- Expand; realize this is your time to grow and persevere. Cultivate love for yourself and your baby; nurture yourself with kind words, thoughts, and actions.
- Set an example; you are the source of information for your child, lead by example. Create certainty for him/her of unconditional love, disciple, and structure.
Case Study 1
Katy recently found herself at the end of a relationship and pregnant. Initially, shocking news created havoc and stress.
After connecting with her coach, she came to realized that having a baby was something that she really wanted for a long time. Coming to that understanding helped her create strategies for becoming the healthy parent of a beautiful child.
She moved to realize how much support her family wanted to offer and that she did not need to make.
Once she opened up about this to her employer’s human resources department, a new maternity leave policy was approved quickly and she got a long-awaited raise.
Her friends organized a fun baby shower and her best friend supported her through delivery.
What seemed to be initially sad news to Katy turned around into an amazing experience for her. With her new and full toolbox, she is leaving a joyful life with a new baby, expanded possibilities, and planning to pass on those skills to her child.
Case Study 2
Joseph’s wife recently passed away and left him with three lovely sons. Initial grief and pain subsided and he reached out to a coach for self-exploration in this situation.
In this process, Joseph reorganized his schedule to spend more time with the children. Reorganized his team and find space to delegate many of his tasks. During his search for more fun in life, he picked up a new hobby and started to prepare for a triathlon, takes cooking classes (another fun activity to share with his children).
In their most recent conversation with his coach, he realized that ready to open himself up for dating again and finally respond with a “yes” answer to a date his friends were setting him up with.
In the end, single parenting does not have to be a stigma or a cross to carry. The client can choose what life he/she wants to live. Pack his toolbox with necessary items and approach this change with a positive and self-caring approach.