Research Paper By Ioannis Asimakis
(Life Coach, NORWAY)
Isn’t life to blame for the misfortunes that are happening to us, but the way we think?
“There are no men out there!” Many girls tell that they would love to have a relationship, but they are not doing so well. “Every relationship I make leads to disaster”
On the other hand, means say their own ‘Women are weird. They don’t know what they want “or” women are crazy, you can not understand them. “
Another common belief of many is that “relationships are difficult” or “love lasts only for six months”
If these are the general assumptions about relationships, how can others live a happy and loving life and make it seem so simple and easy?
Beliefs are not just about the difficulties of relationships, but about every aspect of our lives.
In finance, for example, how many times have we not heard that “Money is dirty” and “Money does not bring happiness” and yet everyone is chasing the money to find happiness. Isn’t it a paradox?
In the end, which of the above assumptions are true, and which are not, and what does need to do to live a beautiful life?
Is it the way we grew up?
Basic restrictive beliefs are created in the human mind between the first months until six years.
This is because the child’s brain has not fully matured before this age, and the child is primarily emotionally attached to what is hearing and experiencing, without being able to recognize the truth or the wrong of some of the things often repeats in the family or at home, and the environment (grandparents, uncles, friends).
But think about that. If you constantly call your child stupid, small, useless, it is most likely that the child will go through his life believing that it is not too smart or small and weak or that it was born to not succeed in life. After all, how to question something that mom and dad tell him, who in the child’s mind are the strongest, smartest, the only great, remarkable, smart, and wonderful people he knows!
After your 6
From the age of six, where the child begins to distinguish that some things are true and others may not, he can better classify the information he receives. The first beliefs, however, remain deeply rooted in the subconscious, and are an official truth, mainly because they will rarely be found in the conscious part and challenged unless at some point in his life works with himself with the help of an expert search understands how deeply rooted restrictive beliefs it may have. Restrictive beliefs define our thoughts, choices, decisions, and emotions.
But what can we do?
First of all, it is important to recognize that our perspective and decisions are based on what we believed when we were little kids, like (the world is bad) or personal limiting beliefs about our personality, character, and identity (I’m useless, I’m small, I’m stupid, I’m bad) It is always useful to ask as adults how true is that.
Finding my beliefs
It is relatively easy to find some of your own beliefs if you ask your self the question for example “what I believe about relationships”, “what I believe about money”, “what I believe about the world”?
From what you recognition you will find that it may not be your own experiences but they are things you have heard to your family or the friendly environment when you were a child. Believe the opinions of your parents or other people around you.
Then you will need to put your strengths and ask yourself again, how right is that you believe, how many relevant experiences you have had in your personal life. Do others believe different things and have different results from what you have in your life? Is it better or worse if eventually what you believed to be truly changed and consciously replaced with better and healthier beliefs?
Especially if you are one of those who think relationships are difficult, money is miserable, I am useless or the world is bad, and you find that this has become your reality. and you are facing great difficulties or fears.
Whatever you say, what you believe, this is what you will experience, and this is because your brain has exactly this information and it is impossible for you to lie!
Remember that your rational mind is the most amazing and faithful servant that whatever you say and believe, this will prove to you by deeds and facts (The story you tell every day to you and others is the story you finally live).
So ask yourself if what you have recorded is the only and indisputable truth. And then ask yourself, “Who is the truth?”, “Does everyone believe that?”, “Is that generally right? Is the whole world experiencing the same? “
You will realize that some people think differently and have different results in their lives. So decide how much it helps you to believe what you have recorded and what would happen if you started here and now tell yourself a whole different story such as’ money brings happiness’, ‘relationships are easy and enjoyable’, ‘ the world is good “,” there is plenty in the universe “and” now I am strong, worthy and able to do “!
You will find that in the beginning, you will need to make enough effort to exchange your old beliefs with new statements, but you will immediately find that when you say such beautiful things to yourself, he responds positively feels strong, and capable of changing all that is not your own.
And that is the first step towards a more beautiful, more powerful, and meaningful life.
How we can change our beliefs
First you create your beliefs. Then your beliefs create you. And when you go out into the world, people will confirm your beliefs. – Marisa Peer
It has been said that 10% of our lives are determined by uncontrollable situations and 90% by the way we respond to these situations.
The brain is a complex and highly effective mechanism that does a great job of converting repetitive patterns into automated reactions and habits. Our brains are trained to seek out the familiar and to resist change. And in many cases, this is necessary, because who wants to start the day looking for different ways to make breakfast?
However, there are many other instances where this tendency to ‘brainwash’ the habits can turn from restrictive to disastrous. A belief system is maintained for as long as we justify it, confirm it, and do not dispute it.
Failing to change an old belief, which not only no longer serves us, but perhaps keeps us immobilized, is not an easy task because the brain cannot maintain conflicting beliefs. You may, for example, consciously desire your financial well-being, but unconsciously believe that you are not worth it. In this case, you will not be able to improve your financial situation because our lives are controlled by about 97% of the unconscious mind and only 3% of the conscious, as neuroscientists argue.
Each of us is the source of our own experiences. So we need, if we want to change, to carefully observe and become aware of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, our lives, consciously or unconsciously, are largely determined by them.
The first step for anyone who wants to change their beliefs is to recognize them. One way to do this is to add the word “because” to statements like “I’m not smart enough.” Stating the reasons helps to say them out loud, we understand whether they are reasonable or not. This is usually how we become aware that our beliefs are based on an interpretation of the moment.
Secondly, we can question a particular belief. We ask ourselves, “What do I think is true?” “Is that completely 100% true?” “If it’s true, why is it so bad?” “How do I react when I think this is true?”
Another step is to ask ourselves, “Who would I be without this belief?” “How would I feel?” “How important is it for me to feel that way?”
It is usually at this point that we can reverse a belief, inactivate the negative, and replace it with a positive one.
We can reverse a belief, for example, if there is a belief “I am incapable”, we turn it into “I am capable” and ask ourselves: “Is this belief more true:” We are looking at the evidence that exists and reflect on the impact it will have on our lives.
One process many follow is to discover how and when a particular belief is established (almost always in our childhood with specific events). Then we imagine the scene and think what our friends would interpret about the incident. This is how we find many interpretations and discover that evidence would give a different meaning to the same event. So it turns out that the events are meaningless until we give them one. Then we return to the incident and give it a different meaning, and because emotions are not created by the event but by its interpretation, the new meaning (the new interpretation) weakens the belief.
We need to remember that the meaning we create for ourselves and the world is usually based on incorrect conclusions, so we can sabotage ourselves.
5 beliefs that will radically change your life
For most of my life, I was chasing success, acceptance, and happiness. I was attracted by the glow. In the end, none of it made sense. I read new books, followed spiritual paths and spiritual leaders. But even after all that, I felt bored, lost, left alone.
So, after realizing that none of my efforts worked, I made a radical change. Instead of looking for external factors, I turned to my inner world.
The happiness, success, and acceptance that I have been chasing for so many years have always been things I could not reach. It doesn’t matter how many successes I have had or how many people have said nice things about me or my job. Because if I can not believe all this, they would have no value.
Ιt doesn’t matter how the others look at me and their opinion about me, but the way I look myself. And that was a pretty sad finding. I spent years avoiding myself. I avoided looking in the mirror, looking at people in the eyes, ashamed of what I was, and what others might have thought of me.
Many people are particularly concerned about the opinion of others: will they like me? Is my idea good enough? Do they love me? But we cannot always subject ourselves to this process. We never ask if we like ourselves, whether our idea is great or if we love ourselves.
The crucial change came when I stopped focusing on what my life looked like and instead focused on how I felt.
My deep inner introspection revealed new things.
I had one more question: what more could I do to make myself feel better?
Moving forward in small steps, I was able to unfold one by one all aspects of the self-destructive behavior, shame, and insecurity I felt. After decades of shame, I began to feel compassion, kindness, and love.
I adopted the belief that there is a reason I go through this whole situation. I could choose to resist and go back to the life I lived or experience and embrace it as if I had chosen it myself – which I did eventually.
Our choice to embrace life must come from within us. Once that happens, your world will change forever. Choosing to accept yourself exactly as it is means real freedom. That’s exactly what I’ve been looking for for so many years in my life.
The emptiness I felt was because I didn’t take care of myself. Accepting myself more my life began to transform. I felt my job fill me up, my relationships become more meaningful, and, most importantly, I gained inner peace and the knowledge that everything was going well.
New knowledge and acceptance were born. It took me a while to love myself, but that started when I believed in something I couldn’t see or even feel. My guide was hope.
I had to adopt new beliefs to reach a new level of acceptance of myself. So if you’re ready to radically change your life, start believing in them too.
The invisible is real.
If you believe in the unknown, no matter what it is, you will change your standard of living.
If you have a goal, such as losing weight, raising a certain amount of money, or finding your sister’s soul but you do not believe it at all, you will feel that you will always strive harder. Believe in what you cannot see and turn inward to accept your true self.
Beliefs come true.
Our beliefs make up our reality. What we choose to believe determines the outcome. If I thought I didn’t deserve to be loved and felt resigned to life, then that would be my reality. But if I were to accept and appreciate myself, that would be my new reality.
There is always an option.
We are stuck in our fears. Everything we do is always a matter of choice. I was able to choose a different belief. By doing this, I was able to change my reality. I chose to believe in myself and that changed everything.
Everything you need is inside you.
If you find it hard to believe in yourself, know that you can change internally. Remember, just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not real. Some of the most wonderful things in the world we cannot see, but only feel with our hearts, such as love, forgiveness, faith, and trust.
Race and obstacles are part of a plan.
Everything you experience prepares you for what you wish to achieve. What you are experiencing today is part of a larger plan. Trust the course of life and instead of resisting, let go of it.
Believe in yourself and you will love it. This is already inside you. Just believe it.
How Does Life Coaching Help Us?
Every human being hides within him a huge force that needs to let him out. Sometimes great things can happen with a little push, a little guidance, a little support, and a little empowerment.
No matter how you look at yourself, life is tough. With so much pressure and obligations, it is clear that we often feel overwhelmed and anxious. As the weeks, months, and years go by, this pressure builds up, and our shoulders add more weight that we can’t lift.
Of course, we carry all that weight. We move forward and face what life brings us. As a result, we suffer. Our personal lives are degraded, our good habits fail and we fall back on the comforts and boundaries we have become accustomed to. It is easy to let our lives go by when we spend our time on unnecessary things daily.
That is why a good life coach is so important. Many times things are deeply ingrained in us that are difficult to see from a different perspective. It is difficult to understand and assimilate the possibilities in the world when we are used to operating automatically to ensure our safety for a long time.
For anyone who wants to excel in this world, a good life coach plays an essential role. I can think of hundreds of reasons a life coach can transform you and help you improve your abilities and behaviors to reach your goals.
What is a life coach?
In the sports world, we constantly hear about the coaches of top athletes. They sculpt and shape these people into who they are. When we talk about those who play a sport at the highest level, we often know that there is a coach built-in somewhere. But this is not just about sports.
At work or in life, we refer to these people as mentors. They guide us through very difficult times and guide us in the right direction to achieve our goals and dreams. It is difficult to see things for yourself from a different perspective and to understand what you are capable to do.
But not all of us have access to mentors. All of us do not have networking or contact with reputable people. That’s the beauty of having a life coach. You do not need to know someone who is rich or famous or has the key to success. All you need to do is seek the help of a life coach who can guide you.
So what is a life coach? It’s not just a mentor. It’s not just a friend. Not a trainer in the usual sense.
A life coach is a partner, someone who stands beside you in the most difficult and challenging moments of your life, capable of guiding you and making you see things differently, which will help you achieve your dreams.
Most of us are used to doing things our way unless we have an objective look at someone else who will show us things, we often fail to observe what holds us back. It is a monumental commitment to do this on your own.
A good Coach can help us get rid of the beliefs that block us by holding our lives back.
The most important step in liberating us from the beliefs that hold us captive is to accept that they are remnants of the past that no longer serve us and to make the decision to get rid of them.
Expanding our perspective, we could see beliefs, as part of our consciousness, that exploring it will provide us with endless opportunities for learning, development, and maturity. Our ancestors inherited the most appropriate phrase for this particular case: know myself