Research Paper: How Can Coaching Ease The Repatriation Process?
But there is more. Moving to the home country is one of the most difficult transitions children go through no matter how many other moves they have already made, especially when they are in their teenage years.
5.1. Why is re-entry so hard for so many children?
5.1.1 The normal challenges of any cross-cultural transition
- The grief of losing a world they have come to love;
- The discomfort of being out of cultural balance once more;
- The struggle to find a sense of belonging in a new place with new people.
5.1.2 Idealized view of home
The idea of going home, particularly for those having lived abroad and dreamed of going “home ” for years, conjures up memories of familiar places, familiar people and routines of particular patterns of actions. These memories are enhanced and embellished over the years and over the miles so, it is not surprising that the memory’s image does not always match the reality.
5.1.3 False expectations of total familiarity
Often children expect to be able to pick up exactly where they left off. A problem arises when reality doesn’t meet these expectations. Home may fall short of what they had envisioned.
It is important to explain clearly to children that they have changed during their period abroad. And so have their friends at home.
5.1.4 Lack of interest
Much frustration stems from what is perceived as disinterest by others in their experience and lack of opportunity to express their feelings and tell their stories. Nobody seems to really care.
This may result in: frustration, feelings of alienation, and mutual misunderstandings.
5.2. How can coaching be of help?
As stated earlier, the role of the parents is very important. They must realize that ultimately it is their responsibility to help their children through the re-entry phase.
But it is also the phase where the children could benefit a lot from a coach. Re-entry is the key period when they are most vulnerable to being swept up in a group of friends they would never have chosen under normal circumstances.
The coach can be of great help by:
- Listening to their worries and uncertainties;
- Helping them to realize they are not alone with their feelings;
- Stimulating them to keeping contact with friends living abroad;
- Learning them the basic survival skills for the home culture;
- Encouraging them to join new clubs and activities;
- Explaining that the adjustment takes time;
- Motivating them to write a journal of their feeling at home and memories of life abroad.
It is essential to keep the communication lines open and to talk openly about the transition process and its challenges.
6. Conclusion
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. Albert Einstein
Those part of the small percentage of the world’s citizens that has had the opportunity to live life on another culture’s terms, have probably found that the experience awakened their senses and led them to new understandings and personal growth.
Coming home might feel to them like a letdown after all that excitement. But it’s also an opportunity to put their new skills to use. Their challenge then is to take both the new knowledge and the exploration skills and integrate them permanently into their life ahead. It might sound like a daunting task, but with the help of a coach the newly discovered person is destined to thrive!
In the end, while most of the repatriates look back on their re-entry period as one of the most stressful parts of their international experience, they still wouldn’t have wanted to miss much of what they learned from the process.
Appendix
Examples of coaching questions for the assignee and the trailing spouse/partner
Before leaving the host country
- What are you looking forward to the most?
- What do you expect?
- In what ways might friends and family have changed?
- How would you like your family and friends to treat you when you return home?
- What have been the important things about this experience that you want to share with my family and friends
- What are you anxious about concerning your relocation?
- What are some skills you have learned?
- What are the lessons you have learned that you never want to forget?
- Many say that the experience of re-entry is more challenging than your initial move to another place. What are some things you might do to make the transition easier?
- What are the favorite aspects of the country you are leaving?
- What are the least favorite aspects of the country you are leaving?
- (once back home it is important to review this list in order to avoid that you will over-romanticize your experience abroad)
- What do you want to do with the experiences you have had (e.g., stay in touch with people I’ve met, continue with a new interest)?
- Think about each area of your life that is important and be clear about what you hope to achieve in each area?
- Are your priorities still the same as before your international experience?
- Are your values still the same as before your international experience?
- How will repatriation help you to honor these values?
After arrival in home country
- How has re-entry been?
- What have been the most challenging aspects of coming back into your home-based life?
- When you look back at the travel, what did you learn about yourself?
- What new insights do you have about your own culture?
- What applications do you foresee based on your new insights?
- What activities were most valuable to you?
- What activities could be eliminated?
- If you were to do it all over again, what would you change?
Job-related questions?
- What are your new experiences and skills? How to apply your new skills and experience in your organization?
- How to rekindle and develop previous business and personal relationships?
- How to discuss your overseas experience without becoming the “office bore”?
- How to develop an action plan to maximize your newly learned expertise for the well being of your organization and personal career development?
Examples of coaching questions for the children
- What does this repatriation mean to you?
- Did you have the chance to say goodbye to your friends?
- What are your expectations?
- What elements of your current life abroad would you like to maintain?
- How do you think this can be done?
- How are you going to keep contact with your current friends?
- Which hobbies would you like to maintain?
- What could you do to establish that?