The Coaching Process and competencies / tools used
The entire process took 4 months to complete, during which time, I had 7 sessions with Renuka.
The tools that I found worked very well was power of silence, powerful questioning, powerful listening, acknowledging and appreciating Renuka for her successes (small or big), using the power tools, responding vs reacting, responsibility vs blame and reframing perspectives and most of the coaching skills like looking at underlying beliefs.
Given below is a description of how Renuka’s transformation process took place:
1. How do I gel with people?
For a deeper understanding of connect, we started by looking at what prevented Renuka from opening up and talking to people. The conversation made her aware of her fears of being ridiculed for not having anything sensible and interesting to talk about.
She decided to take the action of starting to connect with her fellow colleagues in the training session. She chose a buddy who would help provide a safe space for her to open up and communicate.
The result was by the end of 4 months, she had made more friends than she had managed to in her 6 years of college!! She also realised very powerfully that it was her underlying belief (because of one or two episodes in the past) that people would ridicule her. And challenging that belief really excited her when she found people responding to her positively when she spoke to them.
2. How do I reinforce my self-confidence?
Renuka discovered through conversations that her low self-confidence was on account of the self-doubts that she had about herself and her constant fear of “What if?” She found when someone provided feedback, she was feeling “victimized” and was unable to take responsibility or question, but resorted to blaming both the other person and then herself.
Renuka explored various options and the action she chose to take here was look at every feedback from a different perspective, understand that each person has the freedom to have their own perception, check whether the feedback made sense and take responsibility for the same. She also decided, instead of reacting, she would respond in a positive manner when receiving feedback, accept and thank the person and take a serious look at the feedback received.
The impact was amazing. Like an eagle realizing that he is not a duck, Renuka’s self confidence bloomed and by the time the coaching was complete, Renuka’s self confidence was clearly visible through her presentations, her body language and her smile.
3. How do I restore my personality?
Renuka shared that in school she was a bubbly, fun-filled very positive person. Over the years on account of the depression and low self-esteem, she had become a person who rarely smiled, kept to herself all the time and looked mousy as well.
Through the visualisation process, Renuka was able to see the kind of personality that she wanted to become. She also realised that ‘she’ was responsible for this change in her personality. Through powerful listening and acknowledgement, I was able to make Renuka aware of how people are attracted to positive personalities and how both her earlier goals too were linked to her 3rd goal.
Few actions she decided to take immediately were:
- Keep a smiling and pleasant facial expressions
- Take the effort to say hello to people and do things necessary after that
- Make conversation and thereby understand what is important to her and to others
- Look forward to exploring new interests - like going with friends to watch movies or have dinner
- Engage in fun-filled activities.
By the end of our 4-month period, the transformation was visible to Renuka, myself and her colleagues also started commenting on the same which in turn boosted Renuka’s self confidence.
A Summary of the Approach based on ICF competencies, Model & Tools Used
- The sessions with Renuka were spread over a period of 4 months.
- All the sessions were Face to Face and had a duration of minimum 1 hour.
- On the basis of the trust built, Renuka was able to open up and share all that was bothering her and hampering her forward movement.
- The focus of every session, therefore, by her, became to take an action which would move her forward towards the goals that she wanted to achieve.
The Coaching Model used during the process
I used the GROW Model during this process as detailed below:
Outlining the Goals
The Goals were outlined very clearly and Renuka was happy to commit to them. Every conversation helped her map her progress and goal achievement.
By powerful questioning and delving into the challenges faced by Renuka, she was able to clearly see the reality and where she was getting stuck. This helped her to be clear about the actions she needed to take to move forward.
Renuka was able to identify various options to go from her reality to achievement of her goals. By using various coaching tools and following the ICF competencies, Renuka was able to select the suitable option that would help her achieve her goals.
Renuka’s amazing commitment to the goals and her positive approach to taking the action decided mutually, helped her to move forward and achieve the goals. Today too, her commitment to herself has allowed her to carve a way forward in the corporate world.