Think of a time when you did something you wanted to do and a time you did something you willed yourself to do. How different did each feel before, during and after the activity? Were you more energized by one versus the other? More than likely, if you are doing things out of will, you are depriving yourself of the lightness brought on by want-inspired activities. When you have to use your will to accomplish something, it is usually fraught with pain, mental and/or physical. Want power gives us a sense of more personal power. It gives us a greater sense of control. It gives us options. Will power limits our core self from experiencing joy in our lives because of the painful effort it requires. With will power we deny ourselves of feeling good because it requires sacrifice to satisfy a short term desire. Want Power creates freedom to live a more authentic life because we are being true to ourselves.
- How do you define want power?
- How do you define will power?
- How are you communicating with yourself? Are you laboring over the things you have to will yourself to do each day or are you enjoying what you are doing because you want to be doing them because of how they enrich your life?
- What is your approach to your life decisions? Do you will yourself to live each day doing what you have to or live doing the things you want to because you enjoy them?
When we “will” ourselves to do something, it is usually not an enjoyable experience because it is not something we “want” to do. Sure, we want the end result of what will power will bring us, but the path to get there is painful, and it need not be. When we shift to a place of want versus will, the process is just as enjoyable and rewarding as the goal itself.
We are all special and deserve the very best for ourselves. We deserve to take care of ourselves. Our dedication to self care is also a great model for others. When we allow ourselves to take the time to care for ourselves and do what we want to do outside of the daily grind, it rejuvenates us so we are better able to get through the day with more peace and joy.
As humans, there is rarely a time when we don’t want something. There are times when we have to will ourselves to get what we want and times when we simply make a choice to do it. The key thing to consider is how will power and want power serve our clients. We need to listen very carefully to the words they use. Clients use the word “want” quite often. It is often used in the context of what they do not want or how they are unable to get what they want. Here is where coaches can zero in using the simple, yet powerful question, “why?” This one word question helps clients think more specifically about what is blocking them from getting what they want in life. It also helps them open the doors of possibility to figure out ways to get what they want. In addition, sometimes when a client is unable to achieve what they want, it is warranted to investigate if it is really something they truly desire. Not achieving something can often simply be for a lack of want, which is important to investigate. Our clients may not really want what they think are unaware of it. Simply ask them what they REALLY want. Support them in refocusing their attention. Having them put their thoughts to spoken words brings them great clarity. Investigate how much will power they use to do things throughout the day and how it makes them feel. Then examine how they feel when they do the things they want to do.
It is helpful to have clients close their eyes and visualize doing the things they are passionate about. In this moment, allow them to feel any and all sensations that this image presents and talk about how it feels. Now ask them about the things that are blocking them from experiencing what they are imagining. If they are legitimately at a place in their lives where they feel this image is unachievable, ask them if they can spend time during the day, even if only for a few minutes, to picture what they want in their mind.
Visualization is a powerful tool to bring lightness to a situation, better focus, shift perspectives, and attract what we want into our lives, whether it is now or sometime in the future. The key thing is for clients to get to a place mentally where they can see what they want more clearly and then ways to get achieve what they desire. The idea is to give life to our wants, allow them to drive us, and allow that driving to create space and nourishment for all sorts of wonderful things that we deserve in our lives. The best thing about wants is that there’s absolutely no limit on how many of them you can have.
- How can you model the power of want to your clients?
- As a coach, what are some powerful questions you could ask your client to help them incorporate more of the things they want into their lives?
- What do you do if your client is stuck living on sheer will power?
- What tools can you use to support your client in moving from will power to want power?