Coaching Power Tool created by Susan Smith
(Life and Relationship Coach, CANADA)
Hope arouses, like nothing else can arouse, a passion for the possible.
By William Sloan Coffin
Life is a journey and on that journey are many trials and tribulations. During these times many of us encounter the feelings of hope and despair. We hope and pray for our loved ones who are sick or injured. We hope for better times, to find our life’s mission, better jobs, happier times etc. We lose a loved one, we lose our job, we go bankrupt, divorce, disease, natural disasters, accidents, fighting, being homeless, loneliness, addictions and many other situations that bring upon despair.
What is Hope?
Hope is an emotional belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s personal life. You take heart and look at the bright side. It brings about a feeling of enthusiasm and elated fearlessness that life is full of promise. Hope also implies a certain amount of perseverance, ie, believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.
What is Despair?
Despair is a heavy heart full of pain, sorrow and anguish. You become melancholy and look at life through gloomy eyes causing you to lose heart and surrender to depression. You feel like your stuck, you have no choices and nobody cares so why bother trying. Despair feels like a total loss of hope, which may be passive or drive one to furious efforts. Sometimes courage is born from despair.
QUESTIONS we can ask to find out if our client is in a state of despair.
- How do you start your day?
- What is working in your life?
- What do you want that you do not have now?
- What brings you joy and happiness?
- Where are you powerful in your life?
The answers to these questions will give us a good idea on how our clients look at life.
QUESTIONS to ask that can help move a client out of despair into hope.
- What was the cause of the pain and sorrow?
- In what ways did you contribute to it?
- What negative self talk do you have?
- What are you avoiding?
- What are some other ways to look at it?
- What toll is this taking?
- What are you grateful for?
When we realize that in some ways we have been responsible for our own situations it then gives us our power back which then gives us a place to start in making healthy choices. By doing some soul searching and finding out what the negative self talk is, we can then address the issues with affirmations, guided visualization, vision boards, a gratitude journal and people who can support us in our vision.