A Coaching Power Tool created by Stania Zbela
(Transformational Coaching, UNITED STATES)
You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.
Living in “beingness” in today’s fast-paced and complex modern world is a feat accomplished by all too few exemplary individuals while the majority slumbers on in oblivious state to the riches that lie at the core of their being. Masters of ancient paths and heroes of more contemporary times have not only left valuable clues, but also priceless instructions for the rest to follow, but alas, even they have been forgotten and swallowed by the great annals of human history. What little remains gets interpreted a thousand fold, repackaged, consumed, and left behind without leaving any significant mark on the human consciousness to move inward and began the long journey home. Instead, the average person acquiesces to the natural laws, the man-made laws, and the self-established laws of personal beliefs and values—having learned little from the vast body of existing knowledge; even worse, from one’s own experience. It is a world of relative predictability, complacent comfort and seeming security; it is a world devoid of great energy, unlimited potential, shared responsibility and creative vision. After all, it is much easier to cruise on collective speed than to define one’s own periphery.
Paradoxically, while the modern world is submerged in sleep at the deepest levels of its being, on the surface it’s all action: mobility at break-neck speed, spectacular feats in informatics and global exploits that make the planet heave and shudder. Today, however, it all hangs in balance under continuous encroachment of warfare and nuclear proliferation. Yet the vast majority slumbers on, happily surrendering its power in this dream state while the external world builds on yet another layer of misery, another filter of apathy.
As dramatic as it all sounds, it is also our reality which we all have co-created with one another and with the universal forces that make it all happen. We, who have been given so much, birthed so much, have created myriads of forms and expressions but with little lasting power when it is time for us to depart. Yet we depart impoverished at the innermost level of our being— the core that survives it all. We leave like lepers with rags of pride, greed, selfishness, ignoble behavior and excess shrouding the tiny speck of light that begets it all from the moment of our first breath.
What does this have to do with “beingness” and coaching? Everything! And more, for coaching is an emerging discipline that offers real guidance and support for people to grow into greater awareness and shared responsibility not only through healthy choices created via constructive action, but more importantly, through the cultivating of a deeper and deeper states of awareness that allows authenticity coupled with deep caring to finally emerge where it should have always remained had it not been for the seduction of illusory power masking our one and only true power that resides deep within each one of us—love, ultimately.
Love of oneself, love of the other, love of creation, love of the form. It need not move further than that, for that’s where we began losing our sense of truth, wonder and appreciation. We step into dangerous territory of greed, control, manipulation and enslavement firstly of ourselves and then of others; secondly, of our intellectual abilities and our creative powers; and lastly, of the forms, enterprises, conditions and states we have created. The game begins and so do the story, the masking and then the layering. The entire process even has the semblance of joy and productivity as it can be quite fun and challenging; meanwhile, it quickly gulps down the precious time given to us momentarily. And that is perhaps why it is all so difficult and so confusing to retrace our steps back to our authentic innermost self where love reigns supreme.
What exactly is beingness? Is it being in the present moment? Is it seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, feeling, sensing? Is it understanding ourselves and understanding others? Is it having empathy and caring? Is it being in service to ourselves as well as in service to others? Is it all these and so much more: The state of beingness is not any ability per say but more of a consciousness dynamic carefully cultivated and attained through willful development of existing faculties unique to each one of us. It comprises our individual gifts and talents, our intellectual and emotional faculties, and the careful nurturing of empathy and team work entirely unique to the human species. And none of these need ever stagnate with the advancement of age or the onset of illness. If we were to embody beingness with the above attributes and shared them freely with everyone on this planet— starting with our family, friends and communities, the collective consciousness would indelibly receive a boost of the most powerful affirmations available to everyone and directly from the inexhaustible inner source buried inside of us. A shared vision of goodwill for all, regardless of personality or individual differentiation would then become our new co-creative reality where mutual respect and genuine caring became the springboard of every action. Such should be our aspiration! But the embodiment of beingness is not a one shot deal of only bringing presence into the every day moment; rather, it demands a careful development of mindfulness cultivated at different stages of inner growth complemented by the innermost unfoldment of the spirit. (Please see my Integral Growth Model.) Only then the state of beingness becomes a tangible reality accessible to us through any one of our faculties and lived out abundantly and creatively and always from within. Goodbye external attachments and all the hang ups therein!
The three main stages of development
Unquestionably, the state of beingness comprises multiple stages of development and consequent expression necessary to the measuring, maintaining and further advancement of this seemingly obscure state of consciousness which requires a willful application of energy (clarity and focus) especially at the inception stage. However, for the purpose of brevity and commencement, only the three main stages of development need to be discussed to capture the benefits of the entire model.
In order to know ourselves we must first look within. This concept grounded in ancient wisdom speaks to the heart grounded in emotion and the mind beginning to sense itself outside of the boundaries of daily patterns and habits. It is a place permeated by an innate creativity and expansiveness better known as freedom which aligns us with the intrinsic flow of life expressing itself through its mutable form. This place within is intimate, quietly charged with thoughts often culminating with emotion, and always uniquely our own. It is also imbued with mystery as it remains largely unexplored. Although available to us at any moment, we rarely go there purposely; rather, we allow instinct or necessity to take us there when we are least aware of it. The key point to understand here is the origin of beingness, not necessarily epistemologically, but as experienced by us practically in our quotidian habits and personal demeanor.
We all experience beingness daily but to varying degrees, lengths of time and scope of intensity. Perhaps the most common experience to us all is the arresting of the moment and being fully present whenever we need to focus on something of importance—be it work, hobby, or even meditation. Inversely, the energy expanded by sustained focus needs to be replenished systematically in order for the experience to bring meaning to our lives. In the instance of hobbying, the energy expanded can be sustained longer than with a work task, and much longer than in meditation even if meditation is the very instrument of garnering mindfulness and ultimately sustained beingness. Paradoxically, there is no physical exertion in meditation as in the other two activities, but people resist the invitation at all costs. And yet, it is the first gate that must be opened before we can gain entrance to the vicinity of our inner or higher self. Everything else is a child’s play masquerading as grown-up theater. However, this too is a key point of contention; otherwise, we could not truly know ourselves.