Power Tool: Individuality vs. Conformity

A Coaching Power Tool created by Sabrina Sassi
(Life Coach, SPAIN)

If you believe in yourself, you will gain the confidence of the world around you. Emerson

Reading

As humans our lives are centered on that thin line that separates individuality from conformity. Many times in our daily lives, we are challenged with deciding how far to stray from that line and to which side.

Individuality, meaning:

the quality or character of a person or thing that distinguishes them from others of the same kind.

(Google dictionary) Conformity:

the behavior in accordance with socially accepted conventions or standards.

(Google dictionary) Both are essential to us.

Conformity

People look for acceptance and generally desire to being to a group, a community and that is one of our most important goals in life. We naturally want to belong to something bigger by following patterns of behavior established by our families, the education system and community.

Conformity is a form of the social influence that manifests change in belief or behaviour of the individual, in order to blend better into a group. This change is in response to real (involving the physical presence of others) or imagined (involving perceived social expectations) pressure.

Conformity can create unbalance when it starts to pressure us, as for example to be as any one else, to think as the group, to act “good”. We all deep down want to belong and conformity gives us a social, political, cultural, ect structure that we need. But it should not set up limitations on individuality.

Individuality

At one point we want to be different from all the rest in one way or another. So we might dress a bit differently and choose to do things we really like. And, for once, we might form our opinions based on what we really feel. However, sooner or later we are forced to curb our spontaneous desires so that society does not label us as eccentric or weird, simply because we fear being alone.

But if we do ignore our individuality, our uniqueness and become this pattern of conformity how could it be possible to feel fulfilled and yourself? Every person is a unique individual and that means that the best way to stand out as different is to become the best possible version of yourself. When you focus on being YOU, there is no competition and no reason to make comparisons. This is the essence of individuality.

Case Study

Sara is a young woman in her early thirties, intelligent and joyful. She works as a writer in a local newspaper. It is a good paid job and she lives close to family and friends. Sara’s dilemma, is that she always dreamt about travelling around the world, discovering cultures and write a book about her journeys. As the years go by she pushes the dream aside for living a life she things is best for her and others. She can almost invest in a new apartment and maybe soon fall in love and build a family, a home. A dear friend of hers came back in town to visit her; she is a photographer for Worldreport. She is travelling all around the world, asking Sara “ When are you going to fulfil your dream?” Sara shared her concerns of not being able to leave her parents, she wants to be close to her sister and hopefully soon buy a new apartment. When her friend asked her if she is really happy,Sara stayed silent. Her friend told her that there are looking for a fresh writer at her job and that Sara should apply.

After her meeting with her dear friend, Sara couldn’t stop dreaming about the travels she could do and all the writing. What if I just do it? She felt this powerful energy in her body and having a big smile. She started to do some researches on the company and found that it reflects her way of working and creativity and that she could be happy fulfilling her dream. But to leave her hometown, to let go her “plan” she felt afraid and that it would be to hard for the others to understand, she would be too different, it is to difficult to explain, but Sara asked herself again: “what if I apply?”