These two things are not mutually exclusive, but if it turns out that our only available time to study or to work out is in the evening, then we might make a decision based on our core values. If it is currently more important to us to have a healthy lifestyle than it is to become an architect, then we will start the new fitness program. This could result in a feeling that we “can’t” become an architect and that we are stuck. We have lost sight of our freedom of choice. What are your values? Is there a value conflict that needs to be explored?
Freedom doesn’t always have to mean drastic outward change. Freedom can also mean making a choice to see our current situation differently, getting out of our comfort zone, or opening ourselves up to some creative thinking or new approaches to a current situation.
Here are some ways to help your client discover their freedom and shift them from limitation.
Asking questions and learning more about the situation in which the client feels limited somehow. Why do they feel this limitation? Is this limitation true or is it only the client’s perception? How does the client know that this is true?
What would the situation look like if the “chain” was no longer in place and the perceived obstacle(s) were removed? What would happen then? What does that look like? How does it feel to the client to have those obstacles removed?
Fears/Underlying Beliefs: Are the limitations really underlying beliefs? How are these beliefs serving the client? Are they operating under a (possibly) false sense of security? Are they operating from a place of fear?
What are the client’s values? Is there a possible value conflict in place? The client may not be aware of their values, so this can be an opportunity to explore values and determine what the client’s core values are and how they are affected by them.
Is this a situation where some reframing is needed? For example, if a client believes that they are “too old” to do something, is there an example that they can come up with to negate this belief? Is there a time when they achieved something even though they thought they couldn’t? If the limitation were removed completely, what happens then?
- Where in your life do you feel that you are stuck or limited? Why?
- Is there a “chain” that holds you back? What might it be?
- Is it true? Or is it only a belief that it is true?
- What if this “chain” was removed? What shifts need to take place?
- What are your values? Is there a conflict in values between what you desire and what it would take to achieve it?
- Are there any action(s) can you take to create freedom in a particular situation where you feel limited?
Quote: Sir Vidiadhar Surajprasad “V.S.” Naipaul (b. 1932), Trinidadian writer of Indian descent. Won the Nobel Literature Prize in 2001.
ICA Learning Level 1 Module: Values and Life Purpose
Byron Katie, http://www.thework.com