Power Tool: Fear vs. Courage

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Raluca Daniela Hritcu
(Business Coach, ROMANIA)

Fear

Fear has inaction as a main consequence. Fear triggers instinctive reactions of either running away from something or of freezing in front of a threat.

Running away forever is not an option when faced with life choices, so it eventually leads to freezing, or inaction.

People become stuck and get used to less than what they dreamt about themselves and their lives.

In an article of Psychology Today, it is mentioned that we all actually face 5 fears:

1. Extinction— the fear of death, of not existing any more.
2. Mutilation— the fear of losing any part of our precious bodily structure
3. Loss of Autonomy— the fear of being immobilized, restricted, enveloped, overwhelmed, entrapped, imprisoned, smothered, or otherwise controlled by circumstances beyond our control.
4. Separation—the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person—not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else.
5. Ego-death—the fear of humiliation, shame, or any other mechanism of profound self-disapproval that threatens the loss of integrity of the Self;

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainsnacks/201203/the-only-5-fears-we-all-share

Sometimes people do not act because of these 5 main types of fear, but then they post-rationalize and they disguise their inaction using very reasonable arguments that only keep them inactive for longer. A coach might help a client become aware of the fears that block him/ her

Courage

Courage, as defined by Roosevelt is

not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.

Courage is an empowering perspective, because it allows people to always extend their limits, to try and to fail repeatedly, until they succeed. Courage is a form of understanding and “taming” the fear and it gives people a feeling of control over their own lives, of responsibility for their actions and of ownership for their deeds.

Courage creates change and takes clients closer to their ideal self. Courage is like a muscle and, just like any other muscle, it becomes stronger with exercise.

Small acts of courage, repeated daily, lead to life shifts and to extraordinary stories of becoming the master of one’s life.

Questions to be used to switch perspectives from fear to courage:

• What is the danger here?
• What is the worst thing that could happen?
• What could you do if you were fearless?
• If courage is something you suddenly receive as a miraculous gift, what would you do with it?
• What is a courageous perspective of your current situation?
• Who are you when you have courage?