A Coaching Power Tool created by Raluca Chinole
(Executive Coach, ROMANIA)
Desire is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome. The same sense is expressed by emotions such as “craving” or “hankering”. When a person desires something or someone, their sense of longing is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of the item or person, and they want to take actions to obtain their goal. The motivational aspect of desire has long been noted by philosophers; Hobbes (1588–1679) asserted that human desire is the fundamental motivation of all human action. Wikipedia
We all have desires. Those motivate us to achieve different things. We all are motivate by different things and not always we are able to identify what really motivates us. But on the conscious level the perception is that the biggest a desire is, more motivated we are.
Take a moment to think about the goals you’ve set for yourself. How committed are you to achieving these goals? Under what conditions would you give up?
When you are truly 100% committed to reaching your goals, you move from hoping to knowing. If you want something badly enough, then quitting is simply not an option. You either find a way or make one. You pay the price, whatever it takes.
However not always our desires represents truly what we want or what is possible.
First, if we base our desires on what we see others have and come from our ego there is a pretty big chance that what we want is a false objective. For example, our neighbor has a very expensive car. We want one too, but not because that car represents us or because we really want it. Just because we want to show him that we can too, we have money too. Sometimes that means we choose to renounce to thing that we really need, to many little thing that will make us happy. OK, we get that car but the happiness we get is for a short period of time and then we start to ask ourselves: why did you did it?
Secondly, we have desires, the real ones, that motivates us, that will make us happy and fulfilled. Great.
But sometimes there is an incongruence between what we desire and the time frame or resources we have for achieving what we want. And in that moment we are entering in an disempowering perspective in which we do not think anymore our desire will come true.
For this reason we often abandon our desires and living with a sense of emptiness and unfulfillment.
The gap between desire and possibility is not always observed by people. Not being possible in the time frame we want doesn’t mean it is not possible at all. It’s just means we need to see things from another perspective and make some adjustments in order that thing to become possible.
In the moment we have a desire we already have a life, we have obligations, we have duties, families and a lot of other things to take into consideration. All those things are important for us. But some how we tend to forget about them when we want something new. And suddenly we discover things are not working as we want.