A Coaching Power Tool Created by Radhika Darbari
(Transformational & Business Coach, HONG KONG)
Coaching is all about awakening individuals to self-awareness; to be present, but also to ignite their inner strength to resist sleeping when opportunities arise.
Inline The Holistic Coaching Group Ltd’s, Founder Radhika Darbari created a Power Tool we call Asleep vs Awake. An easy, simple opposite this power tool helps coaches and coaches alike to be reminded that for every situation there is a choice we make whether to act or not. Being aware and owning your decision is key to ongoing success.
Being ‘awake’ and active in every situation is not fruitful at a business or at home. Ensuring you are awake when it matters, on the other hand, is paramount. Let me explain that a bit more by asking you to think back to the last time an opportunity arose with friends or at work to do some exciting and new. You resisted to join due to either an underlying lack of enthusiasm for some individuals in the group or you were simply distracted? The result you were either to slow to react and take the opportunity in front of you. Or you inherently inclined to be silent or what I would say ‘slept’ letting the moment pass. At the time you were present and able to hear, but in fact, you were not really there.
Using the powerful reminder of the Asleep vs Awake power tool every morning you will become naturally more conscious of these situations – and in line not shy to dance at the moment and take good opportunities when they arise. Awareness of your possible inclinations that can hold you back, you now take control, wake up when needed to not only better your control but also your outcomes.
But being awake is not always the right option and also not the only other reality. We also can often think we are awake when in truth we may as well be sleeping; Asleep. This is a case we as coaches commonly find in unmotivated employees. Are they working and doing their job? On the surface, yes, but dig deeper and they are unhappy, unmotivated and in line have become like robots in the workplace; rather than the dynamic, enthusiastic or value-adding and happy employees they were on arrival. In most of these scenarios the individual is not even conscious that they are ‘Sleeping’. They drift day after day doing a routine possibly so shut off with low energy to even realize they have stopped hearing, seeing or noticing opportunities that come up in conversations, meetings, e-mail or chats.
With this scenario, the use of this tool acts as a reminder that there should only be two options:
- One is choosing to be asleep. (Awake but choosing to be silent and acting as an observer)
- The other is choosing to be awake. (Awake and actively participating)
‘Asleep’ however without consciousness means you are in limbo. You are prone to missing opportunities and/or likely to become oblivious in due time what opportunity even means or how to open the door to it. Why from a health perspective should you also not let yourself get to this state? Because we are all humans/creatures – emotions happy or sad is what makes us tick and feel alive and in line being completely turned off, means an increased chance of us becoming apathetic or achieving positive change – a key goal in Coaching.
So what is the last and final way you can use the Asleep vs Awake Power Tool? As mentioned being purely awake may not always be the right option. It is the being awake and in control that is key. Imagine now you are in a situation where your team is with your boss and she/he has just gone crazy over a bad project outcome. He/She ask’s who is at fault and what will be the solution. You know the person at fault is your peer, but highlighting that you realize adds no value to solving the problem. Should you be awake and speak up at this point? Or ‘sleep’, letting your peer choose to own his own relationship with your shared boss to answer this question? On the other hand in regard to some options to solve the problem, you do have some ideas and think your suggestions could help the team. How could you effectively balance the use of being asleep vs awake to turn this bad scenario into a positive one for both you personally to gain and the team? Got some ideas? Fantastic.
This is a prime example where most likely you will find there are some high emotions and strong characters. Being full-on ‘Awake’ and interactive may not be the best way. Inline using ‘Sleep’ in the right context here balanced with ‘Awake’ to participate in this discussion will be the likely best approach to this individual or you turning this situation from one purely associated with negativity to one with a positive outcome. By being initially asleep and not naming your peer – you show respect to his right to own his actions, letting the high emotions calm slightly. Through being a sleeping party first and then awaking at the right time when valuable input will be accepted. This individual or now you will leave the room seen as humbled by your peers and boss for not ‘saying I told you so’, as well as a recognized problem solver/team player for what will likely be a composed reaction with only pure ‘Helpful advice/suggestions’.
Is the art of being conscious of and knowing when to switch between being asleep vs awake easy? Not at all. But remind yourself daily that in every situation you do have a choice between the two and you will thrive.
