Anna reveals that the most energizing for her is dancing, that’s why she goes to the night club, especially when she feels alone. Dancing with someone gives her the opportunity to share a dance with someone, to share a part of her life with someone. Anna enjoys the process of dancing; she could do it 5 nights a week if she had not to go to work. Anna remembers that she was a professional dancer before accepting an offer from a famous IT company to be their selling consultant, and actually she felt the most alive during the dancing competitions.
Living through the process makes us feel alive with the only condition that the process lead to the goal which is truly desired from the bottom of the heart. Being in the every moment which is happening and we have not the influence on to let it happen or not, we have the influence to fill it with anything we want. If we are filling it with someone else’s way of living, imposed events, we do not feel the satisfaction of what is happening, we do not get the fuel of happiness, love and joy to move forward effectively. The structure and events (like in Anna’s case) can be imposed by society, family, friends, management, and corporations and so on. The only way to find out our own way to fulfil our dreams and to achieve our goals is to look inside and have a positive exploratory conversation.
Being result-oriented and process-driven person.
During that session Anna came to the conclusion that the only true result she would like to achieve is to make her life more meaningful by doing everything she really likes. She put aside running, the best way of burning calories and restarted her dancing classes. She wasn’t pressed to find any motivation and false commitment; she wanted to dance for the whole life! The physical load she had during dancing classes let her to use nights more effectively, to rest more, she had tango milongas (dancing events) on weekends. She was able to start eating more healthy food, because she needed more energy. When one dancing club asked her to lead some dancing classes – she agreed and when the amount of the classes became sufficient to maintain and even improve her financial situation, she left the job at IT Company. She started to travel a lot around the world with her master-classes and she met a personal trainer on the train Barcelona – Madrid last year. Now they are developing a tango-therapy school in Barcelona and the wedding is planned for the next summer. And yes, she didn’t knew the answer on what is her weight now, she was just happy without knowing it.
In coaching the most essential and common questions are
- What do you really want?
- What do you want to achieve?
- What is the desired result?
So, the result itself is a kind of measuring moving towards the desired goal.
- And what if an economic crisis will occur again?
- What if the money disappears?
- What if we will be captured by aliens?
- What will stay with us forever?
- Our bank accounts, apartments, jobs or our experience, love?
The other important set of questions and issues to explore are:
- How would you like to achieve it? Exactly you, not somebody else.
- Exactly with your unique combination of skills and experience What makes you happy?
- Where do you feel more comfortable?
Imagine if the result would appear immediately after the magic wand movement. We accept that every goal is achievable, but some goals just take more time to achieve. So imagine we wish-we have. We wish again – and we have it! What an easy world would we have to live in! But after some successful wishes it would become very boring, the wishes would be repeated, there would be not inner work needed to get something.
When we reflect to the most difficult challenges – what do we remember more – the challenge itself or the moment of realisation that the challenge is over?
- Adjusting the desired goal is the main issue we have to clarify before starting to move in the direction of our journey. Setting our personal goals which are not imposed by someone from outside is absolutely important for our motivation and commitment. Understanding our own values, mission, tastes, specific characteristics, knowing who we are incredibly increases the probability of following our inner calling and true self.
- Be prepared that the result might differ from the first version you created in your mind. The dose of curiosity and flexibility is needed to see and accept the true outcome from the process of achieving the goal. If we have failed the driving exam is there any learning we can take away from the process of passing the exam?
- Being in the present state of mind brings the process to the main place and allows being happy right away; there is no need to wait till everything is done!
- Are you a process-oriented or result-oriented person?
- What are the instruments for better exploration of your true self?
- How do you respond if you know that there is no more to be done, but the desired outcome doesn’t meet the reality?
- What is the most valuable – how to figure the real take-away from the situation?
- What was the most difficult challenge in your life? What kept you moving forward then?
- What are the advantages of being result-oriented and process-oriented person?
- What would you do with the magic wand if you had one? What is not achievable with the simple magic wand?