As a coach, Cruly Martin, says o
Our job is to close the gap between thinking about doing and actually doing.
It‘s valuable to consider the
OUT LOUD approach when helping clients to DEFINE and REFINE (Realization coaching model) what they want to acheive.
In K.’s case, she knows that keeping silent does not help her to acoomplish her ambitions but it is not an easy step for her. How can we support the client in finding courage to say it OUT LOUD?
Strategy to support a client with saying OUT LOUD :
1) Address the fears – Help them to figure out where they are with fears.
- Tell me what keeping silence is all about?
- How does your body feel when you hold emotions in?
- Think about one situation where you are putting on hold, what do you feel?
- What are your feelings trying to tell (communicate to) you?
- Turn up the volume of your inner voice and tell me what is it really saying?
- What is the name of this fear?
- What does this fear do to you?
2) Address underlying beliefs – Help them to figure out how they are currently protecting themselves form vulnerability.
- What is holding you back from saying OUT LOUD?
- What you would need to believe in order to change?
- What drives your fear of being vulnerable?
- How do you protect yourself from the vulnerability?
- What price are you paying when you put on hold?
- What would you have to beleive in order to have success in saying OUT LOUD?
3) Create a shift in Perspective
What if you had unlimited courage and knew you could not fail, what actions would you take?
Where do you want to be braver?
4) Let them dream.
What is your biggest dream?
We have to be attentive that speaking out is good, but it’s not for everyone. Not all of us like to use our vocal cords when expressing ourselves. Some of us are more reflective, have other means of communication. There are numerous ways of making sense of the stuff inside us-writing, drawing, painting, making music, signing. It’s about expressing yourself to yourself and to the world. It’s formulating your ideas, expressing your creativity in whatever way makes sense to you.
5) Mindfulness is a good place to start.
Helping the client practice being aware of the present, of our thoughts, feelings and emotions.
6) Practice gratitude and self-kindness.
Be grateful for what you have and share your gratitude with others. Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail or feel pain rather than flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.
As every coaching journey has its uniqueness this tool may be one of many tools we can utilize in our coaching process.
- What does it feel like when you keep silent?
- What does being seen mean to you?
- Think about a situation when you decided to say it out loud. What led to that action?
- In what context do you notice yourself becoming courageous?
- What techniques can you develop to feed your courage?
- What gives you the courage?
- What does being vulnerable by saying out loud bring to you?
…putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of feeling hurt. But…I can honestly say that nothing is uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I’m standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to SHOW UP and let myself be seen. Brené Brown
Brown, Brené. (2012) Daring Greatly – How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead. London, The Penguin Group.