A Coaching Power Tool created by Miriam Dancziger
(Life Fulfillment Coach, UNITED STATES)
potentiality: latent or inherent capacity or ability for growth, fulfillment, etc.
reality: the state of things as they are or appear to be, rather than as one might wish them to be (World English Dictionary)
Everyone is busy these days. Busy with work, busy with family, busy with their home, busy with their community. Busy, busy, busy. Look around – all you can see are people rushing from one place to the next, from one task to another. This is the reality that most of us live in.
Of course, we try to enjoy the moments of our lives when we pause to catch our breath, but in our instant, information-packed world, these moments are becoming fewer and fewer. They are more and more difficult to grasp. And this is the reality that we are living in.
It is so easy to get bogged down in the daily grind of life, in the never-ending routine which pushes us swiftly from one thing to the next. Our lives hold us captive. We are prisoners of our reality.
How is it possible to escape the clutches of reality? How can we break free of the monotony of our routine?
The solution is to look toward the potentiality in our lives. Taking a minute to stop, look toward the future, and envision what we want from our lives can do so much for us. Pausing to catch our breath and dream about the future can reinvigorate us and re-energize our lives. Looking at the unlimited potentiality we have in our lives can allow us to take charge and mold our lives to our ideals.
Case Study:
Amanda is a single 34-year-old working mother of three young children. She came to her coach because she was frustrated with the monotony of her life and the lack of fulfillment she was feeling. Her coach asked her to describe a typical day in her life. Amanda described her daily routine: I usually wake up at 6am and then spend the next hour and a half rushing around, dressing my children, feeding them breakfast, and packing lunches for everyone to take. We get out the door by 7:30 and then drive through the morning traffic to drop my youngest child off at his daycare center. I then bring my older two children to school and head to work. My workday consists of trying to balance my boss’s demands without getting too overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to handle. The one bright spot of my workday is my lunch hour, which I spend with my best friend who works in the next building over. I run out of the office at 5:00pm on the dot, drive back through the afternoon traffic and pick up my kids.
We usually make a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for dinner. When we get home, I deal with the chaos of preparing dinner, trying to give the kids some attention, and helping my oldest child with her homework. After dinner I bathe the kids and get them into bed, usually by 8:30.
At this point, I allow myself to rest for a couple minutes before I force myself to get back up to clean up and do some laundry. I end up falling into bed around 10:00, maybe browse a magazine for a few minutes, and then fall asleep.
This is Amanda’s reality and it’s not hard to understand why she feels burned out. She is rushing through her day fulfilling her responsibilities with barely any respite. She goes to sleep at night knowing that the next day will be the same thing all over again.
Amanda needs to make a shift in her perspective. She needs to acknowledge the reality she is living right now, but then look at the potentiality her life holds. Does she want to continue living like this or is she willing to take the leap and design a life of fulfillment for herself? The potentiality is there – she can create any kind of life she wants to live.
Shifting from reality to potentiality gives Amanda hope for the future. It allows her to take control of her life and change the things that she does not want to continue. This shift gives her permission to dream.
Questions the coach can ask the client to help them shift from reality to potentiality:
- What do you enjoy in your present reality?
- What would you change if you could?
- How can you take the first step toward implementing that change?
- If you could become anyone, who would you want to be?
- What do you want to accomplish in your life?
- What do you love doing and how can you fit more of that into your life?
- If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
- What does your ideal relationship look like?
Asking these questions opens the client up to understanding that he can change his life. These questions encourage the client to dream about a better future for himself. Looking at the potentiality in his life frees him from his reality, allowing him to create a life he loves.