Our own internal dialogue can sometimes keep us in a place of complacency. The words, “I can’t” sometimes creep into our minds and mouths. We should refrain from using “I can’t.” If it’s the right thing to do, then we can do it. Realize that every time we say, “I can’t,” it holds us back from growing. We can help our clients become more aware of their own level of complacency and motivation by guiding them through this simple exercise.
- Make a list of all the things you would like to do or that you desire. For example, “I can’t find my soul mate,” or “I can’t land my dream job.” Everyone has hundreds of these “I can’t’s” floating around.
- Next, sort through your list and circle all of the “I don’t feel like it.” You will find that ninety-nine percent of the “I can’t’s” are really an excuse for “I don’t feel like it.”
- Then ask yourself, are you backing off because it takes more effort? Or perhaps you lack the confidence to succeed? Consider each item on your list. Commit to turning the “I can’t” into “I will.”
Life starts moving forward for us when we actively make things happen, instead of allowing things to passively happen to us.
You could use the following questions to advance a coaching conversation:
- What’s happening?
- What do you want to happen?
- What are the next steps?
- When will you take those steps?
- How can I help?
- What drives you today?
- What is the difference between when you were starting and how you are feeling now?
- What will be different for you if you take action?
- What more will you gain by taking a risk versus staying in the safety zone?
- What’s most concerning for you?
- What makes this so important to you?
- What’s really at stake for you here?
The pursuit of success is full of some failures. In fact, the more we fail, the greater our success. History is chock-a-block full of people who might never have made a success of their lives without some big challenges.
Zig Ziglar once said, "Failure is an event, not a person." See if you can figure out who's who in these descriptions. (Answers found at bottom.)
A.) He failed the sixth grade and was defeated in every single election for public office until he became Prime Minister at the young age of 62.
B.) He was booed from the podium when he first released his ideas, and was considered an outcast by his peers and the scientific community.
C.) In the first year of her contract, she was dropped by her producers because they thought she was unattractive and couldn't act.
D.) He did not speak until he was four years old, and couldn't read until he was seven. His parents thought he was "sub-normal." He was expelled from school and his teachers described him as "mentally slow, unsociable and a drip forever in foolish dreams."
E.) He was fired after his first performance at the Grand Ole Opry and told by the manager, "You ain't going nowhere son, you otta go back to driving a truck."
F.) She was broke, living on welfare, severely depressed, divorced and a single mother while attending school and attempting to write her first novel.
G.) After a screen test, the memo from the director read, "can't act, can't sing, slightly bald, can dance...a little."
H.) A professor suggested he drop out of the English department and college altogether. At his very first job, he was paid in cases of shaving cream, soda and nail clippers. His first book was rejected by 27 publishers before printers accepted it.
I.) Enduring a rough and often abusive childhood, she faced numerous career setbacks including being fired from her first job because she was unfit for TV.
J.) He was told by Emperor Ferdinand that his operas were "far too noisy" and contained "far too many notes."
K.) They said he was too small and didn't skate well enough. Yet, he set the standard for grit, courage, skill and humility.
A) Winston Churchill; B) Sigmund Freud; C) Marilyn Monroe; D) Albert Einstein; E) Elvis Presley; F) J.K. Rowling; G) Fred Astaire; H) Dr. Seuss; I) Oprah Winfrey; J) Wolfgang Mozart; K) Stan "Steamer" Smyl - Vancouver Canucks.