A Coaching Power Tool created by Maria Isabel Valle
(Executive, Leadership and Expatriate Coaching, BRUNEI)
Most of us have felt victims at one point or another. Perhaps this was due to circumstances that were completely out of our control. Perhaps we knew deep down that we didn’t want to feel as a victim, but didn’t know how to change it. Perhaps we felt that we were born victims and endured past experiences that confirmed our victim status for life. But perhaps we also felt the need to do better, be better and change our personal or professional circumstances, only to be frozen by doubt and fear. And then perhaps there was a time when you wanted something so badly that you rose above your own fears and followed suit.
- What enabled you to do so?
- And if you succeeded in doing so, how could you also apply the same courage and determination to other areas in your own life?
- Do you consider yourself a leader or a victim?
- What is your understanding of both concepts?
- In what areas of your life do you feel you are succeeding?
- What are those areas you know you could do better and yet you are unable to change?
- Are you happy being a victim or a leader?
- Would you like to change but don’t know how?
- Have you ever even considered the possibility that you could change?
This is where coaching can help you create the life you want. But, if given the opportunity to change, would you want to?
I am here to tell you that you don’t have to be or feel like a victim. You have the ability to become a leader in any area you choose to. You are the very person who dictates whether to assume a leader or a victim’s role. The one person with the most influence over you is simply yourself. You have the ability to support or block your own growth, despite any other external influences presented.
Firstly let me start by telling you that leaders are not born, they are made. Leaders are not just those leading and influencing others. Leaders have the ability to lead themselves. True leaders lead from within.
Today’s leaders are those who know who they are and what they want, and those who have the courage to pursuit those things they want in life.
A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.
John Maxwell
Today’s leaders are not just those leading top corporations. Today’s leaders are everywhere… teachers choosing to bring the best in youth, personal trainers choosing to help people become fit and healthy, coaches choosing to help people unlock their true potential, parents choosing to bring their children up as strong and confident individuals, artists choosing to remind everyone that beauty is all around us, spiritual leaders choosing to show the path to inner peace and strength, individuals choosing to better themselves, … the list goes on and on.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
John Quincy Adams
Today’s leaders own and are in control of their own lives. They embrace change and welcome the opportunity to learn when faced with mistakes or set-backs. Because leaders understand that mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth.
Leaders embrace their past and understand that today they are stronger and wiser because of those times they endured pain, suffering or failure. They don’t feel a product of their past. They do not have to justify to anyone but themselves. They do not respond to anyone but themselves. Leaders make choices. They choose to take control of their lives. Because they know that the only person that can do that is themselves.
Victims allow their thoughts to take over their life. Their thoughts determine their behaviours. A victim will display behaviours such as being overweight, smoking, heavy drinking, depression, drugs, low work performance, stress, long periods of TV watching, lack of desire to change or improve or relationship issues, etc.
Leaders take control of their thoughts. They watch and are aware of any thoughts that don’t serve them, and don’t engage in dialogue with them or believe what they say. Because they understand that if they don’t take control of their thoughts, their thoughts will control their life.
Leaders create new stories to help them create the change they want to see within themselves. Because leaders understand that any thought, any belief, any behaviour that doesn’t serve them right can be changed for an improved new one that will serve them better. Because the leader acknowledges that anything is possible.
Leaders are aware of their eating habits, respect their bodies and the environment that surrounds them, care for others with no hidden agenda, have a healthy work-life balance, perform highly in their jobs, look forward to waking up and seizing the day. Leaders engage in proactive and positive initiatives rather than getting caught up in hate and negativity. Because leaders understand they have the choice.