A Coaching Power Tool Created by Mami Sugimura
(Caregiving Coaching, UNITED STATES)
WHAT IS Happy Revitalization?
According to Oxford Dictionaries,
Happy is “Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment”.
Revitalization is “The action of imbuing something with new life and vitality”.
When we are fully energized to deal with other peoples and matters, and its outcome is very satisfactory, we feel happy.
WHAT IS Unhappy Stagnation?
According to Oxford Dictionaries,
Unhappy is “Not satisfied or pleased with (a situation)”.
Stagnation is “The state of not flowing or moving” “Lack of activity, growth, or development”.
When we are stuck in our thoughts, matters, and relationship with others, and its outcome is unsatisfactory, we feel unhappy.
Becky (name changed for anonymity) noticed that she couldn’t move her legs anymore and had difficulty to breath all of the sudden. As her psych was clear enough to ask people around her to call ambulance.
After she was transferred to ER bed and got a diagnosis of complication of PE and SLE, and found out that she was on the edge of live or die. Due to her very complicated condition, a cardiothoracic surgeon was brought in the hospital, and he explained to her 3- step treatment to agree. The 1st step was Anticoagulation, the 2nd step was Thrombolysis, and the 3rd step was surgical embolectomy, which was required to take out her heart and continue the treatment procedure. She only agreed step 1 & 2, but denied to agree on the 3rd step. At this point, her survival ratio was extremely low.
Fortunately the procedures went extremely well, and she was transferred to a regular hospital room after staying in ICU for 10 days. Still she was not well enough and not allowed to move her whole body, except her head for another 4 weeks.
When she noticed where she was, she felt devastated, and cried over her own situation that disabled her to implement her mission.
Her mission was to accompany her mother to her cancer treatments, and she took time off to be a caregiver to her mother, and it ended up that she became a patient, instead.
When Becky was incapable of moving on the bed, she started wondering why she was still alive. One patient next to her was dead, and she heard that other younger patient who suffered from a similar condition was also dead. Why they died? Why not me?
She couldn’t find the reason why, but realized that she was not alive by her will, and something higher allowed her to live for some reason.
She didn’t know what the reason was at that point, but also realized that all the doctors and nurses had been taking very good care of her for 24/7. She started feeling a huge amount of gratitude to the fact that she was let live with their ever-changing care.
She also started observing her condition and its development and its pattern very precisely as if she was her own doctor.
At the 4th week later, her doctor allowed her to move her body freely with a great caution. She was very excited about getting outside of her room with a wheel chair in the Christian hospital. Though she was not a Christian, she asked a helper to take her to a chapel inside of the hospital, and she stayed there for a while. She felt so relieved in divinity. After she left the chapel, she found the book on the shelf of hospital library. The author who spent 13 years in bed with her same immobilised condition wrote the book. Immediately after she went back to her room, she read it over night. And she cried with joy and promised herself to make the following happen:
- Change her working environment from IT to medical field
- Be helpful to other people
- Have a weekend house in country
Fifteen years later, she achieved them all as a Medical Doctor and CEO of Non-Profit organization, and spending time in her weekend house in country with her husband and dog.
Self – Application
When Becky was devastated under her unforeseen medical circumstance, here are questions what she asked to herself to overcome.
- Responsibility vs. Blame: Is it true whether you must be fully responsible for a certain roll
- Responding vs. Reacting: Is there any alternative method?
- Mindfulness: Where are you? What are you doing?
- Creating Awareness: What is important to your life? What is your ideal situation?
- Reframing Perspective: If it doesn’t work, what else can you do?
- Lightness vs. Significance:
- Gratitude: What makes you feel grateful?
- Visualization: What is your ideal situation?
- Confidence: Think about your prideful moments. What have you done at that time?
- Appreciative Inquiry: What if you have billion dollars and all resources that you need, what are you going to do with them?
- Intent: What would you like to do most?
- Creating Actions & Creating Structures: What are your plans? By when, what are you going to be/ do?
- Effective Feedback: What works, or not works?
- Self-Management: In scale from 0 to 10, how are your plans progresses to achieve your goal?
From the birth to death, the journey of Life is continuing. On it’s way, sometimes life goes with flow, and sometimes life gets stuck. When we stuck in the state of “stagnation”, most of the time, we are worn out, frustrated, depressed, and not happy. However, every moment has opportunity, and there is no waste in the moments of our life. It’s a great moment to reflect upon ourselves, and ask about our own value, and ideal situation. We can learn from both good time and bad time. As the coaching application to apply for the above circumstance, I created a coaching model ENSPIRE as follows.
ENSPIRE is for a person who is deeply stuck in Unhappy Stagnation to transcendent to Happy Revitalization.
ENSPIRE is 7-step Transformation Coaching Model to make the change happen from the state of Unhappy Stagnation to Happy Revitalization.
Powerful Listening / Creating Trust
- How are you feeling today?
- What would you like to talk about today?
- Open- ended questions with “When? How? What? Where? Who?” to expand the discussion
Notice (Thought and Feeling)
Powerful Question / Creating Awareness / Reframing Perspectives / Responding vs. Reacting / Respect vs. Invalidation / Releasing Judgment / Mindfulness / Emotional Intelligence / Strength Finder / Appreciative Inquiry / Lightness vs. Significance
- What caused it?
- How do you feel about it?
- Is it true?
- What do you want to do with it?
Visualization / Values & Life Purpose / Underlying Beliefs
- What do you want to achieve by the end of this session?”
- What will you think about this five years from now?
- On your 80th birthday, where you are, with who you are, what you do?
- If you have billion dollars, what are you going to do?
- What is the most important for you?
Plan and strategy
Creating Action / Creating Structures / Neuro Linguistic Programming
- What’s your game plan?
- Would you like to brainstorm this idea?
- Like what?
- What are other angles you can think of?
Intent / Confidence / Action vs. Delay / Commitment vs. Trying / Self Management
- What will you do?
- By when will you do it?
Reflect the outcome/ feedback
Effective Feedback / Diversity / Acknowledgement
- How is this working?
- How would you describe this?
- What do you think about the feedback?
- What is the learning/ lesson?
Mindfulness /Gratitude / Accountability
- Would you let me know how it goes?
- When you want to talk to me, I’m there for you. Would you like to get in touch with me?
From starting to establish trusted relationship between the client and the coach to embrace the new state of client’s life, ENSPIRE coaching model support and empower the client.