A Coaching Power Tool Created by Keng Loong Cheah
(Career Coach, SINGAPORE)
Background
Why do people not achieve what they set out to achieve? One key reason is because their minds are filled with a clutter – disempowering thoughts which are taking up precious space. Most people know what they got to do to achieve their goals, or they know what they got to do to find out how to achieve their goals. However, not many are committed to what they set out to do.
To put it simply, people who achieve do not entertain thoughts in their mind which are roadblocks to success, rather, they go about doing what they need to do with a single-minded steadfast approach, more often than not, they succeed.
So, why do people consciously/subconsciously allow their minds to clutter up, and what exactly is “clutter” composed of? Let’s explore further!
Clutter
When we think about clutter, we think about a room filled with an untidy collection of items, mostly items that are of no use to us, yet we are still keeping them. The same goes for our minds! When we have a collection of disempowering thoughts that are clouding our heads, whether voluntary or involuntary, it is very difficult for us to navigate our course, especially when these thoughts consume us physically and emotionally.Common examples include:
Fear
What will happen if I make a mistake?
What if it all fails; how will people look at me and judge me?
What if my parents/spouse/children/friends/everyone around me are unhappy with me?
Insecurities
I don’t think that I am smart enough to take on that job!
I am definitely not good-looking enough to speak to that girl/guy, he/she is out of my league!
I am just not good enough for anything!
Excuses
I don’t have the money to start a business!
I don’t have the time to go to the gym!
I don’t have the energy to work on this new project!
Competing commitments
I have no time to do the“critical but I am terribly afraid/absolutely hate to do”tasks,I need to do the “simple routine” tasks,which are required of me in my job.
I have to spend time with my family, I have to spend time with my friends, I have to spend time with my parents, I have to spend time with my dog.
Politics
I hate my boss, why should I work so hard for him/her?
My colleagues are so fake, how can I work with them?
Clarity
You are in the zone! Your focus is laser-sharp, and you are totally fixated on accomplishing your mission. This focus will create a powerful barrier around your mind to knock off any unwanted thoughts that could potentially sabotage your task at hand. We all know how it feels like, and one key ingredient is CLARITY.
Clarity in specific action steps breeds certainty in the desired outcome and reinforces your will to progress and make it work.
Clarity in your thoughts,understanding your purpose in doing the job/task, having thoughts which are positive and empowering, will be the foundation of which your success can be achieved.
Coaching Application
When in a coaching conversation with a client who seem to be facing difficulties in accomplishing what he/she set out to do, it is an opportunity to explore what is cluttering his/her mind and a platform to gain clarity on what steps he/she can take to make it work.
Questions to develop clarity:
- What’s going through your mind? What else?
- What about this task is important/critical?
- What are you really committed to?
- What will happen if you were to complete this task?
- What will happen if you were to not complete the task?
- What will not happen if you were to complete this task?
- What will not happen if you were to not complete this task?
- What do you think you need to focus on right now?
Questions to uncover clutter:
- What is the thought that always comes up which interrupts your flow? What else?
- What is the thought that overwhelms you constantly?
- What really is bothering you?
- How did this thought come about?
- How does this thought support you?
- How is this thought disrupting you?
- What can you do about this thought?
- What if this thought pops up again?