Power Tool: Waiting vs. Creating

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Kelly London
(Life Coach, UNITED STATES)

Many people wait for the time to be right and many people forge ahead “forcing” the issue as opposed to waiting for the planets to align. This forging ahead can make many people lead their lives like a bull in the china shop creating havoc in their lives and the lives of those around them. Others sit back passively waiting for the time to be right living by the rule

Good things come to those who wait.

It is important to know what type of person you are, and to understand how and when you should react to the situation. Those who are creators, often do not think things through, and rush into situations blindly. Then wonder in frustration why nothing ever goes their way. Those who are waiters, do just that, wait for the time to be right. Both of these types can learn to take positive steps to help achieve the goals that they want. Nobody can fully control their lives 100%, but action and reaction can direct the individual towards achieving their goal.

In order to help a creator create a positive outcome, the creator must be walked down the path of contemplation and planning. Several questions must be asked:

What is the outcome you would like in this situation?
What are you going to do to achieve this outcome?
Who will be affected by your action or inaction?

The Creator

When she was young, Sally worked at a Credit Union. She had only been there for a short period of time, when she realized her supervisor was ineffective, and not a good leader at all. Soon it wasn’t long before the others in her department were looking to her for leadership and guidance. Sally’s actions got the attention of higher ups, and soon she was asked to sit on panels and committees to help make the credit union a better place to work, and to help with training programs and manuals. Sally’s supervisor on the other hand wasn’t picked for these things. Being so involved with upper management, she knew they were watching her supervisor very closely and he was going to be let go. She also knew that she would be promoted to his position. Sally worked very hard to learn all that she needed to know to excel in her position and well has her supervisors. She stayed after work and sat with others to gain this knowledge. However, as the months went by and things remained the same she became impatient, and started looking for another job. It didn’t take long, Sally found one and left the credit union. One week later her supervisor was let go. The job Sally wanted and worked so hard to get was given to somebody else; whom she found out later resigned and went back to her old position a few months later unable to handle the pressure. If Sally had stopped and asked a few powerful questions of herself things would have been different. Sally knew the outcome she wanted; she wanted her supervisor’s job. She also knew what she needed to do to achieve that, and put in the time learning the intricacies of the position and being involved in other areas of the company. What Sally didn’t consider was who was going to be affected by her actions or inactions. If she had asked that, she would have realized that by leaving Sally let many people down that had invested their time in her and depended on her to sit on committees, write policies and procedures and help them with their daily tasks. Sally also affected the person who was promoted to a position she didn’t want. If Sally had just stayed a little longer looked at the bigger picture, so many people would not have been affected in such a negative way.

In recognizing a waiter, we know that there are two kinds; those who walk the path of contemplation and planning and those that ignore the fact that they can influence an outcome all together. Both need to get to an action stage. The questions to ask of the waiter sound remarkably familiar to the ones we ask of the creator.

What is the outcome you would like in this situation?
What are you going to do to achieve this outcome?
Who will be affected by your action or inaction?

The waiter

Josie was just the opposite of Sally, she went to work every day, and dreamed of the day she got promoted to a management position. She talked about the house she would buy, the trips she would take the new car she always wanted, the things she could afford if she was a manager, yet time and time again Jose was passed up for a management position. If Josie had been truthful with herself, and asked a few simple questions she would see why she wasn’t getting the promotion she wanted. She already knew the answer to the first question, what is the outcome you would like in this situation, she knew she wanted a management position. But that’s where she stopped. If she had continued and asked the second question, she would know that to achieve this outcome, she needed to do more. She went to work, but didn’t do anything extra, she didn’t take any classes, or do anything to show management that she wanted, deserved or was even qualified for a promotion! Josie knew that she needed to take some courses at the local college and get involved with projects and committees at work to be more involved and help with some of the decision making process’. She knew the effects of these actions would probably land her a promotion, or if not, she would be qualified to find a management position in another company. If she did nothing, Josie would remain unsatisfied.

At this point, both the waiters and the creators have realized they are afraid of success or failure and/or some combination of both. The creator is afraid not to try, but afraid to be successful or of failing so sabotages their efforts before they have a chance to realize success or failure. The waiter is paralyzed with many fears, fear of being successful, fear of failure, fear of people ridiculing them for trying, and a wealth of other fears. This allows you as a coach to help them explore these fears and learn to manage it and maintain a steady course of positive forward momentum towards their goals. We can then add these powerful questions to the mix:

What made you act or not act?
How would you feel if you did/didn’t achieve your goal?
Where do you want to be in 10 years?
Does your current behavior help or hinder you in achieving that goal?
What reward are you getting by your actions/inactions?
What step could you take towards your goal that wouldn’t hinder it or make you uncomfortable?